Rants and Raves for today. . .

I really have a problem with this. Hey Kevin Federline, it's called Baby Gap and you can buy jeans for sometimes under $10 when you catch the sales-$30 if you're paying full price. He said he's wanting to cut money. Buy nice quality jeans at a cheaper price. Or Gasp! Sales clothes. My friend Emily and I went to one of those designer stores that carry the brands that the stars wear and whatnot. And you know what?!? She bought a $200 pair of Seven jeans for $70. Worth the sale. And she was still kicking herself for spending $70 but they did look really great on her. If you're really wanting to save money, it's worth it! Now don't get me wrong, I am like any girl where I do love to shop, but I also try and always buy things on sale, because after working in retail I know that they mark it up somewhere between 50-100% depending on where you shop. So if you're buying something at 70% you can almost guarantee the store is breaking even. I hardly ever buy anything full price because I know I can usually buy it cheaper a month later. Unless of course I am in a pinch and need a dress and can't find one on sale. . . I mean, there are always exceptions to the rule.

I'm pretty sure my employees hate me. I've been basically telling them for 7 months they are not doing their job like they should. I said it again yesterday and was told that I was hurting one person's pride. Now if it was me and my boss (Who may I mention also did my job for a year and a half) was telling me that I wasn't really doing my job and it wasn't acceptable, I would step up my game. But no, this has not happened at all. I just keep telling them over, and over, and over they are not doing their job like they should. Even when I say "hey, you need to read the things I give you" I get "Quit micro-managing me!" Yes. I cannot make this up. I let them leave early on Fridays for most of the summer and sometimes on nice days during the week. But they sass me whenever I correct them in their job. And seeing as I did twice as much work as they did when I did their job, and they make more money than I did, it really pisses me off. How do I know they aren't doing as much work, when I took over as boss, I now currently do some of the job I did when I did their job. Yep. I suck.

I think that's enough complaining. I am pretty sure I am going to lay down the law with them come March when I find out if we all still have a job in July. Then I will say "Shape up or ship out, I'm sick of your attitudes and there are enough people looking for jobs right now."

I'm really thankful for my friends right now. Even if they don't entirely realize what all I'm going through.

I'm also really glad I have the family I do. And I am sad that my parents, sister, brother-in-law, and nephew miss me soo much though. If I could be two places at once, I would!

I'm thankful that Josie's liver is still functioning normally which just means I have more time with her. Now if only they could cure and get rid of those angry little cancer skittles. I am also super happy that I will see her in almost two weeks. I don't think they will get here fast enough.

I realize I love anything that involves Mexican food. I have a wrap addiction as well. I will get any sandwich in a wrap at any time. I think the wrap addiction is a result of the Mexican food liking. Not sure. Maybe I just like tortillas. Now what to get for lunch?!?

I also love pudding. And yogurt. And cake. I love cake. Is cake good to eat for lunch? Not probably a good thing to eat on the diet. Stupid gain of 10lbs in the last 3 months or so! STUPID.

Have a great Thursday! And just think. . . it's almost Friday. WAHOO! My friend Emily is turning 30. I'm glad I am not her. . . but will be helping her celebrate by doing lots of shots.

I saw the bus, but I did not jump in front of it. . .

I wish I could tell you all what I have been up to in the last couple of weeks. But I cannot.

My friend actually told me that had she not gotten an email from me, she would have thought, after reading my last 2 posts that I might actually be in the hospital or worse. I am not. I have somewhat survived. I got a cold though while at home, so that kind of sucked. I am glad that my body decided to NOT get the bad cold while I was busy working on that proposal. Thank you body. I now have taken my 2nd sick day this year. Which is the 2nd sick day I have taken the ENTIRE 4 years I have worked here. Scary, huh?!? I need to take more sick days.

I am trying to think what I have learned in the last couple of weeks.

#1 My mom and her sister look exactly alike.

They actually have identical sweat suits. And they bought them in different states at different times. Actually my sister and me bought this for my mom and D$ picked this out for her mom. haha!

#2 My nephew is still adorable.

I added my Dad so he wasn't left out.

#3 Guys are still confusing.

My two cases: Dean broke up with his girlfriend and didn't tell me until I asked what he was getting her for Valentine's Day. Yet, he called me that day to tell me about his 6-month review at his new job but couldn't call me when he broke up with his girlfriend 4 days earlier?!? Dan said that's normal guy stuff. I disagree. I had a friend tell me by text that he thought he was back on the market a couple of weeks ago. And we aren't near as close of friends as Dean and I are.

Wine Rep last night told my friend who was in town last night that he was "waiting for me to propose to him." Yep. I just don't get him nor understand him and his touchy-ness for me. If you don't want to date me, Don't call me "sweetie" and kiss the top of my head from behind when you leave me.

#4 I find out by March 30th if we won the proposal and I may or may not have a job come July 1st. This basically means my life as I know it will change FOREVER. I am not sure if I can handle knowing that in a month. I guess whatever will be, will be.

#5 I still loathe Paris Hilton

#6 My friend actually made the comment to me when I hadn't seen him in a while that perhaps I should stalk him on Facebook to see what he's been up to.

#7 Bachelorette Parties are not NEAR as much fun when you have a cold and can't drink as much. And everyone else is WAY drunk. And the Maid of Honor is Bitchy. And you may or may not have wanted to punch her in the face many times.

Would you like some cheese with that wine??

For starters, I'd like to say "Happy Birthday" to Abe Lincoln.

Or in the Princess Bride "Hey Blinkin!" --if you didn't get that reference you need to watch that movie.

Now I need to complain for about 5 minutes or however long it takes me to write this. I think I might be broken. I think the stress of my life and job finally cracked me. And I'm not joking. I knew something wasn't right when I started crying for no apparent reason. But I wasn't at home. I was in public. At the Hallmark store.

You know something is wrong when you are at the Hallmark Store and you start crying. You only went there to get a birthday card. Then you start reading other cards. Darn you Fresh Ink for being so funny and sweet. . . and then the tears start. Just out of the corner of your eye. Then you start looking at other cards. They're funny but then you aren't really laughing and the tears start more. And then you have to go and checkout with the 4 cards you want to get and your eyeliner is running because you couldn't control it and can't find a Kleenex and you're wearing white, so you can't wipe it on your sleeve. And you're pretty sure the girl at the counter is looking all funny at you thinking "She only bought happy cards why is she crying?!?"

I get into my car and text some people. Then the water works REALLY start. My friend Kattie called after she got out of class to say "Hey I told you not to read the Valentine's Day cards" and I tell her I wasn't anywhere near them. Then she's like "Do you need me to come over?" I don't know what's wrong. All I know is that I am broken.

And then today the guy in my office building that I always talk sports with and occasionally about weekend plans asks how I'm doing. And I say "Oh good. Okay." And he said "Really?!?" all concerned like. And I said "Yeah. I'm just tired." He then tells me "Well you don't seem it. You've kind of lost that sparkle you normally have."

WHAT?!? I've lost my sparkle? I didn't think that was possible. Do people just lose that in a week's time? And I'm pretty sure if it isn't back tomorrow when I go home, I will worry my parents and sister to no end. Maybe it will come back tomorrow.

But I guess until then, I'll just be broken. Does anyone have any glue?

Brought to you by the letter 'Q'. . .

I don't know why I chose 'Q' but I think it rarely gets enough street cred. Don't worry. I have no idea what I mean either. . .

Anyway after my craptastic week last week, I'm thinking it could only go up. Right?!? I also find it rather hilarious that when you're always the "up" person in a friendship, that people can't take it when you're the "down" person. I think my sister said "You're not allowed to have a mental breakdown, who would everyone else turn to?d" I simply answered that if I'm not allowed to have a mental breakdown, then everyone would probably have to visit me in jail because I think I could easily be the person that goes on a killing spree if to the absolute breaking point. And I was darn near close to it on Monday and again on Thursday. Maybe it's because I hold everything in. . . I don't know. I do know that I often have dreams where I yell at people for being complete idiots but rarely do it in real life.

My friends Kattie and Suz kidnapped me on Thursday night to go out to the bar. I guess it wasn't really kidnapping per say but Kattie called me to see if I was home yet and when I said yes she said "I'll be there in 10 minutes. And you can't say no. I already told Suz we were coming." It's nice to have friends like that. I needed the kidnapping. I tend to go inward when I start to get super stressed or depressed and it's nice that when my friends know it, they don't let me be alone. And they make me do shots. :)

Although last week as I was having a bad week, I realized things could always be worse. My friend Christine was supposed to have her Bachelorette Party on Saturday night but had to cancel because she is ridiculously sick. She has bronchitis AND pneumonia. She's lost 6lbs in less than 2 weeks. Her wedding is in less than a month now too. She can barely get out of bed, she's so sick. Poor thing! We're hoping we can get in another party for her maybe before she gets married. But it probably won't involve a hotel and party bus. . .

I actually just wondered into the 20th century for technology too. Dan talked me into buying an Ipod Shuffle yesterday. It's not quite the Ipod. . . but I am making baby steps. I'm going to try and start running again. After spraining my ankle so badly last year, I want to try it out. Now if only my knee will hold out. I think it will.

On Saturday night I went out with Dean and some of his girl friends from college. They were awesome. Oh and I got completely HAMMERED. Dean said at one point I went to the bar to get us drinks and by the time I came back I was almost done and said "Oh man, I need another beer already!" He also said that he would quit putting me up for these drinking challenges because I end up getting really drunk and then he feels bad. I wasn't my birthday drunk by any means, but there were late night phone calls on my phone. Which I don't remember. At all. I called Wine Rep. Yeah. I'm sure that was a good call at 2am. Note to Dean and myself: Make me eat more than Subway for supper. Or at least make me eat a footlong! Also when we were at Subway I wondered if anyone else thinks this in their head when they hear this phrase: "I'll take six inches" --That's what she said!!! Wait. . . Just me?!?

Now I need to talk about some important things:
Paris Hilton--Why were you at the Grammys and why did you forget your pants?

Chris Brown--WTF?!? I always thought you were this nice, sweet kid. What's up with you beating up a girl? Presumably your girlfriend Rhianna?

Justin Timberlake--I love you more each day.

Michael Phelps--I could care less if you smoked pot. I still heart you. What Dbag took your picture to begin with?? You wouldn't take a picture of your friends hitting a bong, so why would you take a pic of a famous person and risk them finding out who you were and then f'ing you up???

Woman that had the octopulets--Are you insane?? I mean seriously. You are already a single mother with 4 kids and no job. And you wonder WHY people aren't coming out to help you and support you. You implanted them on purpose! As a single mother! The sad part is, people are already assuming that the government is helping you out and so in a way, they are already helping you. . . with their tax dollars. And I'm sorry, but when you work in the line of work that I do, when people live off the government and could easily not just live off the government and get a job, it really drives you insane. There are so many part time jobs out there even in this economy. You can still have a job and receive government assistance. There are so many people on disability that aren't really disabled and then there are these children who actually have disabilities that can't get on disability. . . it irks me greatly.

Madonna--I saw a picture of her and it kind of scared me.

Have a great week peeps!

I am alive. . .

But the last couple of days, heck almost the last week, I have contemplated running out in front of moving vehicles.

It started last Wednesday going to San Francisco for work. Now I did get to actually see the city of San Fran which was awesome and I hope to one day go back and do the cool touristy things they have like go to Chinatown, Pier 39, shop the downtown district, etc. I got to drive on the Bay Bridge to go to Modesto which was where my meeting was at. Modesto is the wine and nut capital. I don't know if it really is but Gallo wine is made there as well Diamond nuts. And if you didn't know, almonds grow on trees. I didn't know that. I knew walnuts did but peanuts grow in the ground. So YOU do learn something new every day. :)

Anyway, I already hate having to fly in and out of places within 24 hours. I do this more than I like to. At least 3 times a year sometimes and I hate it. And this time, my worst fear happened. I do love the fact that since I hate long lay overs corporate is nice enough to make it so I have an hour to an hour and a half lay over. This time, however, it bit me in the arse. My flight leaving San Fran was a half hour late. So the hour I had to get through the MN airport did not occur. They made the announcement that "Don't worry, people that have connections elsewhere, your flights are waiting for you." I went up to double check because I don't necessarily trust airlines when they tell me these things. They even double checked and guaranteed me that it was waiting. Yeah, so I landed at 10:32pm and my connection was set to leave at 10:30. I wasn't worried because they were "waiting" for me. And while the flight attendant made the announcement while we were landing to please remain seating if this is your final destination or you have a long lay over because there are people that are having to hurry for waiting planes, half the plane decided to completely empty. They made the announcement twice and then added "People flying to Detroit, Memphis, or Milwaukee your flights are holding. There are vouchers for you other people."

Now this is the point where I start to get pissed. You see, they made me check my carry on when I boarded because all the overheads were full. And I am pretty sure I know why. The same douche bags that didn't wait to get off the plane for the other folks, were the same people that had 2 carry-ons and put BOTH of them in the overheads. You see when you travel with two carry-ons it is standard procedure to put the larger one above and the smaller one at your feet. NOT both of them overhead. Unless there is still room, then by all means yes. So I land and have nothing. NOTHING. Because also when they told me that they needed me to check my carry on they also sent it directly to my plane that I was supposed to catch. They couldn't be bothered with sorting it out and giving it to me when we landed.

Luckily I have the most awesome cousins in the world and H came and picked me up at the airport at 11pm and then took me back to the airport at 5:30am for my 7am flight back home. She also took me to the Cubs Foods so I could buy contact solution and a toothbrush. Thanks again! You ROCK!!!

Now, I had contemplated even working on Friday anyway because I knew I was going to be worn out from the late travelling. And as I almost fell asleep on my drive home from the airport at 9am, I thought my bed was the best place to be. But as I laid there and couldn't sleep I decided to shower. Then I see I have a missed call from my boss. I call him back. He asks when I got in and then proceeds to have me open up the 4 emails he sent me while he was waiting for his plane the day before and have me answer questions about the proposal and changes for an hour and a half. I cannot tell you about anything we talked about to be honest. I was sooo tired. I finally grab lunch at 2pm and proceed to reread things and just cannot focus. I call him about something I did find and he asks if I was done looking at it yet. And I told him due to how tired I am, I should probably read it a 3rd time. He then is like "Oh yeah, quit looking at it today and then just get it to me Sunday." Which you know, he wasn't going to look at it the rest of the weekend, he just wanted it to him first thing Monday morning.

I worked for 5 hours on Sunday trying to get all the things done I needed to for my conference call on Monday at 10am. Then on my half hour conference call that lasted an hour and a half, I realized that NO ONE else did what they were supposed to. Just me. The person who was travelling, missed her connection, and whose job does not consist of JUST WRITING PROPOSALS!!! I'm not joking. The other people on the call's job is to just write proposals. They are not managing projects or travelling to cities to try and get more projects.

This was my Monday. And basically it's slowly getting better. SLOWLY. But the best part about it is that it's like my boss sends me an email on the proposal and wonders why I don't look at it right away. I'm sorry. I actually have another job to do. You know, the one you pay me for in the first place. If only I just sat on my arse all day doing nothing. Oh wait. . . I'm sitting here right now blogging. . . but. . . eh. . .