Thursday, December 29, 2011

Facts of Life. . .

I really have no "facts" about life. . . just some confessions since I feel my blog is the best way to tell my dirty little secrets since the only people that read this are some family members (who love me no matter what), few friends, and complete and utter strangers. Apparently I have a big Ukraine following. :)

And really, when looking back, I feel the Facts of Life only taught me that most things could be resolved in a half hour or sometimes an hour (when an episode was continued) and that George Clooney was going to be a star. And it really made me want to have my own Mrs. Garrett. I digress. . .

I feel that sometimes (okay most times) I will always be the 13-year-old me. Never fails. When it comes to guys, I will never think that they are interested in me. Granted, I have lost my crush on Damon from the MMC, but still love Tony Lucca. I still love my family and extended family and nothing will probably change that. I still cry for no reason and I will, without fail, watch Saved by the Bell. Plus, I still talk to a good portion of the people I was friends with at 13.

However, now the 31-year-old me does creepy things, like think Zac Efron's hot and on Tues night, I flipped between the IL game and this movie called Keith. Which if you read the synopsis, sounds really stupid. . . but it had JESSE MCCARTNEY! I always thought "What a cute kid!" and then he turned 20, and I was like "Woah, he's pretty hot is he legal?". In case you feel compelled to watch the movie, it's basically A Walk to Remember but with Jesse in Mandy Moore's roll. I'm sorry I just ruined the movie for you. I guess you could probably watch both movies side by side just so you can see Shane West. . . I don't feel bad about Shane West as he's my age. . . and I do know I have a penchant for 25-year-olds because they are so trainable when you're the older one in the relationship but I can't help but feel like a creeper when I think someone that's like 9 years younger than I am is cute. Wait. . . Jesse is 25. . . totally normal now. :)

I really do feel things are getting weirder for me at 31. I will instantly stop and watch Zac Efron's movies. . .and apparently watch Jesse McCartney movies. . . and now. . . I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but I am also now having dreams about Rob Kardashian. The only male Kardashian. We're dating in my dreams apparently. Thankfully, he hasn't introduced me to Kim but I have gotten to meet Khloe. I don't even watch Keeping Up with Kardashians or Dancing with the Stars and he's in my dreams?? Maybe I need to quit watching E! News or reading my gossip mags. I don't know.

It's scaring me. . . who knows what 32 will have in store for me!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

I need to just let this out there as in a week's time I have talked about this 3 times now. THREE. So in my mind, that's quite a bit to be a repeat convo.

So. . . well. . .

Zac Efron is hot.

And not like a little bit hot, but a lot hot. Why can't he find me irresistible on Match?

Anyway, he's in a new movie, coming out today, which is probably why he's been brought up so much. On Saturday my roommate and I were talking and she says "I have to tell you something that might be inappropriate considering all the child molestation stuff coming out, but I really think Zac Efron is hot." I said "Umm. . . yeah. . .but he's totally legal now."

Then we got to talking about when he got his hotness. We are too old for the High School Musical stuff and I can't remember what TV shows he was on off the top of my head.

I told her for me it was 17 Again. She was like "Oh yes! That was it!! Then came Charlie St. Cloud." Oooh Charlie St. Cloud. Then we both got to thinking that he might have actually been 17 while filming 17 Again, and we felt dirty.

People, I probably won't see the movie New Year's Eve because all the reviews say that it's one of the worst movies ever made. If I do watch it, it will be when it's free on tv. And I will probably only rewatch the parts with Zac Efron in them. And Josh Duhamel. I seriously stopped what I was doing and watched Win a Date with Tad Hamilton one day. I love Topher Grace too, so it was win/win, but a really horrible movie.

Seriously, why can't those guys be here in Iowa in real life??

I also realized I am going through a beard phase. Like, I won't even look at a guy who doesn't have a beard. I love No Shave November for this purpose. I talked my best guy friend into growing a beard. He still hasn't shaved it. I bet it's because I keep mentioning how hot he looks with one like every time I see him.

I really better find a guy on Match soon or else I'm going to start pretending I'm dating someone famous and just "hang out" with them by watching their movies. . . .

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself . . .

Life is funny. Especially my life, which I constantly just have to laugh at.

Yesterday, I was having a down day as I have gotten NO response on Match besides rejections if I did get one.

Then I was walking to the restroom in my office building (and I'll admit it, I'm a speed walker) and the heel of my shoe got caught on the hem of my pants which caused me to literally dive onto the ground about 10ft from the bathroom door. Luckily no one saw me, but I'm pretty sure I yelled "FUCK!" I'm also happy I didn't wet my pants as I have a tendency to sit at my desk until the last possible minute.

Now flash forward to 10am this morning. I had just gotten done with my meeting and went to open my car door. And BAM! nothing happened but the force as to which my door did not open, caused me to jam my fingers and subsequently, rip my nail off on my middle finger down to the wick.

Then an hour later, I am walking back into the building for another meeting at my usual fast pace, when my heel gets caught in a crack in the cement and my foot comes flying out of my shoe that is not moving with the rest of my body, scraping my foot. I didn't even realize what happened until my bare foot hit the cold pavement. A guy walking out of the building said "Woah, I thought you had tripped, until I saw you walk back for your shoe!"

I can't wait until this evening! :)

Monday, December 5, 2011

I think I found a sure cure to help with my self-esteem. . .

Oh wait, just kidding. It actually makes it worse.

Due to much pressure, I finally caved and joined Match.com. The only bad problem is that I really am only on there once or twice a week. The even worse problem is that I am apparently hideous. Which would probably explain why I am single to begin with.

The one and only time I tried Online dating, I didn't really read the guy's profile. He was super persistent on getting together, so I met him for lunch. He joked that he was short and I just thought he was 5'6". He was maybe 5'4" and portly. I can do portly. I need portly and sports active like me and at least 5'6". He also told me that he let his cat eat out of his popcorn bowl. That creeped me out.

In life, I am told that I come off very confident and self-assured and whatnot. And really in every other aspect of my life besides when it comes to the opposite sex, I am confident and self-assured. Then I start to like someone or think someones cute, and I become a complete idiot and self-deprecating.

When I first joined Match, I was told to email guys right off the bat and don't wink by one guy friend but then another guy friend said that I should send out winks to everyone. I initially signed up just to see what was out there but didn't pay for the service, so really all I could do was wink which I think I only winked at a few people. Then after much deliberation, one of my friends and I joined together. We decided on the 6 month plan, and if we don't find someone, then it's 6 months free. He's getting winks, emails, and all these ladies interested in him. The funny part, is that he has ladies interested in him outside the world of online dating too.

I've had 5 winks since I initially signed up in September and NO emails since I signed up to pay a month ago. I've sent 10 emails out in that month and either no responses or immediate rejection. So, if you're wondering, this is absolutely horrible for my self-esteem. HORRIBLE. Had I not been hit on by a very drunk man on Saturday night and by a 23 month-old child on Sunday who yelled "hi" to me at the store but then wouldn't talk to me and only smile, I would be very sad.

Maybe I am supposed to be single. However, I'm pretty sure God didn't make me a great cook to waste it on just me.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Put a Fork in it. . . I'm done!

Lately, I feel the news seems to revolve around 3 things:


  • Sanduskey and Penn State

  • Kim Kardashian

  • NBA Lockout

I am sick of hearing about all 3 and I feel all of them have one thing in common: Money.


I'll start with Sanduskey. I'm not sure what people know about my job, but I am a children's advocate. So. . . I've read many a case files about children being abused or being the abusers to other children. The things that happened at Penn State make me sick. Do I feel it's Paterno's fault?? No. Do I feel that he probably should have had a red flag pop up the many, many times that Sanduskey was alone with random boys?? Yes. When I notice a friend's behavior is off, I ask another friend or my friend themselves. It's been stated that it was common practice for Sanduskey to take young boys to away games and stay with them in the same hotel room. Games his wife wasn't there. These are not family friends. These are random young boys. That is weird. I also find it funny (but not in a haha type way) that Sanduskey stated he isn't a pedophile and that everyone horses around in the shower and takes showers after workouts. That is true. But everyone usually takes showers in the locker room with people their own age or with people who are at the gym after their workout. . . and everyone is usually in a different stall. I never remember one of my coaches showering in the locker rooms with us after a workout. That would have been weird. I'm pretty sure the reason this was all covered up was because of the money Penn State would have lost. Why else would you repeatedly turn a blind eye and enable someone like that?


Now as for the NBA Lockout: You money hungry cry babies. They are so worried that the middle level prospect will be making $400,000 less a year but don't seem to care about all the games that are being cancelled that the lower income people who are relying on the job at the venues they play at aren't making any money at all. Good for you guys! Why don't the super money makers give up some of their money to the middle levels?? That's an idea. I quit watching the NBA after the last time they were in contract negotiations. I probably will never watch them again. This is why I stick to college sports. They still have a love of the game. Granted their love of the game might be to make a big pay check later on, but. . .


The Kardashians. . . specifically Kim. I'm not going to lie here, I get sucked into Keeping up with the Kardashians and their spin-offs from time to time. One of the days that my roommie and I got sucked into watching a marathon and they were in Bora Bora it was definitely portraying Kim as a spoiled brat who also was really annoying. Yet Kris Humphries STILL proposed to her after he just said how ridiculous she was acting. Good plan. If you're annoyed now. . . wait 20 years down the line. . . and then see how annoyed you are. If I have to see one more thing on Kim and Kris and how horrible Kim feels about. . . I might explode.


I already talked about how ridiculously expensive the wedding was and they should have donated money instead. Well instead of returning the wedding gifts after 72 days of marriage, she said she would just donate all this money to charity. Really?? If I had went to that wedding, I would want my gift back. And hmmm. . .let me see. . .maybe you should have just donated that money to begin with. . . especially if this wedding turns out to be a sham. Or maybe they are just trying to drum up publicity for Kim and Kourtney take New York. I just want to know when Reality Stars got to be actual celebrities?? Anyway, if I had to pick a Kardashian, it's Khloe. She keeps it real. She admits how ridiculous her marriage happened so quickly to Lamar yet her marriage is already over a year or so old.


I am done venting. Maybe I should just quit reading the gossip pages. . . but who am I going to live vicariously through??



Wednesday, October 12, 2011

To the Left, to the Left

Yet another one of my friends is moving from this great place.

She, too, was one of my first friends here. I will so miss her. I went to her wedding on Friday and it was absolutely amazing. The hotel we were staying at had a bar in the basement. Not just any bar though. A dance club. . . AND a bowling alley all in one. Best bar ever. :) I think I told you about Suz as she met the love of her life almost 8 years ago in Scotland when she was studying abroad. He came to visit last year to see if there was still anything. . . and there was. It's an amazing love story for sure.

Anyway, it got me to thinking about all the people who have moved away and obviously I moved away 7+ years ago. Whose job is it in a friendship to stay in touch? The mover? Or the people who have stayed?

I realized that I'm ALWAYS the one who has tried to stay in touch. I try and stay in touch with the people who have moved and I try and stay in touch with the people who I moved away from. Who is trying to stay in touch with me?? I've realized, not a lot of people. That may sound harsh, but after talking to my cousin today, I told her I think I'm starting to turn into a grumpy old woman, and I am tired of making an effort with everyone. She told me that she's glad I do because I'm the glue that keeps everyone together.

With all this technology have we just gotten lazy?? I have called one of my friends who recently moved 3 times. I have never gotten a call back. I got an IM that said she was in traffic once and couldn't answer. . . the next day, but have yet to get an actual phone call. I will admit, I do a lot of my calling when I'm in my car. I put people on speaker phone and drive and talk away. That's the only time I have I guess.

Back when people moved, it was a joy to write letters and send cards. But now with email, people send emails and e-cards. But I'm wondering if the introduction of Facebook and Twitter has just made us all lazy because we can just look on there and see what are friends are up to. I had a friend make a comment once she was worried about me because I hadn't posted on Facebook in awhile.

I know I've heard from people lately how they were going through their Friends and deleting people. I almost feel bad about that. I mean, I know everyone I'm friends with. And there are people from high school who I don't talk to regularly, but I like to be able to look up and see what their up to, so we have a different topic of conversation at reunions besides the standard "What's going on in your life?" I already know! It's on Facebook! Then there are those friends of friends who I occasionally hang out with, and it's nice to know what they're up to since it's hard to carry on a conversation in a bar. Plus some people have really great drama that tend to broadcast it on Facebook, and I like to read it. I know you all do too! And it's a great way to stay in touch with all my relatives from near and far. But I know it's true for me that I don't call my cousins and talk like I used to even if they aren't on Facebook a lot.

I also realized that I try and make an effort to visit friends. My friend Amanda and I (she lives in FL) just met this weekend when she was in the QC visiting her family, and I was there for a wedding. I thought the wedding was elsewhere but we were still going to meet there. She and I also talk about every week, but we BOTH make that effort to stay in touch. Amanda's been here to visit me a few times, but more often we meet halfway. She was saying the next time she's back, she's going to just leave her son with her parents and come see me here again. She hasn't seen my house.

But the sad thing is that while I make an effort to see some friends when I'm home, I can only count on my hand the few friends who have actually made a trip to see me. Some it took awhile, but they finally made it. Then I have some friends/family who always come and see me more than I see them. And I feel bad. (D$ and H--that's you!) I also feel like it's a problem with friends who live here. I moved to a different neighborhood and don't hang out with my friends in the old neighborhood near as much. Mike actually warned me we wouldn't hang out as much since I was moving 15 minutes away. I seriously thought he was joking, but he wasn't. But Mike is good about stopping by when he's in my neighborhood. Granted, 3 out of 4 times I haven't been home. But it's true with me too. I'm less likely to call someone 15 minutes away to grab a drink in my hood as opposed to calling someone already there.

I love how I completely went off subject, but really, if you know me, it's nothing new. First time readers might be surprised. . . :)

I guess my point is that I think Facebook has made most people more lazy than they already are in staying in touch. Not me obviously, since I am apparently glue-like. But we all need to remember that while we have the technology to stay in touch, we need to use it. Write on someone's wall, send them a text, or an email just so that person knows you still care. Facebook isn't developed enough yet, to where you can tell who's viewing your profile yet. And thank God for that one, because we might all look like stalkers! Wait. . .maybe just me. . .

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

You put your right foot in. . .

I have made a huge leap.


I'm putting in my toes to test the waters.


I'm starting a new chapter maybe.


I signed up for On-line dating.


EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That's exactly what I'm thinking. The Match.com commercials kept popping up during football, so my roommate and I decided that I should just sign up and see what's out there. So I did. And now over 2 weeks later, I was just able to get on there again. Worst Match user ever. I told people I was too busy for online dating and I was right. I'm hoping next week will be slower so I can actually like email people and whatnot. I need sleep and refuse to get on there after 10pm instead of heading to bed. Gee. . . wonder why I'm single now?? Hmmm. . .


And I haven't written anything in my blog for like a month, so really, you all know how busy I am that I can't even write during the day when I should be working.


I also find it funny the people Match thinks I would be a good match with. You like Dogs, he likes dogs. You'd be a good match. I'm a little worried. Also, it seems the only guys that show interest in me are people that I don't find interesting. There were a couple of profiles that cracked me up and those are the ones that I'm most likely going to want to get to know, but those are not the guys who send stuff that they are interested in me. I tried to be funny in my profile, and my roommate helped me write it, and we both thought I was funny. Who knows?!? It's a guessing game I suppose.




Random thoughts:


Things you guys should be worried about though. Hobby Lobby had CHRISTMAS decorations up already. It's not even Halloween. I am refusing to participate. I really can only handle one holiday thrown at me at one time. I like to savor things like Halloween candy so Christmas, you shall wait until after Thanksgiving.


I'm in trouble. I have 2 ridiculously cute nephews who are going to be able to just win me over by smiles. Look at this guy:



My Dad told me that my nephew said "Papa, I have to tell you a secret. It's a big one and you can't tell anyone. I love you the most out of anybody." My Dad said a tear rolled down his cheek. I told Dad that he wasn't supposed to tell anyone that. I also asked my Dad if it happened before or after he took Caleb to McDonald's and bought him some cars. He sure knows how to work us!


Being a favorite of my aunts and uncles, I am hoping I don't show favoritism. I try not to. But Caden actually falls asleep on me and my sister calls me the "Baby Whisperer." My biggest fear is that he'll forget about me seeing as I don't get home as much as I did when Caleb was a baby. I try and love on him as much as I can though.


Well I should probably be getting back to work. . . I actually have a lot to do still!


But before I go. . . one last story:


I have a huge crush on a bartender at the bar by my house. We actually hang out and talk from time to time outside the bar. Anyway, on Saturday, we went up there with my friends Jamie and Tim for Jamie's birthday for a few drinks.


I introduce my crush to Tim and Jamie to which Tim replies "Oh nice to finally meet you, she talks about you all the time" and then later Tim tells him that he thought his hair would be less spiky. Really Tim? Worst. Wingman. Ever. But he still gave them free drinks. ;)




Friday, September 2, 2011

Wanna be a baller. . .

Wanna be a baller, shot caller, 20 inch blade on the Impala
A caller gettin laid tonight

and that's all I know of those lyrics. . . I hit the highway. . . making money the fly way. . .

Actually I don't think that's what the lyrics are but I was going old school this weekend.

And by "old school" I mean I pretended I was back in college and drank for 11 hours. It was my friend's birthday and we were supposed to tubing down a river and camping, but the weather had other plans for us. So instead of being on a river in the downpour and sporatic lightening, we opted to watch college football and do a bar tour of sorts. We also played 2 rounds of circle of death. I don't know what's wrong with us either. I think it was because we were at a well known college bar in town. But there were no college kids to be seen. haha!

At the end of the night, we ended up at my place making s'mores. But wasn't it pouring down rain, you say?? Why, yes. Yes it was. My roommate had the most brilliant idea to make them in the oven. We got out the metal sticks we use for our fire pit, turned the oven on broil, and roasted the marshmallows. And they even catch fire if you put them too close. Just like the campfire folks!

Anyway, I also want to discuss something of importance. Well "of importance" I basically mean phrase I've decided to coin. :)

"Juke" is a term, often used in sports, when you fake someone out.

My friends and I use this term often when trying to get someone to change the subject or with other random things. Like when they're giving you a hard time about something and you then say something completely off subject like bring up a natural disaster. You're conversation juking.

I heard the term "Jesus Juke" one time and I thought it was hilarious. And sooo true. It's when you're talking with someone in a clearly joke filled conversation and they completely reverse the conversation into something serious and holy. You know people who do this. They all of a sudden become holier than though. It's annoying!

Anyway, last week my friend and I were talking, and we came up with the term "Boyfriend Juke" or "Girlfriend Juke". I guess really it could be called "Significant Other Juke" but I don't think it has quite the same ring to it.

It's when you're talking to someone. . . . say it's a stranger or a friend of a friend and all of a sudden he/she says "Well my girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife. . . blah, blah, blah . . . ."

This happened to me Thursday night. I was talking to a guy who is a friend of several of my friends and an acquaintance of mine. I've probably known him for 6 years now. We run into each other every week at softball during the summer, and we even go to the same church. On Sunday at church, I saw him, and we had a seat behind us open, so I motioned for him to sit by us. Well he mentioned last night that we should exchange phone numbers and maybe we could always save each other seats if we know the other is going. Great idea, really. Anyway, right after we exchanged numbers and had been talking for about 10 minutes, out of nowhere he says "Well I couldn't get my girlfriend to come to church on Sunday or most Sundays so I usually go by myself."

He "Girlfriend Juked" me. I was not hitting on him. I was talking to him about our church. And probably softball prior to that. And his job interview went that he was supposed to have.

Later that night, the same thing happened to my friend. It had to do with the shirt she had, so this guy had tried it on and said "Too small??" And she started laughing and then he said "well maybe my girlfriend could wear it." They were in a group of 5 people when they did this and played softball together all summer and never brought up that he had a girlfriend. And then BAM! it's like he thought she was hitting on him when she wasn't.

I've seen this happen many times. It's annoying. And hilarious when it's at the most awkward moment possible.

And now that I've brought it to your attention, I'm sure you'll be on the look out for it!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I want to go back.. .

I was listening to the radio
I heard a song that reminded me of long ago
Back then I thought things were never going to change
It used to be that I never had to feel the pain
I know that things will never be the same now

I wanna go back

And do it all over
But I can't go back I know

I wanna go back
Cause I'm feeling so much older
But I can't go back I know



Thank you Eddie Money. Thank you! I always think of that song when I hear things that make me wish I could go back in time.

One of my best friends is moving. She was the third friend I made here when I moved to this great state. I literally cried the minute she told me. I had to run to the bathroom and grab some toilet paper. It will be weird not having her around. I've known her for almost 7 years now. She's been to my parents house. She's hung out with my IL peeps. I dog sit their dog, Max. My life slightly revolves around hers. I mean, we work in the same building (which is how we met) so we go to lunch weekly and sometimes every day. We do happy hours. We've played volleyball for 6 years together and kickball for the last 4. Now a lot of my routine will change.

I also realize I have a lot of friends moving coming up. Booo. We have a month or so. . . so I will make the best of it. I'll miss her. I finally understand what it was like for my friends. And at least she's doing it with her husband, so she's not entirely alone like I was.

I miss back home all the time. I miss my family and my close friends. I miss my parents or my sister just dropping by. And every day I wonder what it would be like if I hadn't gone and where I would be. I've made some great friends here that I know have helped me grow and maybe that wouldn't have happened where I was at.

I know I can only live in the moment. Maybe my Prince Charming is here. . .I guess I'll wait and see. . .



**Original post written on 7/7/2011. I didn't post it because not everyone knew she was moving yet and then just noticed I hadn't ever posted it.



Monday, August 29, 2011

MTV--I think I'm over you too. . .

Apparently Adam Levine made the comment how he's over the VMAs because MTV really doesn't care about music anymore.

And, well, he's right. I just looked up the schedule for MTV and there's no music on there until like 3am. Then at 7am, non-music programming starts again. 4 hours of music--and that's it!

I remember when they had TRL at least. . . and played music videos in the mornings until like 11am. . . what happened???

Doesn't the "M" in MTV stand for Music?

They were innovative when they aired "Video Killed the Radio Star" but really it should be called "Bad Reality TV killed the music videos" or something like that. They had funny shows about music and comedians who had their own 30 minute shows. Then The Real World and Road Rules. Then. . . somewhere. . . it went horribly wrong.


Do they really make that much money off of the shows that it's cost effective to no longer play music videos?? You can find music videos on their website though. . . or you know. . . just go to You Tube.

I guess I can go online and watch music videos. . . and maybe that's what they want you to do. Or have we as a society become too dependent on our computers and they just expect us to do that?? I don't know. I do go to my On Demand and watch music videos and sing and dance around my house. That's totally normal by the way. . .

Even VH1 only has music from 6am-11am. I guess that's 5 hours at least. But still. . .

I miss the old days. When music television played music videos. I miss when sitcoms were well written and quirky. I miss when people were famous for doing something great in movies or television or for having been musically talented, and not for a sex tape. Does that make me sound old???










Friday, August 26, 2011

My latest Gripe.

I hate to really say anything controversial on my blog, but my friend and I last night go into quite the talk about it last night. We were on the same side, but I looked at the numbers today and well. . . yikes.

College Athletes

I'm not sure if you're an avid readers of sports news, but do you notice how often college athletes get in trouble?? I'm also not sure if the news media only mentions the college level football and basketball players who get in trouble and never seems to mention the lesser money making scholarship athletes.

What made us the most sad, are the college athletes who feel entitled to everything when they are there playing. They think girls should just fall all over them and that people should bow down to them. (Not all college athletes are this way, but I've met quite a few as had Liz.)

Anyway, with the recent news where 9-11 Hurricane football players are being suspended because they took money from a donor. Reggie Bush lost his Heisman for taking money from a donor. See also Ohio State Athletics. And recently even Tim Tebow made a comment about how college athletes SHOULD be paid because of all the work they do.

Hey Tim Tebow. . . you're on an athletic scholarship correct?? You're getting your school for FREE. How is that not getting paid??

I took out financial aid and had academic scholarships to help pay for my college education.

I looked at current amounts for the University of IL and the University of Iowa. I am going with the highest amounts on the ranges they provided.




The University of Iowa is one of the least expensive colleges to attend in the Big 10 and the University of IL, is in the middle range according to things I saw.





Also, keep in mind that some college athletes with full rides get Room and Board paid for as well as books and supplies. The University of IL used to let students ride the bus for free. . . well when I was there anyway.



At the UofIL
Tuition and fees: $19,238 for in state and $33,380 for out of state
Books and supplies will set you back: $1,200
Room and board with 10 meals/week in the cafeteria: $10,080
Other expenses you might incur: $2,510
Total Estimated Costs: $28,204 for in state and $47,170 for out of state

At the Uof Iowa:
Tuition and fees: $7,765 for in state and $25,099 for out of state
Room and board: $8,750
Books and supplies: $1,090
Personal expenses: $2,625
Transportation: $890
Estimated total costs: $21,120 for in state and $38,454 for out of state

Let's go with the University of IL's estimated tuition since they are in the median. I know several college athletes on full scholarships who also received free clothing and apparel and shoes that were university initiated. They get free warm up clothes and work out clothes. I had to buy mine with the University logo and I'm pretty sure there wasn't a Nike logo on them. I also know people who worked in college to help pay for their schooling and sometimes it was 2 jobs. I know people who were on full ride academic scholarships who had to keep a certain GPA or they would lose their scholarship and they had a job.

What are college athletes asked to do? They are asked to go to practices, do schoolwork, perform on game days, and lead by example. They did this in high school and didn't get paid? What is different now? Now, they have the opportunity to perform well in hopes that it might turn into a professional career and subsequently, make millions of dollars.

Not all college athletes these days are doing that. They think because they are a good athlete that at the college level they are entitled to anything and everything. Who cares if someone offers them money to sign merchandise? They need the extra money.

So I ask Tim Tebow why he decided to play at the collegiac level? Was it to get paid later on for your talents as an athlete? Because technically you did. Your JOB in college was to be a football player. You were paid with a top notch education and the $28,000 you received to live and attend Florida.




Thursday, August 25, 2011

Oh, the places you'll go!!

I love Dr. Seuss. I always have. . . even when I was little.

It's weird though how things that he wrote can have such an impact as an adult as opposed to when you are 5 and learning to read.

I miss Josie soo much sometimes. It's been 2 years and there isn't a day that goes by sometimes that I just want to call her or text her and say something. I know that goes away. . . but it hasn't yet.

One of Josie's favorite quotes was "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind."

It always amazed me how in life everything always seemed to work out for Josie. I mean, minus the whole getting breast cancer at 25 and subsequently dying at 30 from it. Monday it was 2 years, and I thought about that. I wonder if things always seemed to work out because somewhere else, someone else already knows our story. And hers wasn't supposed to be that long, so that's why she loved life even before she got sick.

Of course, then you see those people like Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan and you keep thinking "Why is life working out well for them??" I digress. . .

I was going to talk about how disappointed I am in all the coverage of Kim Kardashian's wedding and it almost sickens me that she spent somewhere between $10-$20 million on it (and that's with apparently much of it donated) and was going to be making around $18 million from it and also had a wedding registry for her guests to get her a gift. Think about how many people you could have helped forgoing a gift and just asked people to donate the money for a gift to a charity??? That's what 2 of my friends did. And they don't make the big money that she does.

I always thought marriage was about being happy with the person you're supposed to marry and spend the rest of your life with and being surrounded by the people who love you the most. Yet you're forced to cut people from your wedding, so you cut your step-father's family. Like 50 of them. Nice.

Sorry, I digress again. It just irritates me how some celebrities go on and on about how charitable they are, and how you the average person should donate money, yet, look at what you just did??

Anyway, I wish that I really took to heart the things that I learned from Dr. Seuss when I was 5.

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." --I really need to remember this one. A lot. Especially with my friends moving. It makes me sad but life goes on.

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."--I'm waiting on this one. . . :) Actually, I know that I've had great days with someone that I adore and I don't want to go to sleep because then the day was over.

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."I'm 31 and I love to fly kites. . . this is nonsense really. . . but it's fun. I also like to pretend I have my own theme music now and then. . . sue me.

"I'm afraid sometimes you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win because you'll play against you." --It's sad, but I play against myself all the time. It's hard to not get down on one's self from time to time. . . it's the rising up out of it, that's the key.

"I'm glad we had the times together just to laugh and sing a song, seems like we just got started and before you know it, the times we had together were gone."

I think that's my favorite one. It makes me think of Josie the most. And really it makes me think of other friends I've lost and of friends who moved away, or of the friends I moved away from. I'm a firm believer that people don't happen into your life by chance. There's a reason, a season, a purpose. Maybe you help someone grow and maybe they helped you. Maybe you got into some trouble and learned a lesson. Maybe you got someone into trouble and taught them a lesson.

I often think how different my life would have been how I not went to college at Illinois. What my life would be like had I not moved here? I miss my family and I hate they can't just come down for lunch or supper or a Saturday shopping trip. I miss happy hour with my old friends.

There's a reason I'm here. . . I just have to find it. . .

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Awkward Moments. . .

I just have to share this because. . . I am 100% positive I am not the only one who has done this. . . and well my life is really just a long standing awkward moment.

Anyway, we're under a heat advisory because, well, it's effing hot here and with 100% humidity, you might as well just take it for what it is. . . and sweat along with everyone else.

I'm sitting here at work and all of a sudden, I smell this "onion" smell that is well very familiar to what one's armpit would smell like when your deodorant isn't quite working like it should be or you have that odor smell that is attached to the armpit of your favorite shirt. . .

So I do what any normal person does and smell my one armpit (and really I don't even have to be nonchalant about this as I work in a cubical) but the one smelled good, so I check the other, still smelling good, but there's that "onion" smell.

I decide to blurt out if anyone else smells it and sure enough my coworker decided at 10am to warm up 2 Salisbury steaks. And for some odd reason, I take that moment to share with the other 4 people in the office that I am happy it was his food and not my arm pits.

You're welcome!

I should just share this as well while I'm embarrassing myself. . . I have a HUGE crush on this ridiculously hot bartender. He's not a bartender for a full time job, just on Saturdays at this hole in the wall place by my house. Anyway, last week for the SECOND time, I mistakenly text him when I meant to text my friend Heath. BOTH times I scrolled down to an old text and texted from there. And BOTH were meant for Heath as he was staining my deck.

I was just happy I wasn't sexting anyone. Then I really would have felt awkward. . .

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Damn you Beyonce!

I always find it funny, not "haha" funny how the lyrics to a song hit you and then BAM!

Dean Cain and I haven't been friends in a long time. Basically I lost him as a friend when Josie died. The last few months she was alive, I started to notice little things. . . his lies, his dependence on me, and the fact that our friendship was one sided, with me being the one that was always giving.

I couldn't kick him off my Volleyball team this year even though I hadn't talked to him since Kickball got over with because some of the team members didn't want that. He was only a sub anyway. . . and by "sub" I mean he's only subbed once. . . the game I wasn't there. He played money to sub. My sister and I were talking about it this weekend and she said "Sometimes you have to let friends go. . .and sometimes they let you go. . . but in your case, I know it's something he's going to regret the rest of his life."

Recently, I was telling a guy friend my annoyance on how as our sub he can't get back to me when I ask him to actually sub and only gets back to me after I get a hold of another person on our team to ask him when she works with him. Then miraculously that day he gets back to me. It's not mature really. You're an adult. . . you made a commitment. . . how hard is it to respond in 24 hours?!?

Anyway. . . Beyonce's new song "Best Thing I Never Had" is starting to come on the radio now more frequently. . . and I've finally listened to the lyrics.

There was a time
I thought, that you did everything right
No lies, no wrong
Boy I, must've been outta my mind
So when I think of the time that I almost loved you
You showed your ass and I saw the real you

Which is soo true. My friend plays on a softball team with his ex, who he dated for 5+ years. She slept with one of his sport's teammates. . . numerous times. My friend had planned on proposing to her. Anyway, he said you just have to get over it and pretend he's not there. Which is easier said than done since Moon is really wanting him to be on our kickball team and went so far as to text him and ask him. I don't want someone there who can't respond to emails or texts about if he can play or not.

Thank God you blew it
Thank God I dodged the bullet
I'm so over you
So baby good looking out

I know there was a time when I was madly in love with him. I know there was this time when I thought his flaws were perfect. But it's true, when you start to see someone's annoyances, sometimes it's all you see and you can't get over them. Which is what happened to me.

I wanted you bad
I'm so through with it
Cuz honestly you turned out to be the best thing I never had
You turned out to be the best thing I never had
And I'm going to always be the best thing you never had


He's engaged now and getting married and as my Dad said "You fixed him." And he's right.


Sometimes I need to be fixed. . . :)

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Happy Birthday America!

I don't know why that every time I think about the 4th of July, Bill Pullman's words in Independence Day come to mind and I always say in my head, in his voice "We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence!"

By the way, I totally had to make sure that was Bill Pullman and not Bill Paxton. I think there's a game called Pullman or Paxton because they are in soo many movies and kind of look alike. Bill PULLMAN was in While You Were Sleeping with Sandra Bullock and Bill PAXTON was in Twister with Helen Hunt. Oh and Bill Paxton is in the HBO Show Big Love. I don't know what Bill Pullman is doing now. :)

It's weird as this is the first 4th of July in a long time that I'm not going to my parents. Five years ago I went up to H's, and we had a great time. Granted, the reason I am not going is because my friends Erin and Matt are getting married here! I'm super pumped. Please pray for no rain on Saturday. The best part about it, is that Erin's new last name and first name will officially rhyme. She'll be like Julia Goolia. . . but cooler.

I have 2 major groups of friends that I have here. The 1st one is my Friday Sand Volleyball group and are the people I first became friends with when I moved here. They are all pretty much married and were coupled up when I met them except for like a few single ones. The 2nd group is my Kickball/Softball group who I met after I had lived here a year. They were mostly all single guys and gals. That's where Matt falls in, and like a year or so later, Erin came into our friend picture. They are the first group of the singles to get married here. And coincidentally are marrying each other. It will be nice to see everyone dressed up too as we are usually playing sports or meeting out at night in dressed down attire. I guess sometimes we might be dressed up from work and meeting for happy hour, but usually we're in jeans or something.

Speaking of marrying. . . my friend Christine last weekend brought up the fact that I need to get back into dating so I can get married and have kids. She even went so far as saying that I should do online dating, and if I did, she would actually do all the leg work for me. As in, she would screen all the guys that were interested in me and then talk to them and find out more and then narrow it down to potentials. I think this sounds like an excellent idea. That's what happened the ONE time I did it. I didn't really screen the super persistent guy that was wanting to go on a date. I mean, I should have known going into the date the guy was 5'4 and not into athletics. And this would cut into the awkward "Hey you're meeting my friends" thing because she has already approved him. I think it's a Win/Win situation here.

Who knows?? I mean, I do know I have very entertaining dating stories. :)

I hope everyone has a safe and fun 4th of July!!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

If only I. . .

I am always trying ways to improve myself. Improve my well-being, my mind, etc.

I'm always working on my weight which I think every girl (and some guys) do.

However, there is one thing that I can never seem to gain:

Confidence when it comes to guys.

I can't.

And I try and try and try. If you were to meet me in person, you would never know that deep down inside, I'm a little shy. You would never know how I absolutely hate going places by myself. I hate it. It makes me absolutely nervous. But after travelling alone on an airplane for the first time, you get over that a little. I travel all the time for work alone. But I hate meeting people at bars or restaurants by myself. It gives me great anxiety. I'm always afraid they will never show up.

I've never had that happen to me either. It's just always a fear. I mean, yes, I did date a guy who would make plans with me weeks in advance, and then bail, but never at a restaurant. He was always set to pick me up. . . and then didn't. I guess it only happened twice and after that, I quit taking his advanced plans seriously. I was never abandoned as a child. Although, my Mom on 2 separate occasions did forget me at piano lessons.

Today I was at lunch with 2 of my guy friends. And they were talking about this girl who one of them referred to as a "Butter Face." Meaning she has a rocking body, but her face. . . Then we started talking about another girl they had talked about the last time we were all together and they said "well I guess she has a cute face, but she's fat."

Now, you might be thinking these guys are jerks and well, I think in a way they are. But I said "Ummm. . . I would hate to think what you guys say about me when I'm not here!" And they both said "We like you though!"

I emailed my bgf and told him the story and he said "They say those things about you because they don't think that about you. . . and neither do any guys in IL."

I cannot explain why I have zero self-confidence in the guy department. I have no idea why I feel this way about myself. I may very well be prettier in the face than I think I am. I'm chubby, no where near skinny that is or at my optimum weight. I am not someone you would look twice at if you saw me on the street. I would say I am average looking in the face. I have been told I am pretty. And yes, I see other girls and I think to myself "Well I am prettier than that girl, so why does that guy like her more than me?" And thus, probably why I feel the way I do.

Maybe part of it is that I have really pretty friends and relatives. I've always had pretty people in my life and have always felt like the ugly, fat one. And if you knew my sister, you know why I feel this way. Up until about her junior year of college, she was a size 2 and I was a size 12 my junior year of high school. My 2nd cousins were blessed with these tall, skinny blond hair jeans. I mean, really, how can one compete with that? My friends from high school, all are gorgeous and still are. It really isn't fair. I mean, Steph--you're reading this now--and you look smoking hot for having a baby a month ago. If you saw my old roommate Sarah, you'd understand too. Seriously, why don't I hang around ugly people?? I really am starting to think this is a fantastic idea.

Almost every time one of my guy friends meets a friend of mine from high school or college or sees a picture, they all say "Woah, your friend is hot! Is she single?" Every time. Luckily at this point in my life, I can honestly say "No, she's married. Just like almost every other friend of mine." ;)

Maybe my lack of self-confidence is the reason I don't notice when a guy is hitting on me. I only ever notice the weird guys. And maybe the reason I automatically make guys I meet my friends is due to my self-confidence. Or maybe it's because when I was feeling great about my body, the guy I was in love with, still didn't want me. How do I break that feeling or pattern?? Rachel yelled at me the other day when I said something about being fat and then stuck out my belly to really drive my point home in my fatness. :) And yes, I do know that eating right and working out play into the whole losing weight thing. I just apparently don't like eating right and working out at the moment.

Sorry to be all self-reflective and whatnot, but today's lunch conversation really bothered me. I am not meaning to be a Debbie Downer as I know we all have things that bother us about ourselves. We don't always look in the mirror and see what others see. And yes, I do know I have a very bubbly personality and a nice smile and guys should really fall in love with that part of me.

I know my friends didn't mean anything bad towards me when they said what they said, but when you feel that way about yourself and then your guy friends are talking about girls like that, it makes it hard.

Plus, I'm 31 and no one has swept me off of my feet, Darn it! So I can't help but wonder that maybe this is why. My Dad says it's because I'm perhaps too picky and the fact that I always have to be right. I told him to tell me a time I was wrong, and I would gladly accept that I am not always right. He couldn't tell me a time, but I had a few for him. My Mom laughed hysterically. :)

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Don't you want to stay??

Seriously, I am really happy I listen to music at work because it has made it easy finding titles to my posts.

I would like to state for the record that "You're Welcome." Mainly because I spared you guys some posts. I was going through my posts and apparently I went on a tangent of Paris Hilton after her Piers Morgan interview. And then followed that with my disgust of the View interview she apparently had. So you're welcome I never uploaded that one. :)

The other one was apparently written in December when I was feeling lovey dovey. And the opening line was "Why is it when you finally find someone that makes you laugh until it hurts, smile for no reason, brightens your day with a "hi" that you can't for the life see yourself with that person and am not even sure you're attracted to them?"

Again. . . you're welcome.



Also, I found that whole "Stats" button on my blog like 6 months ago. Yeah, I know, I really delved into the blogger functions when I started my blog. :) Anyway, it really worries me that the main thing that sends people to my blog is "I want to kill my neighbor" or "neighbour" because a) I'm pretty sure that post will not give you great directions for that and b) they are probably severely disappointed once they read the content. In a close second though is "I think I just vomited in my mouth. . ." Oh the things people apparently google!


I finally saw "Bridesmaids" and I thought it was pretty funny. I snorted like 5 times, which is usually a good sign. The funny part was that I could totally sympathize with Kristen Wiig's character. I've been in weddings like that where one person is trying to trump the other girls in the wedding as being the closest. I never tried to top the other girl, but it always cracked me up. And also felt her pain as everyone else around her is married.


I really want to see the movie "Bad Teacher." It looks awesome. I hope it doesn't disappoint!


And on a side note, I have a huge crush, and I pray that it turns into something. The more I talk to him and hang out with him, the more and more I find out how adorable he is. Then my roommate brings me back from Cloud 9 by reminding me that he said the phrase on Saturday "I'll be rolling up with my friends" and then I came back down. Randomly, he throws out gangsta phrases, and where as I often throw out "A to the izzo" on a sign off, he's doing it straight up in conversation. I usually do it to be funny because I am as far from hip hop as one might get. If that's his only flaw though, I'll take it. Because right at the moment, I see none.
I do appreciate her bringing me back to reality. It keeps me grounded.


This weekend I'm heading home for Father's Day. . . and my friend's wedding. . . and my nephew's Baptism in which I am the Godmother again. I also am picking up my friend's dog from her in laws so it saves them a 4 hour trip. I don't think I could pack anymore into a weekend.



Enjoy the beautiful weather!!!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Somewhere Else

Sorry, I couldn't think of a title and that's the song in my head. It's Toby Keith. It's a great song. :)

Anyway, it's pretty official in my life that I am now "Good Luck Chuck." I found out Friday at Happy Hour, that the guy I dated last year, the guy that was dating me and another girl at the same time and broke up with me, is engaged. To that girl. Granted, I didn't necessarily want to marry him, but still. It's a little dagger. I do want to get married. Just wondering where my Prince Charming is I guess.

All weekend my roommate referred to me as Chuck. We're very nice to each other. I told her yesterday I was thinking that I was going to quit hanging out with her and start hanging out with "ugly" people with no personality so I looked prettier and would stand out. She's pretty and has big boobs, so I think I need to increase my chances of meeting a guy, you know??


But honestly, I don't want to dwell on it. Yes, I'm old, but I want to be happy, too, and not settle. H and I talked about how I could have been married to Boatman if I really wanted to be. And pushed aside my feelings of being happy, really enjoying the other person's company, and not having good conversation. Basically she told me I made a good decision and not pursuing that one. I also brought this up with Robb and Christine on Monday night and Robb said "Oh man, the only thing good about that guy was that he bought us a round of drinks."



Anyway, on to bigger and better things in no particular order! I do use the term "better" very loosely here. . .



I feel that Reese Witherspoon and I would be best friends. I'm totally basing this off of her comment at the MTV Movie Awards which I didn't watch but heard about later. She said exactly what I think about some of the "famous" people nowadays. Plus, we also both apparently find Jake Gyllenhaal attractive.



A few weeks ago, I asked the roommie to mow the lawn when I was back in IL. She did and then one of the neighbors asked me later if I let a kid mow the lawn. I had noticed it was patchy, but sometimes the shade does some weird things. Later that day she made the comment, "Woah, that is a super bad mow job." I guess if I can't get to the lawn, I will pay the neighbor boy $20 to do it. Plus he picks up all the sticks and mulches. What a great kid! I guess he'd be a better kid if he just did it without getting paid, huh?

I hate how at the beginning of May, I thought "Man, my summer is going to be nice and relaxing and I only have one wedding." Yeah, I am trying to find a free weekend now. Booo! I will enjoy every last minute of it though.

I am dying to visit my friend Steph and baby Vinnie, but we kept going back and forth with dates and either I was busy or they were. :( But it made me think. Steph and I have been friends since the age of 3. And Vinnie and Caden are a week apart in age. It's just too funny! That should be my kid not my sister's!

I think it's funny how friendships change over time though. Or how at one time, you were almost inseparable from a person, and now, you don't even know if they still work for the same place or are dating someone but you did a year ago. But I do like how you become expectantly closer to other people, and the highlight of your day is when you hear from them. Like last night when I got a text that said "I hope your popcorn tonight was better than my popcorn at volleyball. It was terrible. . ." An out of the blue and random text yes, but earlier in the day I had told him that I hope he has fun sweating his arse off at volleyball, while I am sitting in the nice luxury of air conditioning and eating popcorn at the bar.

Or how you can be good friends with someone and not talk all that often, but it's like nothing has changed. That's what I love the most about friends. Being good friends and not needing to talk all the time and still knowing you're good. And it's those friends that you always know are there for you and you're never far from their mind. Like when they text you and tell you that they saw someone trip on the street and fall, and it made them think of you.

Happy Hump Day!

Friday, June 3, 2011

With or Without You

That's the song playing on the radio right now.

And you give yourself away, and you give, and you give, and you give yourself away. . .

I think that almost describes me sometimes. Giving myself away. I was always told I was a giver (not that kind dirty, dirty, minded people) but a giver of things in life.

Giver of Hugs, giver of smiles, giver of my time and energy. . .

My parents taught me very strong values that when I look back, I didn't realize they were inadvertently teaching me that in my adult life and in my personality. My Dad can be slightly selfish (Sorry Dad, you know it's true) but at the same time, he's one of the most giving and caring people I know. If you are a good friend of one of his good friends or a family member, he would do anything for you. He'd drive to Ohio (2 States over) and pick up my Mom's best friend's Son whose car broke down on a road trip and tow it back. Even if you're a good friend of mine and need something and my Dad has never met you, he'd do that. That's just how he is.

Sometimes I wish he hadn't have taught me that, you know?? I really want to be that mean, cranky person who people don't expect stuff from. Just once I'd like to say "Nope, sorry" and be done with it. But alas, that's not who I am, and I'll never be that overly selfish person.

Man, that wasn't even the topic I was going to write about. . . .stupid, stupid song. . .

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Shake it like a Polaroid Picture

My sister is awesome in the fact that since I have yet to be able to go home and meet my new nephew she will text me a picture every day. Sometimes I will get 3. I look forward to the picture of the day of Caden in all his adorableness.

At Christmas and in March when my nephew, Caleb, came to visit, he told me that I could just save all my hugs and kisses for the new baby as he didn't need them anymore once the baby came. Well now, he says that I can still hug and kiss him but to make sure that I still hug and kiss Caden too so he doesn't feel left out. I FINALLY am going home tomorrow after work to meet the little guy. I can't wait. I do feel bad though because my Dad took off Thursday and Friday in hopes of spending time with me, only to find out last night that I am staying with my sister tomorrow night and Thursday! Ooops!

My friend Darren gets married on Saturday. I'm super excited for him but I am not excited to be there without my buffer Steph. Steph can attest to the amount that she and I get picked on average by our guy friends from high school. However, without her there, I will get the brunt of everything. Maybe they will just start picking on their wives?!?

I survived Erin's Bachelorette Party last weekend in Kansas City. She made us these awesome shirts for the Royals/Cardinals game that said Team Erin on the front and the Erin's Final Fling in a baseball on the back. Somehow on the way there, we got separated from Erin's car, so everyone was asking us who Erin was. Then apparently when Erin was walking into the game, with the remaining 3 of the party, people were telling her that we already walked in! haha!

We could not have asked for a better day for a baseball game. It was gorgeous! And the Cardinals won, so that's really what is important. I have no idea why I didn't get up and walk around the stadium either as it was my first time there. I guess I just need to go back there and do that.

I knew half of the party people this weekend, which was nice. It sucks to only know the bride going into these things and maybe one person. Erin's coworker was that person, and she said if we didn't like her, she was just going to drink more and make us like her! haha! Most of Erin's friends I had heard stories about at some point, so I felt like I knew them. It was nice to meet them in person though and put a face with a name.

I did feel bad for Erin as she wasn't near as drunk as I think she should have been. She agreed with that earlier in the night so she started doing shots. . . I'm not sure if she got more drunk or not! The weird thing about Erin is that she is marrying one of my guy friends. And Erin and I have talked about how I just assume they don't do anything sexual as that's what I like to think since it's 2 of my friends. She was really surprised when I bought her 2 nighties and some sexy underwear. It's funny when 2 friends get together because you know separately they did stuff with other people, it just becomes awkward I guess when you think about them together doing stuff. . . Anyone else feel this way??

It's like my Grandpa saying today that the reason for my Dad's Doctor Appointment was to refill his Viagra prescription. Thanks Gramps!

I also couldn't believe how many hot, tall guys are in Kansas City. I don't know if they were just in town for the game or not, but DAMN! There were some hotties for sure! I also met a guy from Humoldt who knew my cousins. He graduated in 2001. I should have written his name down as 1) He was cute and 2) I can't even remember to tell my cousins the guy's name. I did ask if he lived here now in hopes I might run into him again out, but alas, he lives in CR. I am sure with enough Facebook stalking I could find him. . .but I only save that for special people.

Speaking of Facebook Stalking, I was goofing off on there and this girl came up on the side as someone I might know. I clicked on her and was like "I don't know her, but the name sounded familiar." Come to find out she's one of my guy friends exes. That's why her name sounded familiar. I also realize there is no way I could ever date this guy friend as I have met several of the girl's he dates, and they apparently all have the prerequisite of being gorgeous.

My friend Meghan finally had her baby! I have yet to see a picture, but I can only imagine how adorable he is!

I am not sure if you're keeping track, but my rambling almost goes in a circle. Much like the stories I tell in person on a regular basis. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby and the baby carriage!

And then the house. . . A year ago, I closed on my house! I can't believe it's been a year. I finally got my plants planted. I had to buy dirt (seriously, I paid money for DIRT!) and some stuff that supposedly keeps ground squirrels away. It better. I hate those things, and they ate my tomato plants last year! Bastards!

I know have a bunch more landscaping stuff to do, but I need help doing it. I'm glad I live 6 blocks from my friend Jeff. He likes to help a damsel in distress, and I really don't mind him wanting to help. I'm sure somewhere there's a trade off, but last time he snaked my drain, I bought him beer and gave him banana bread, and he ended up forgetting it at my house. Sucks for him! :)

Have a great week!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Dreams, schemes, and other things

I don't know why, but lately, I have had some weird dreams. And most of them have all involved me getting married or in love. Which is something that is far from my real life. I do have a lot of friends getting married in the upcoming months, so maybe that's why.


I know that I want to be married someday and really thought it would be before now, but life takes these unexpected turns. Sometimes you have to follow the road you're headed down and when something else comes down it, I guess that's when you take another turn.



The latest dream had me trying to find my soon to be husband the day of our wedding. And do you know where he was at?? Playing basketball with the NBA team he is on, and they were practicing in my high school gym. He said "Wait isn't it bad luck for me to see you before the wedding?" And I said "Isn't it bad luck to be late for your wedding??" I wasn't in my wedding dress yet, so I guess that's good. We leave the gym and are now in a super big hurry trying to make it to the church. But apparently school is still in session because the bell rings and all of these kids are in the hallway. Apparently the hallways in my high school were like 2 miles long too. I'm throwing elbows shouting "Let me through!" as we're trying to walk the opposite direction they seem to be going. It was tough. Finally we get out of the high school.


That's all I remember now. I remembered a lot more when I woke up but now that's all I can tell you about it. Sorry. I know you're really disappointed.


Now the creepy part about my next dream was that the one guy that was in it is good friends with my friend Jamie. He and I are not friends. In my dream on Thursday, Dustin was trying to hit on me in my dream and Jamie was telling me to stay far away from him. That was the gist of the dream.


Now in REAL life on Saturday I was helping my Aunt at an art show at a huge Garden and Landscape Center. I keep looking at the guy and I'm like that's weird. . . that guy looks just like Dustin. I mean, almost identical. It's bugging me soo much and he keeps looking at me like he should know me too. So after about 2 hours, I finally go up to him and say "Dustin??" It was him. The weirder part is that later Rach (my roommie) comes there with her Mom and she says "My friend Dustin works here. I just talked to him!" And I said "I KNOW Dustin too!" How weird is that though that he was in my dream Thursday night, and I run into him on Saturday?!?


Now the funny part is that Dustin and Rachel knew each other in college and Dustin and Jamie have known each other for maybe 4 years which would coincide with Rachel knowing him. How Jamie and Rachel have never met through him is beyond me. The funny part is that Rachel talks about her friend Dustin, and they played volleyball on Thursdays together this winter. The sad part is that this is the 4th person that Rachel and I both know but never knew we both knew that person until we've either ran into them or like they met one of us out. It's weird really. But Rachel and I have known each other for 6 years so it's bound to happen I guess, even if she IS 6 years younger than myself.


My latest scheme really isn't so much a "scheme" as it is, let's slightly stalk a hot guy. And I'm not really stalking him but he happens to bartend on Saturdays at my and my roommie's favorite bars which is also really close to our house. And it's also not my fault that he told me that he works every Saturday and told me his schedule. It is my fault that my roommie and I make sure to go up on Saturdays during his work hours though to grab a drink. I mean, we would anyway, but sometimes we go earlier or later than we normally would just to see him.


The last 3 Saturdays that I've been up there during his shift, I drink for free. Me and whatever girl is with me. He charged my guy friend that was with us but it was like $5, and Neil had like 3 beers, and I don't know how many shots. Now I'm not talking a drink here or there. I'm talking like 3 hours+ of drinking for free. Last Saturday it was just a Bloody Mary and a beer back. But the other 2 was all night. One Saturday, I couldn't even tell you what I drank but I'm pretty sure it was a ton based on how I felt Sunday morning. I did at least 4 shots. And I know for a fact I drank a Bloody Mary and beer back, 2 Captain and Diets, and not sure how many beers. Wait, now what I type what I drank on that drinking binge, it could have easily been what I drank.


But not the point I'm making. . . I keep drinking for free lately. So. . . thinking this might be a good sign, and the fact I do have his number, I texted him on Sunday to tell him that I was making banana bread and to let me know if he wanted some. He always tells me to stop by his house (he lives close to me and he told me where he lived), and so I thought this would be a good step. I didn't want to just stop by. I want to stop by with a purpose. But alas, he never responded. While I am super disappointed, I am really impressed with myself to do that! Especially to a guy I am not friends with but for someone who I know a lot about since he tells me a lot about himself.




My friend Steph had her baby. He is adorable. I can't believe I might not see him though until July. I don't know if I can wait that long. That's the sucky part about living soo far away.


Meghan still hasn't had Gavin. So we wait. . .


But this guy decided he would come into this world on Friday the 13th. :) Well he didn't decide, but my sister's doctor decided she would need to be induced on Friday if she didn't have him before then. He was 8lbs, 4oz and 19 inches long. And it was torture for me because he didn't have a name for over 24hours! If you knew my sister, you would understand why this is weird. They couldn't decide on names so they waited until he was born. Caden James--your aunt cannot wait to squeeze you!






Again, it sucks because I couldn't be there to see him come into this world. But my Mom sent me a picture which I'm pretty sure was right after my sister gave birth so it was like I was there. Thanks Mom. I'll get to meet him in 8 days. I'm not counting or anything. He definitely looks just like his big brother did when he was a baby. So at least he's predestined for cuteness!


Have a great week everyone!








Friday, May 6, 2011

Back into the Swing of things. . .literally. . .

Well. . . I was able to pick my arm up enough to bat. . . so that was good. . . whether I batted well or not is a different story. But according to my favorite Umpire Duane. . . it was a PRACTICE game. ;)

I didn't realize how much I love softball until last night. And maybe it's not necessarily softball but the routine that softball has for us.

It was going to Pal Joey's before the game and the owner saying "HEY! It's soo good to see you again! Bud Light??" And then when we left I waved goodbye and he came out and hugged me and said not to be a stranger. I got a hug. A HUG. haha! We've been going there before and sometimes after games for the last 4 years, so he should remember us. My Father reading this is going to ask if I drop some serious cash there during the summer, but he's been with us there, so I guess he should know the answer to that question. And in case you other folks are wondering, I never drink more than 1 or 2 beers before softball because it's softball and I really need as quick of reflexes as possible as to not get jacked in the face!

Then we get to the field and our favorite Ump Duane gave me a high five and side hug. Then we talked about how awesome my friend Erin who works with him is. . . :) And Erin--he told me what a great time it was travelling with you to San Antonio. I didn't tell him how you told me he was all spiffed up for travel and you were travelling basically in your PJs for your 6am flight.

I think it's the comradery that softball brings too. Most of the teams have been playing out there as long as we have. And other friends play out there at the same time, too, so you just see so many friends and acquaintances. It's just nice. It just feels like home.

Also, Happy Mother's Day to all those Mother's out there! My sister is 50% effaced and 3cm dilated at the moment. She wants to hold off until after Mother's Day and would like him on the 10th-my Grandma Mona's birthday.

My friend Steph is having a C-Section today for her little boy too. She was hoping to go natural, but the baby's shoulders are too big. :(

Meghan is also due any day. I picked today for her in the pool. . . let's hope! :)

My funny Mom story is the call I got on Wednesday morning. I left a message on Tues night asking if we should send my sister a big bouquet of flowers for not only Mother's Day but for Teacher Appreciation week as well. She agreed and then said she had a dilemma and didn't know how to bring it up to me. I asked what it was and well. . . she wants me to quit sending her cards. She can't get herself to throw them away since they are usually sweet or if they are funny, I write something sweet in them, and she just has too many now and just doesn't know where to put them.

Ooh Mommy, I LOVE YOU! :)

Happy Friday and have a glorious weekend!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

You know you're old when. . .

Well. . . it happened.

I think I've officially become old. And so have my friends. I don't know when it happened. It just did. Apparently as you age, you don't spring back like you used to.

Case in point:

Tuesday night when my friend and I were playing in the monthly euchre tournament. He looks at me at one point, points to his watch and says "It's your bedtime." I laughed, and then realized, Holy Cow, I AM always in bed by 10pm! I may not be asleep yet, but I am in bed. We were one game away from being crowned Champions and were ousted at 11pm. The tournament has never really ever lasted past 10:30, let alone still one more game to play at 11pm! I think there were just some super slow players. I tried to make him feel better by texting him afterwards and telling him how I had to stop and get gas on the way home, and his text reply was "Nice try. I'm still way past my bedtime but I had fun with you!" Then I felt even worse as last night a group of us were getting together to play sand volleyball at 6:30pm, and he texted me at 9pm to tell me he just woke up from his cat nap he took after work. Ooops!!!

So then last night happens. I had to teach Pilates at 5, then was playing sand volleyball at 6:30pm, and then a random girl's night at 7:30pm. Harmless right??

Well Kathy decided since it was nice out we should walk instead of me making her do Pilates. I agreed. Then I went early to volleyball and did a pick up game with some people at 6. Then my friends get there, who I was meeting, and all decide that we should play 3s and 4s instead of 6s. I'm not sure if anyone realizes how much more energy it takes to play 4s. And for some reason I decided to try serving overhand to see if I could. And I was doing pretty good. I was impressed since I haven't played volleyball since October. I also did a "burpie" in the sand. A "burpie" or whatever else it may be called is when you jump straight up in the air, squat, then do a push up. In case you missed it. . . I did it in the SAND. Not what you would call a very secure place to fall down and not move on you. I apparently have also become more stupid in my old age. :)

Fast forward to the pub right after volleyball, where after sitting for an hour, I get up to use the loo and BAM. My quads feel like lead. So I do what any other normal person would do and take long steps with pauses to stretch them out. Completely normal and unattention getting. Also, at the current moment, I'm a little unsure if I'll be able to raise my arm to bat or catch anything at my softball game at 9 tonight.

At the pub (I use pub since it's a bar that serves really awesome English fare food), we for some reason were pretty quiet and tame for a Girl's night. We knew things were going downhill when we started talking Politics. GASP! Politics?? At Girl's Night? I mean, there really is something wrong. We were all pretty tired too but just didn't know why. Then it dawned on us: All other Girl's Nights are on Thursdays. We apparently are too tired on Wednesdays to be peppy and fun! I kept trying to dance to whatever music was on while I was in my chair to no avail.

What made it even more funny was that when Jarrod and Britt got there, Jarrod turned to Britt and said "Ummm. . . I'm not sure what happened, but they are usually a lot more entertaining than this!" haha! I think Britt was pretty bummed. I also find it cute that Britt and Jarrod had a bro-date because their ladies were out. However, Britt went to one theater while Jarrod was waiting for him at the other. Now, keep in mind, they discussed in email which one they were going to. . . and Britt went to the wrong one. We were laughing. Then we asked if they sat by each other because a lot of guys when going to a movie never sit by each other. . . and well. . . they didn't. There was totally a seat in between them.

This also reminds me of a hilarious story that my friend Larry tells about a co-worker. Larry is openly gay. Well, he and this co-worker make plans to go to dinner after work and then to see a movie. The co-worker, another male, says that he'll just meet Larry at the movie after they finish dinner. Well, when Larry gets there, he can't find his co-worker. He calls him and he says "Oh, yeah, I just went ahead and got my ticket. I'm in the theater." So Larry goes into the theater, grabs some popcorn, and finds his co-worker. Well half way through the movie, the co-worker says he has to use the restroom. Larry waits and waits and the co-worker never comes back. Then when the movie is over, Larry sees the co-worker like 3 rows ahead! He didn't even talk to him on the way out or apologize or anything. Hilarious. Maybe you have to have Larry retell the story, but trust me, it was funny! And having met the co-worker. . . even more hilarious.

Okay, back to me being old. Well when 10pm hits and I'm massively yawning, we disbanded. On Girl's Night! Usually with girl's night we say things like "We're going to take it easy tonight" or "Let's just have a few drinks" and the next thing you know it's 12am and you've done like 3 shots and really DO need to go home. We determined that we can't do Girl's Night on Wednesdays anymore since apparently "Hump Day" to us means we need to be in bed early and clearly no alcohol induced humping will be going on because of the crazy shenanigans we have gotten ourselves into.

Happy soon to be the Weekend! :)

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Sooo. .. yeah. . .

I'm just going to say it. . . and well. . . I'm not going to apologize. . .

Donald Trump would make a HORRIBLE President.

Okay, glad we got that out of the way. I'm sorry for who I offended.

Let's get back to more important issues such as things that I've been thinking about and my new random dream.

First of all, I got to thinking about this after a few conversations with some friends and family. I also wanted to state for the record how awesome my friends and family are. I really couldn't ask for better people in my life. Well some of them have been sucky lately, but they don't read this blog and really I am not sure if they are even friends.

But this is the funny situation that came up this weekend that got me thinking:

What happens when your friend(s) keep talking up how awesome someone is and then you meet them and all you're thinking about is "well they seem nice, but not near as cool or awesome as you keep saying they are."

One of my friends had a friend in town this weekend, and I told her awesome he was. And she said "Right?? Whew! Glad you liked him!" She was actually worried I might not. And as my friend Emily said "For an engineer you have an awesome personality. I say this because my brother is one and well. . .it's lacking." haha!

But it's funny when you meet your friends' friends or are introduced in group settings and whatnot. I actually have a "friend" who I think is just one of the most awkward people to talk to, and I can't figure out if I'm the only person they are awkward around. But the thing is, no one and I mean NO ONE has ever said anything to me about it. I've introduced the person to other people too, and I'm not sure if no one else has noticed it or just afraid to say anything. I mean, it's to the point where it's just been soo awkward to talk to this person, that I never really ask this person to hang out one on one for this reason. The person is nice and seems cool, just it's hard to carry on a conversation. And I can talk to anyone. ANYONE. I'm curious to the emails now I might get about this!

As for my dream. . . Again "I COPYRIGHT THIS!" I seriously need to figure out how to do that! haha!

Well my dreamed started off in the land of bliss. I was dating this great guy who looked a lot like Josh Radnor (Ted on HIMYM) and in the dream I seemed madly in love. But then somewhere (and where I am not sure) I was all of a sudden betrothed to Topher Grace (Eric from That 70s Show). I don't know if it was a green card thing or a set-up thing but all of a sudden I was planning my wedding to this guy that I did not love. And Josh kept telling me how much he loved me and wished things could be different but there wasn't anything I could do to not marry Topher. The wedding happens which reminded me much like Muriel's Wedding but neither the groom nor I were happy to be getting married. We fake our way through the wedding reception and try very hard to act in love. Then by the time I wake up we end up in love. Not sure the time span that passed or not. . . but WEIRD.

I had some other random stuff, but it has left me now.

Happy Tuesday!

Monday, May 2, 2011

I apologize. . .

I do hate to get political on my blog and all, but I need to get this off my chest:

I highly doubt the killing of Osama bin Laden was a political move by the president because re-elections are coming up soon. I hate that some people are soo against the president that they would even think that.

If that was the case, don't you think that instead of showing his birth certificate, the president would have just killed him and not even worried about getting his birth certificate out of the storage facility? He could have just made people forget all about the birth certificate by killing him right then, don't you think?!? Or upping up when they killed him and not shown his birth certificate at all? This was a strategic move by the military.

They have been trying to find and kill Osama since 1998 or something like that. 1998.


If we are going to talk politics, let's talk about how gas prices all of a sudden dramatically dropped right before the presidential elections. You don't think that was a political move in favor of anyone???

While it was probably politically based to say KILL a terrorist, I guess it was more of a thing that say needed to be done?!?

I'm neither Republican or Democrat (although I do lean more liberal). I vote for people who I feel will do the best job. I have that right because there are awesome people (like my Grandpa, my Dad, my uncles, my cousins, my friends, my friend's brothers) who have fought for that right. There are people who have laid down their lives so that we have the right to that freedom. And these brave soldiers just killed someone who killed Americans on American soil who did nothing wrong but go to work on those days.

Reasons why I just laugh at my life . . .

Well I've realized that I can only just sit back and laugh at my life now. LAUGH. My roommate and I did that all this weekend although we determined my laugh sounded less happy and more creepy psycho killer, so I guess I need to work on the laugh track.

I also have pinpointed when my life started to just be funny. Not the "haha" funny but the "omg if I don't laugh I might just start crying all the time and then who wants to be around that" funny. It was when my work computer crashed and I lost 2 years worth of everything.

2 weeks ago I went to get an oil change and my tires balanced and rotated. Well that's when I found out that the last people who rotated my tires, stripped my lug nuts and thus they couldn't get them off. They spent 30 minutes trying to get them off. Step in my "knight in shining armour" who is my friend's husband who is also a mechanic. I call him and he says "Don't go to a tire place, I should be able to do that and yes you'll be able to drive back to IL."

Well as I mentioned last week, my check engine light started flashing. Here comes Todd to the rescue to look at my car. Well on Friday I started to notice this burnt rubber smell which I know isn't good, but Todd's coming to look at my car so I don't really worry. After he checks my car, he says "Don't drive this unless it's an emergency until I can fix it. It's misfiring." We switch cars on Saturday, and well what we thought was wrong was just the tip of the iceberg. But luckily, we buy parts and bless his heart, he spends 10.5 hours on Sunday fixing it. So this morning, we were just going to switch cars but alas he said there's another misfiring in a new cylinder. Awesome. I have no idea what this would have cost going to a dealership to fix, but I was buying parts on his discount, so it's saving me some dough. I don't know what he's going to charge me for labor but I do know he always under charges me.

Anyway, on Saturday morning I also found out Dean is engaged. And right after that I started shaking and then went for a 4-mile run. And I should state. . . I almost died on my run. I ran until I thought my legs were going to quit. . . walked. . . and ran some more. I was really down on Saturday. Then was completely fine on Sunday. I shouldn't be surprised either. I mean, he hasn't talked to me since Kickball ended in October. I wrote him a friend break-up email in December that he never responded to. This news shouldn't be a surprise. I never did cry either. I think the main reason I was upset is because well as my Dad said "You fixed him. He had soo many problems, and you fixed him." And he's right. He had a crap ton of issues and I was always there, fixing them. Maybe I'm a fixer. But alas, I'm not near as sad as I thought I would be on Saturday. Dan always stated that he had me on the "hook" and I guess he was right. :) Thanks Dan!

I'm pretty sure the reason he quit talking to me was because of her, but I don't 100% know for sure. I guess (and as I've said numerous times on my blog) not everyone can have as awesome of a wife/girlfriend as my friend Wyatt's wife Kendra. She also reads the blog now and I know I've told her, but I appreciate her awesomeness more than she'll ever know. You want to be happy for people when something awesome like that happens, but I can't be happy because I feel like I've lost a friend. The sad part is this is not the only other guy friend where I can't be happy he's engaged. With the other friend, and it's just not me, he became different. And well, I'm not invited to his wedding either, so maybe that's for the best, since I'm not all that happy for him. But I'm not the only friend who feels this way either, so. . .

On a happy note, my sister is about ready to Pop! I love it. Also in the next few days, Megs and Steph are having their babies. Megs said she was still "baking" as of Friday. Love it! Which also means I lost the bet for when she was going be having Gavin. Oh well!

My nephew also lost his first tooth. Why does he have to grow up?!? I forgot to ask my sister what the going rate was for the Tooth Fairy now. I'll have to call and ask him today. I didn't get to go to his Church Program either yesterday but he did sing me one of the songs. Soo cute!

Happy Monday! It's starting to get warmer! WAHOOOO!!!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Tsk. . . Tsk. . .

I had a pretty bad Monday. It just didn't start out well. The plumber was supposed to be at my house at 7:30am and didn't get there until after 8:30. Why?? They put it on the main schedule but not on the individual technician's schedule. Luckily, it wasn't anything major and my home warranty should cover it. Ooh yeah!

Then my check engine light came on as I was heading back to work at Lunch. But it didn't just come on and stay. . . it proceeded to blink. That is not a good thing. Luckily, my friend's a mechanic and loves to work on my car. "Loves" might be a strong word, but he does like saving me money when he can. The only down side is that now I can't drive to see my Gramps on Saturday.

So today I'm at lunch with my friend Sarah and we were talking about the whirlwind that has become my life lately.

I actually inadvertently know someone that was killed in the random attack in Afghanistan yesterday. This family is going through so much right now too with cancer and then to have their son die. :(

And then my friend Jenna's husband's brother-in-law died in the tornadoes last night in Alabama. They are on their way now down there.

Horrible!

It's always weird to read the paper and see the bad things on the news and feel soo happy that you're not affected by it. And then to know people personally who are affected by it is a different story. I feel so much for them. Soo much! Please keep them in your thoughts.

Anyway, I digress. . . So Sarah and I are talking and she says "I didn't know you were having a bad day on Monday, you weren't in a bad mood at all!" And I said, "Well, lately my life has just been just one bad day, and I'm really trying to just move on from it."

Cut to 5 minutes later we are walking in the skywalk and I nail my elbow on the window pane. I mean NAIL it. We both just start laughing. . . because really. . . that's all I can do at this point.

Laugh.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

You're Welcome

I apologize in advance for anything that may be stuck in your head after you read this.

For some reason yesterday. . . the song montages running through my head, had no rhyme or reason. And then of course I try to think about why all of a sudden the little man in my head, would go to the file cabinet in my brain and pull out the 8-Track to specific songs and play them.

And am I the only one who pictures someone doing that?? Anyway. . .

I was sitting there working on reports when all of a sudden this came into my head:

You take the Good
You take the Bad
You take them both
And there you have the Facts of Life.
The Facts of Life.
When the world never seems
To be living up to your dreams
And suddenly you're finding out the Facts of Life are all about you.
All about you. . . .

Lyrics are missing but that's all that was running through my head. So then I get to thinking that man, that is soo true. Thank you Alan Thicke. Thank you. Side note: Alan Thicke from Growing Pains wrote the theme songs to the Facts of Life AND Diff'rent Strokes in case you didn't know that. . .but really who would???

My neighbor growing up who was like a Grandma passed away on Friday morning. I was supposed to stop and see her on Friday morning as well. . . about 3 hours after she passed. We got the call at 7am. I was happy to be home with my family when that happened. I was super sad though because I didn't get to say Goodbye. My parents and my sister did and told her that I was thinking about her and appreciated all that she had done for me through the years. We were all going to go on Friday but as her condition worsened, they all went Monday. And all of them were glad they did.

Also found out from my sister and my parents that apparently I don't handle death well. And they really worry about telling me people have died. Could you guys not tell that from when my friend died?? I stopped to see Ruth at Christmas, so I didn't have as much guilt when she died I guess as I could have been so I wasn't as upset as they expected me. And I think I handled both Grandmas and my Grandpa R's passing very well. I mean, yes, I got sad and cry, but I moved on. I do know Josie's has been harder to move on from. And really for the Age of 31, I have experience death a little too much for my age and I don't like it one bit! And I do know for awhile I will be near inconsolable when my Gramps dies. I spend almost every Saturday with him. It will be hard.

The other song:

Drowning deep inside your water
Drowning deep inside your sound

Love me Faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drowning Deep inside your water
Drowning deep inside your sound

It's Love and Memories from OAR. Not sure why that was in my head either. It was only the chorus. Maybe it's because I feel somewhat abandoned lately. A few of the guys that I used to be super close to and who were there for me all the time just sort of disappeared. I am really starting to think one of them was just wanting to get in my pants. I apologize for the bluntness for any relatives that read that. . .

But the other one really makes me sad. Scratch that. . . I guess more shocked. We really haven't talked since December. We used to talk all the time. Whenever I was back home, he always seemed to go out of his way to see me, even when no one else did. We were close. And then I found out Friday, that I didn't get invited to his wedding when I was out with our mutual friends. The mutual friends who are friends with him because of me. He used to drive once a year to Iowa to come visit me. But apparently driving 5.5 hours to see someone on a yearly basis doesn't mean you're good enough friends to invite to your wedding. Now, I was invited to his first wedding that got called off 4 months before. I know this because I was going to a Cardinal's game that next day and had to make sure when the wedding for sure was. His response to me asking when his wedding was and if I was invited so I could make the plans for that were "You're one of my good friends, of course you're invited! It wouldn't be the same without you!" And now, 3 years later. . . not invited to his wedding. I do know that I've only met his future wife a few times. But still. I've gone to a few friends weddings where the weddings were the first time I'd met the husbands because we all live soo far apart.

I think our mutual friends are more upset with it than me though. And I feel like I should be more upset with it. More angry. But I guess for me, it's going to take more energy to be angry so I'm just not going to worry about it. And I do understand weddings are hard because you only have a set amount of money and can only invite a certain amount of people. It's hard to make a guest list and you have to add and subtract people and whatnot. I've had to help a few friends with the guest list when they asked me who they should or shouldn't invite just because they weren't sure. And I guess my answer was "if you're questioning it, maybe you shouldn't invite them?" There were a few friends from high school whose weddings I wasn't invited to and I still hang out with and keep in touch with sporadically. I wasn't upset. I realize I live far away now and maybe it's just easier to not invite the person who has to travel far and who might not come.

The last song I had was:

Gone, let it wash away the best I had
Gone and when I disappear
Don't expect me back
Don't expect me back

Matt Nathanson--Gone.

Apparently in my mind I'm letting someone go. . .just not sure who though. . .

I should also state it was not the WHOLE song running through my head. . . just those tidbits of the song. . . over and over. . .

Also, for those keeping track, I realized that my roommate and I do have an issue. And it's pretty bad. She. . . She. . . it hurts to say it right now really. . . but. . . I'll just say it. . . she hates Reba McEntire. I love Reba. Always have loved her. It's hard. We couldn't watch the CMAs because she was hosting. And Toby Keith is like a close 2nd of Country Artists she doesn't like either. It hurts because I enjoy both of them as artists. So I guess Sarah will always be the #1 Roommie since we both liked Reba. And can belt out "Fancy". . .or some other Reba tune. . . while we danced around the apartment. :)