Creativity 101

I saw this and had to post it.

It almost reminds me of the guy that lived near my grandparents who had so many OWIs that he had a permanent breathalyzer installed into his car. Every time he got into his car to drive, he had to blow into the breathalyzer in order for the car to start. If he had any alcohol in his system, the car wouldn't start. And instead of say, not drinking and driving, he filled up balloons when he was sober and used those to start the car. I think the cops found out though. . .

What is wrong with some people?!?

PLANT CITY, Fla. - A 2-month-old is back in the arms of her parents and the wife of a top Pittsburgh Pirates minor league prospect is suspected of taking the infant from a health clinic outside Tampa, authorities said Tuesday.
Amalia Tabata Pereira, 43, was being questioned by Florida detectives in Manatee County, where the girl was found unharmed Tuesday afternoon, a day after she was taken from the clinic. Plant City Chief of Police Bill McDaniel said authorities are looking to charge Pereira with false imprisonment.
She is the wife of Jose Tabata, 20, an outfielder and one of the top three prospects for the Pirates, who train in Bradenton, which is in the county where the infant was found. In a statement, Pirates president Frank Coonelly said they have received “no indication that Jose is believed to have had any involvement in this matter.”

You can read the rest of this here.

I can't figure out how on earth a 20-year-old hot* baseball player married a 43-year-old apparent crazy woman. I guess you don't always recognize 'crazy' until it's too late.

*I'm just assuming he's hot because he plays baseball. Okay I guess not all professional baseball players have pretty faces and are hot. Just nice to look at in baseball pants.

Sorry. . . I didn't get on that. . .

Finishing my blogs I had started I mean! Sheesh dirty minded people! Which is kind of funny because one of them is almost about that. . . .

Anyway, to somewhat tide you over, is something that I realized terrifies me still after almost 19 years. Worms. I almost stepped on one walking from my meeting, and it just made me shutter.

Why on earth would worms scare me soo much?!?

I guess it's not so much that they terrify me, but more so that they creep me the eff out. I used to be able to take the worm and put it on my own hook when I would go fishing. But not now.

Let me set the scene. It's 5th grade. It had rained during the morning, and we were outside for noon recess. Some boys thought it would be funny to throw worms at the girls. HILARIOUS boys. Hilarious. They get yelled at so they stopped, and we all have to line up to go back inside.

Then my friend Jenny says "Hey is there something in my hair?" I quickly glance and am like "No. Nothing." And she says "Are you sure??" So I start to peel through her hair, and there it is. The worm. It had wormed it's way so to speak into the tanglements of her hair and close to her scalp. I am not joking. I did what any other girl would do: I screamed, threw it out of hair, and kept yelling "EWWWWWW."

I am nothing but always cool, calm, and collected.

Since then, I still always shutter every time I see a worm. I even dissected I don't know how many worms in school. And I enjoyed it. I don't know why. Maybe it's because in some way I am inflecting pain on the worm that caused me so much emotional distress. Who knows?!?

I have a beef. . .

With Arby's. . . (get it?!? Beef?!? Hello?!? Anyone?!?)

Anyway. . . what's up with their advertising their Roast Beef Sandwiches now as Roast Burgers? I don't get it. And I'm pretty sure I don't like it.

I think it has something to do with taking the name BEEF out of it. Or something. Am I not really eating 100% beef now?

Like when McDonald's said the chicken nuggets were now 100% made with real chicken meat. It scared me. Really. I loved chicken nuggets. And sometimes I still eat them. . . when I'm drunk.

I do have like a billion posts I have started and haven't subsequently finished. I will get on that. Really.

Words cannot describe. . .

I was reading this about Chris Brown and Rihanna. And well. . . I will never listen to another Chris Brown album or his songs ever again, no matter how much I love the song "No Air" with Jordan Sparks. I will now listen the country version by whoever sings it. Is it whomever or whoever in this instance??


I am deeply, deeply disturbed by Chris Brown now. While I feel violence between any parties is never the answer, I sort of had heard things that she was hitting him so I thought maybe he did it in self defense and got a little out of control. Which is no excuse either way, but I do have a friend who used to get smacked/kicked by an ex-girlfriend. While he never hit her back, he did say the thought often crossed his mind to at least defend himself and hit her back.

However, after reading that he started to hit her after she saw a text from another woman?? She SHOULD have been hitting your arse. And you should have taken it if you were indeed cheating on her.

Okay. . . that's my two cents. . . or ten cents. . . whatever. . .

Exact Email

Hey. We need to talk. . . about your blog. I mean seriously. I realize I haven't read it in like oh 2 months or so but today when I was reading it I for one was expecting there to be a lot for me to catch up on and two, I expected it to be somewhat funny.

I realize most people that read it know you and in turn put your voice to it when they read it and are like "Oh hey, she's just her funny, whacky self" but I can't even put that on it. I mean, I read it and I hear your voice in my head as I read it, but I'm not hearing the cheery voice I usually hear. I'm hearing somesort of other voice. That isn't as cheery. This is not voice that I look forward to on my birthday to sing me Happy Birthday. This isn't the voice that I look forward to sometimes getting a drunk call from when we haven't talked in forever and you apologize for the late drunk call and it's 9pm. No. This is not the voice. Frankly, if we didn't live so far away and my husband wouldn't like it if I took a trip out there without him, I would be there in a heart beat because I'm feeling something is off.

I love you. I need you to be happy again. And yes, you can't be down. It's like against some space-time continium thing that goes against life as we know it or something. So buck up and be happy again. Thank you.

See, I do talk about you on my blog! ;) I hope no one else reading this thinks this too. I really am okay. Which I did email back as well. With a long, long explanation as to why I may be down. I could have called back, but really I think she and I play phone tag more than anyone has the right to. Which by the way, you were tagged like a week ago. . . .

Anyway, My life is currently BORING. I swear. After the stress has been lifted with all this work crap. . . my life is pretty much boring. I've had a cold and it's been cold, so I don't like going out and doing fun things. Plus next week I find out if I still will have a job in July. . . let's hope that's a BIG YES. :)

And on a side note: It's my thing to sing "Happy Birthday" to people on their birthday. . . and well my friend Vince on Sunday said it was the best rendition he had gotten all day. No Joke. And I hadn't even bribed him with the cupcakes I had made. He didn't even know about them yet!

Happy Birthday!

Well it's not anyone that reads this blog. . . but my Gramps turned 84 today. I can't believe it. He told me last fall that he never expected to live past 40. He doubled that and THEN some! My Grandpa does get on the Internet and emails and whatnot, but I haven't really told him I have a blog or anything because it might lead to more questioning on how to use his computer. And by email I mean he forwards emails. He actually only writes emails when I'm there and type them for him. He will add on his emails "This is funny" and that's about it. He basically also sends me dirty jokes.

Also for my Gramps birthday I made him a cherry pie. I told him that I was going to make him an apple pie and he said he liked cherry better. So when I got home on Friday night, I made a cherry pie. I also bought him lunch on Saturday even though he told me I didn't have to. I'm such a good granddaughter!

My little cousin is in this commercial. Thanks PJ for finding it! However, most of you have probably seen it already since I emailed it. . . but for the other people. She's just soo cute!

It cracked me up this weekend because I told 2 separate people on 2 separate days that I am giving up on dating guys for the moment, and they both asked if I was switching teams. I guess at my age being single and saying that might need some clarification. Maybe I should just state "I'm giving up on dating right now to concentrate solely on myself."

I get to see Josie in less than two weeks now!! Can you tell I'm excited?!? Oh Kaci, I also get to see you too and am just as excited about that, you just aren't sick. . . well in that way anyway. . . ;)

I also realized after watching The Soup again this weekend that I love Joel McHale. I wish his comedy was coming here. I think he said he's going to be in Cleveland in March.

On Friday I received a crackberry from my boss. And while it was a super nice gesture and by nice I mean that way I didn't have to buy one, the blackberry he sent me didn't have a camera on it. Which I feel that I need a camera on my phone to record such things as traffic accidents or to take pictures of license plates of cars that might be dangerous. Oh and for pictures of cute guys I meet or drunken pics of my friends. . . So today I went online to Verizon to buy one, and I just so happened to get a great deal. I got the Blackberry Curve in Pink for a whopping $0.00. Yep. It's originally $169.99. I got it for FREE. I was up for an upgrade anyway, but still. AWESOME.

To close out my Monday, I have to share a story that Dan and I were talking about yesterday. Dan and I were talking about food expiration labels and I was saying that depending on some things, it's more of a sell by date. My mom is notorious for this and she has made me eat things that are questionable. Anyway, I bring this up again because Natalie just asked me if her yogurt that has a date of the 2/27 is still good. And I said yes. My normal yogurt says on it that it's good up to 5 days past the sell by date. Anyway, yesterday Dan tells me how one of his friends wives only goes by the sell by date. And he and his friend were trying to tell her that it's a sell by date and not a consume by date, and this isn't always especially true like with Milk. If it smells bad, it's bad and don't drink it. So Dan's friend realized the milk had gone bad one day and it wasn't even the sell by date yet, so he made his wife drink it. I almost died. Partially because I know them, secondly, that she did it just to stand by her story of expiration dates, and thirdly I accidentally drank curdled milk once and it made me vomit in my mouth a little just thinking about it.

My Mom's theory is that if it smells bad or funny, don't eat or drink it. Sometimes her nose and my nose differ. :)

And in case you were wondering. . . Usually milk is good 7 days past the sell by date. Just go by the smell. Eggs are good up to a month (or more) past their sell on date. After the month sell by date, cookies and cakes might not rise as much with those eggs. My mom also swears that if you haven't opened Mayo or salad dressing and it's past the sell on date, you can still use it until it starts smelling or changes color. Oh and you can always cook with spoiled milk, sour cream, and cottage cheese. And if it's moldy, don't eat it, unless it's cheese. I don't agree with this one but my mom says that since mold IS cheese, that it's perfectly safe. I guess blue cheese looks like mold, but if I see it on my cheddar, I toss it!

Again, you learn something new every day!!

Happy Monday!!