Monday, December 7, 2009

Open Letter to Jason Segel

Dear Jason,

May I call you Jason?? Or Mr. Segel? Or just Jason Segel. Or former lover. Whatever.

First off, I would like to say that I love you. Or at least I love your character Marshall on HIMYM. I mean, I think I used to love you. I, at one time, especially (or not especially because it makes me sound like a perv) after watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall, thought, that maybe we could be together. Maybe, just maybe, I would have an intimate relationship with you.

But then. But THEN. I read this. Again. This is the 2nd time I've read this. TWICE. TWO. Numero Dos. I am appalled. I am shocked. I would like to say I am at a loss of words, but that has never been a problem for me.

Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay "I'm a mess" Lohan?? Really??? If you're that desperate, I will fly out to you. I will take a train. I will drive. Anything to keep you from her. Anything. I'm afraid you probably have a few diseases. And her parents sound and act nuts. You don't want that. Usually crazy is hereditary. Well at least your chances increase if both parents are crazy.
There is a chance that she is completely normal and just acts that way in front of the paparazzi. And that she didn't go off the deep end and is still headed there. But Seriously. I mean seriously.

Why oh why oh why???

I think that is all I have.

Sincerely,

Your maybe future girlfriend depending on your actions with Lindsay Lohan.

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