The "talk" Part 1

Of all the times I should have had an answer. Or at least a complete thought. Or have not just been so aloof. But no, the way I work is that I am completely and utterly hopeless.


Dean brought up the "talk". And for some reason I wasn't ready for it. I know people kept telling me you need to bring it up. YOU need to say something. It was always me bringing it up and saying something to him. ME. I had to be the one to do it. I was going to so many times too but no time seemed like a good time. Something always was happening. I'd get bad news. He'd get bad news. He'd pass out and be asleep. I'd pass out. But alas, on a Wednesday night at approximately 1am, he brings up the "talk".


Let me paint the picture: I found out bad news about Josie that day. He was going to come over and hang out before his late soccer games and eat. Well. . . he got a phone interview and then had to run an errand. His car died and then I had to go and jump it. By jump it, I really just brought my car so he could do the whole start it back up thing. So by then, it was better that we just went straight to the game. The games got over around 11 and he still wanted to hang out if I did. And of course I did, he's comforting. So he comes over and since my roommate was there, we went and watched TV in my room and chatted.



So keep in mind, it's late. I'm tired. And all I want him to do is stay and I don't care that it's a school night. He keeps saying how he needs to leave probably, and I keep saying he can stay. I even go and get ready for bed and under the covers to prove my point that he can stay. And then it's quiet for sometime and I look over and his eyes are closed.



Me: Just stay. Go Shower and stay.

Him: Fine.



I close my eyes and almost drift off to sleep.



Him: (Loud sigh) What's going on here?

Me: Huh?!? (I was half-asleep!)

Him: I mean, what's going on with us?

Me: Huh?!? (Not sure if you notice a pattern with me. . .)

Him: I mean, everyone asks what's going on with us and I say we're friends because we are friends but are we really friends?

Me: We're awkward friends.

Him: We're not awkward.

Me: We're not normal!

Him: Okay, we're not normal. I know other guys are interested in you and I would feel bad if you're not going out with them because of me. And I would hate to think that they're not asking you out because of me. And I guess the same can be said about me. I would feel bad if I was hurting you or something if I went out with another girl.

Me: Ummm. . . I do go out on dates. . . And yes, when they find out about you I do get "I didn't realize you were dating someone else." And then it pretty much ends there.

Him: Oh. (Long pause) So we're friends??

Me: Yeah of course we're friends.

Him: Do you still want me to stay?

Me: Yeah. . .

Him: Okay, I'll go shower now then.

I do realize this is not good. . . I missed my opportunity right then and there. I let my moment pass me by so to speak. Like in My Best Friend's Wedding when Julia Roberts and Dermot Mulroney are on the boat and he sings to her. That's me. I'm going to be chasing down his soon to be fiancee after I had just tried to kiss him. I am my own bad romance comedy. (And by bad I mean it doesn't end the way we want it to.)