Thursday, September 3, 2009

When Will I Learn?!?

So last night after our awesome 12-2 victory in our first Kickball game. . . and yes, we 10-run ruled them in the 5th. . . we went out for some beverages at one of my favorite dive bars. Which by the way, is the same bar where I gave the 45-year-old bartender my number to prove my point that Dean and I weren't dating nor hooking up. But guess who never called?!? Okay, so I wasn't too upset that he never called, but still. . .it's the principle of the matter! Oh and said bartender was working. . . anyway. . .

My friend who I will call Moon and I were talking about his girlfriend and how when they broke up back in January, they never changed their Facebook status and if you don't change your Facebook status it means it's not really "official" you know?!? Sorry this is an inside joke with a bunch of my friends and I, but in reality, it does seem to hold true. . . So then he just lets out this big sigh in the midst of talking about her. And I'm like "what's the big sigh for??" So he starts telling me all these things. All these negative things. And he says how they've been together for 2 1/2 years and how it's like do or die now time.

I then tell him that it's not really do or die time if you can see yourself marrying her and being with her forever. To which he responds that he doesn't know and isn't sure. I then start going on about how when you're in college or high school and you've been dating someone for 2 1/2 years or 6 years and it continues into your adult world, it might take longer than 2 1/2 years into your adult world* to determine if that person is the one or the person you've just grown comfortable with them.

In the adult world, it's different. You should know in 2 years now. It shouldn't take that long to realize this is "the one." So I go into the stories of my friends who dated the same person since high school and got married years after college. Or the ones that started dating their junior year of college and now just got married. And with all of them it took them the year or two into their adult lives to realize that who they were with were "the one." And then I told him of my 2 high school friends who dated all through high school and all through college only to break up their first year out of college. Dustin ended up meeting his wife Kristin later that year and married her with in 3 years of meeting her. Because he realized right away she was the person he couldn't live without. I told Moon that you just know. When you start to be a grown up, I fully believe you just know.

So he contemplates this and says "Oh so I should break up with her then??" And I say, "Wait. . .NO, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying you need to think about all these things before you make any decisions." Which I would like to believe he's been thinking about these things for awhile now. Then Moon says "Yeah, thanks for telling me I should just break up with her. I think that's what I'm going to do." And then Dean says "Way to tell him to break up with his girlfriend!!" I hate myself now.

The problem with this: I like Moon's girlfriend. I really like her. She's really nice and sweet. But with all the things he was telling me with regards to their relationship, maybe it isn't good for them to be together. And as a girl, if I could have a relationship for over 2 years, I would like to think that this was the person I would be thinking about spending my life with. Granted, I don't go into first dates thinking this. . .but after a few dates, the thought crosses my mind if this is someone that's going to annoy me years down the road. Maybe this is why my longest relationship has been 6 months and I have a problem with commitment and lean towards awkward friendships. . .but that my friends is a different post.

*Adult World to me is when you start to make your own money and don't have to rely on your parents anymore or not as much for money to live on. . .

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