Long time, no type?

I've had a few friends inform me that I haven't updated my blog in awhile. I guess my post saying I've been super busy doesn't count. Come on friends! :)

A few things that have been on my mind lately:

• I don't care that Kim K did something to her hair. Shocking I know! I also didn't watch the final episode of the show to see where the marriage went wrong, even though E! kept having a promo every single commercial break.




• My love for Channing Tatum has only grown deeper. I cannot wait to go see The Vow when it comes out!!




• Also, after watching "Crazy, Stupid, Love" my roommate and I decided that we are going to have a Ryan Gosling Sunday Marathon, much like our Law&Order:SVU marathons only with all hotness and less creepy. AND we were happy to see that Drive just came out on video Tuesday and that one movie with Justin Timberlake and Matt Bomer also came out. The movies we watch will be as follows: Ides of March, Drive, and In Time. We also realized we need to start going on dates or something because our expectations for men's abs are really out of control at the moment. :)




• Online dating isn't for me. But luckily I paid for the 6-month guarantee, so I get another 6 months free when I still haven't gone on one single date. Yeah! (This is drenched with sarcasm if you can't tell. . . )




• My littlest nephew keeps getting more and more adorable.

I still can't believe I haven't seen him since December 26th. :(





• My aunt passed away at the ripe old age of 100 years, and 10 months. She was a riot and I will miss her. Apparently at my Grandma's funeral she turned to a cousin and said (in reference to her 2 younger brother-in-laws) "I'm totally going to out live those old goats!" At my Grandpa's funeral as she was leaving, the funeral director said "See you later Marjorie!" and she turned around and said "I know what you mean by that and I DO NOT appreciate it!" I don't think my cousins and I quit laughing for awhile. It still cracks me up. She was 94 at that time.


• I'm still dog sitting for the Butch-ster. He is not adjusting well and I think he thinks Mom and Dad have left him. Last year, he could have cared less, but this year. . . he cries every time I come home and change clothes. . . and usually that's for us to go on a walk!


• It was brought to my attention last Thursday night, that I hang out with good looking people. And then I thought about it. . . I do. . .and I should quit. I need to go back to my earlier thought that if I hang around ugly people, it will make me look hotter. This phenomenon has been proven in countless movies.


• Also things that have been proven in movies: Mean girls (or guys) in high school stay that way and other people (like the "nerds" or "uncool" people) always prosper. It's a proven fact in movies and tv shows every time they show a reunion episode, which leads me to believe there might be some proof to it!


• My parents keep asking how Butch is every time I talk to them and then forget to somehow ask how I am until I say something.


• My Mom did ask me if she could become an alcoholic later in life since she now likes the taste of beer and apparently on vacation she's been been having a drink every night.


• My Grandpa J never ceases to crack me up. I dread the day I will have to say goodbye.


• I went to happy hour at 5pm last Friday. . . I left at 11pm. It was just my one guy friend and I. . . so. . . not sure what that says about us. . . but we were having good conversation, so why stop?? Plus, I'm pretty sure the last time we looked at the time it wasn't 8pm yet. And we might have been drinking 40s. It was buy 1, get 1!

I think that's all. I hope you're caught up on my thoughts. . . and you're all doing well. I haven't even read your blogs this week which makes me feel bad.

Nothing to say. . .

I really have absolutely nothing to say except that I want you all to know that I'm still alive.

I was supposed to have Jury Duty the 3rd-27th of January, so I was busy making sure every little thing possible was done ahead of schedule at work . . .and then I kept never getting called in. So alas, I never got a cool case or anything. I was sorely disappointed.

But I feel I should leave you with something. . .

He's from several movies like Tron and Country Strong. I really fell in love with him in Country Strong. Garrett Hedlund is his name and he's apparently dating Kirsten Dunst. I am trying to figure out how she gets to date all these hotties. . . she's pretty and all. . . but. . .there's just something that annoys me about her.

Hopefully I get back into that whole random writing again. . . we shall see. :)

Facts of Life. . .

I really have no "facts" about life. . . just some confessions since I feel my blog is the best way to tell my dirty little secrets since the only people that read this are some family members (who love me no matter what), few friends, and complete and utter strangers. Apparently I have a big Ukraine following. :)

And really, when looking back, I feel the Facts of Life only taught me that most things could be resolved in a half hour or sometimes an hour (when an episode was continued) and that George Clooney was going to be a star. And it really made me want to have my own Mrs. Garrett. I digress. . .

I feel that sometimes (okay most times) I will always be the 13-year-old me. Never fails. When it comes to guys, I will never think that they are interested in me. Granted, I have lost my crush on Damon from the MMC, but still love Tony Lucca. I still love my family and extended family and nothing will probably change that. I still cry for no reason and I will, without fail, watch Saved by the Bell. Plus, I still talk to a good portion of the people I was friends with at 13.

However, now the 31-year-old me does creepy things, like think Zac Efron's hot and on Tues night, I flipped between the IL game and this movie called Keith. Which if you read the synopsis, sounds really stupid. . . but it had JESSE MCCARTNEY! I always thought "What a cute kid!" and then he turned 20, and I was like "Woah, he's pretty hot is he legal?". In case you feel compelled to watch the movie, it's basically A Walk to Remember but with Jesse in Mandy Moore's roll. I'm sorry I just ruined the movie for you. I guess you could probably watch both movies side by side just so you can see Shane West. . . I don't feel bad about Shane West as he's my age. . . and I do know I have a penchant for 25-year-olds because they are so trainable when you're the older one in the relationship but I can't help but feel like a creeper when I think someone that's like 9 years younger than I am is cute. Wait. . . Jesse is 25. . . totally normal now. :)

I really do feel things are getting weirder for me at 31. I will instantly stop and watch Zac Efron's movies. . .and apparently watch Jesse McCartney movies. . . and now. . . I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but I am also now having dreams about Rob Kardashian. The only male Kardashian. We're dating in my dreams apparently. Thankfully, he hasn't introduced me to Kim but I have gotten to meet Khloe. I don't even watch Keeping Up with Kardashians or Dancing with the Stars and he's in my dreams?? Maybe I need to quit watching E! News or reading my gossip mags. I don't know.

It's scaring me. . . who knows what 32 will have in store for me!

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

I need to just let this out there as in a week's time I have talked about this 3 times now. THREE. So in my mind, that's quite a bit to be a repeat convo.

So. . . well. . .

Zac Efron is hot.

And not like a little bit hot, but a lot hot. Why can't he find me irresistible on Match?

Anyway, he's in a new movie, coming out today, which is probably why he's been brought up so much. On Saturday my roommate and I were talking and she says "I have to tell you something that might be inappropriate considering all the child molestation stuff coming out, but I really think Zac Efron is hot." I said "Umm. . . yeah. . .but he's totally legal now."

Then we got to talking about when he got his hotness. We are too old for the High School Musical stuff and I can't remember what TV shows he was on off the top of my head.

I told her for me it was 17 Again. She was like "Oh yes! That was it!! Then came Charlie St. Cloud." Oooh Charlie St. Cloud. Then we both got to thinking that he might have actually been 17 while filming 17 Again, and we felt dirty.

People, I probably won't see the movie New Year's Eve because all the reviews say that it's one of the worst movies ever made. If I do watch it, it will be when it's free on tv. And I will probably only rewatch the parts with Zac Efron in them. And Josh Duhamel. I seriously stopped what I was doing and watched Win a Date with Tad Hamilton one day. I love Topher Grace too, so it was win/win, but a really horrible movie.

Seriously, why can't those guys be here in Iowa in real life??

I also realized I am going through a beard phase. Like, I won't even look at a guy who doesn't have a beard. I love No Shave November for this purpose. I talked my best guy friend into growing a beard. He still hasn't shaved it. I bet it's because I keep mentioning how hot he looks with one like every time I see him.

I really better find a guy on Match soon or else I'm going to start pretending I'm dating someone famous and just "hang out" with them by watching their movies. . . .

Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself . . .

Life is funny. Especially my life, which I constantly just have to laugh at.

Yesterday, I was having a down day as I have gotten NO response on Match besides rejections if I did get one.

Then I was walking to the restroom in my office building (and I'll admit it, I'm a speed walker) and the heel of my shoe got caught on the hem of my pants which caused me to literally dive onto the ground about 10ft from the bathroom door. Luckily no one saw me, but I'm pretty sure I yelled "FUCK!" I'm also happy I didn't wet my pants as I have a tendency to sit at my desk until the last possible minute.

Now flash forward to 10am this morning. I had just gotten done with my meeting and went to open my car door. And BAM! nothing happened but the force as to which my door did not open, caused me to jam my fingers and subsequently, rip my nail off on my middle finger down to the wick.

Then an hour later, I am walking back into the building for another meeting at my usual fast pace, when my heel gets caught in a crack in the cement and my foot comes flying out of my shoe that is not moving with the rest of my body, scraping my foot. I didn't even realize what happened until my bare foot hit the cold pavement. A guy walking out of the building said "Woah, I thought you had tripped, until I saw you walk back for your shoe!"

I can't wait until this evening! :)

I think I found a sure cure to help with my self-esteem. . .

Oh wait, just kidding. It actually makes it worse.

Due to much pressure, I finally caved and joined Match.com. The only bad problem is that I really am only on there once or twice a week. The even worse problem is that I am apparently hideous. Which would probably explain why I am single to begin with.

The one and only time I tried Online dating, I didn't really read the guy's profile. He was super persistent on getting together, so I met him for lunch. He joked that he was short and I just thought he was 5'6". He was maybe 5'4" and portly. I can do portly. I need portly and sports active like me and at least 5'6". He also told me that he let his cat eat out of his popcorn bowl. That creeped me out.

In life, I am told that I come off very confident and self-assured and whatnot. And really in every other aspect of my life besides when it comes to the opposite sex, I am confident and self-assured. Then I start to like someone or think someones cute, and I become a complete idiot and self-deprecating.

When I first joined Match, I was told to email guys right off the bat and don't wink by one guy friend but then another guy friend said that I should send out winks to everyone. I initially signed up just to see what was out there but didn't pay for the service, so really all I could do was wink which I think I only winked at a few people. Then after much deliberation, one of my friends and I joined together. We decided on the 6 month plan, and if we don't find someone, then it's 6 months free. He's getting winks, emails, and all these ladies interested in him. The funny part, is that he has ladies interested in him outside the world of online dating too.

I've had 5 winks since I initially signed up in September and NO emails since I signed up to pay a month ago. I've sent 10 emails out in that month and either no responses or immediate rejection. So, if you're wondering, this is absolutely horrible for my self-esteem. HORRIBLE. Had I not been hit on by a very drunk man on Saturday night and by a 23 month-old child on Sunday who yelled "hi" to me at the store but then wouldn't talk to me and only smile, I would be very sad.

Maybe I am supposed to be single. However, I'm pretty sure God didn't make me a great cook to waste it on just me.

Put a Fork in it. . . I'm done!

Lately, I feel the news seems to revolve around 3 things:

• Sanduskey and Penn State


• Kim Kardashian


• NBA Lockout

I am sick of hearing about all 3 and I feel all of them have one thing in common: Money.

I'll start with Sanduskey. I'm not sure what people know about my job, but I am a children's advocate. So. . . I've read many a case files about children being abused or being the abusers to other children. The things that happened at Penn State make me sick. Do I feel it's Paterno's fault?? No. Do I feel that he probably should have had a red flag pop up the many, many times that Sanduskey was alone with random boys?? Yes. When I notice a friend's behavior is off, I ask another friend or my friend themselves. It's been stated that it was common practice for Sanduskey to take young boys to away games and stay with them in the same hotel room. Games his wife wasn't there. These are not family friends. These are random young boys. That is weird. I also find it funny (but not in a haha type way) that Sanduskey stated he isn't a pedophile and that everyone horses around in the shower and takes showers after workouts. That is true. But everyone usually takes showers in the locker room with people their own age or with people who are at the gym after their workout. . . and everyone is usually in a different stall. I never remember one of my coaches showering in the locker rooms with us after a workout. That would have been weird. I'm pretty sure the reason this was all covered up was because of the money Penn State would have lost. Why else would you repeatedly turn a blind eye and enable someone like that?

Now as for the NBA Lockout: You money hungry cry babies. They are so worried that the middle level prospect will be making $400,000 less a year but don't seem to care about all the games that are being cancelled that the lower income people who are relying on the job at the venues they play at aren't making any money at all. Good for you guys! Why don't the super money makers give up some of their money to the middle levels?? That's an idea. I quit watching the NBA after the last time they were in contract negotiations. I probably will never watch them again. This is why I stick to college sports. They still have a love of the game. Granted their love of the game might be to make a big pay check later on, but. . .

The Kardashians. . . specifically Kim. I'm not going to lie here, I get sucked into Keeping up with the Kardashians and their spin-offs from time to time. One of the days that my roommie and I got sucked into watching a marathon and they were in Bora Bora it was definitely portraying Kim as a spoiled brat who also was really annoying. Yet Kris Humphries STILL proposed to her after he just said how ridiculous she was acting. Good plan. If you're annoyed now. . . wait 20 years down the line. . . and then see how annoyed you are. If I have to see one more thing on Kim and Kris and how horrible Kim feels about. . . I might explode.

I already talked about how ridiculously expensive the wedding was and they should have donated money instead. Well instead of returning the wedding gifts after 72 days of marriage, she said she would just donate all this money to charity. Really?? If I had went to that wedding, I would want my gift back. And hmmm. . .let me see. . .maybe you should have just donated that money to begin with. . . especially if this wedding turns out to be a sham. Or maybe they are just trying to drum up publicity for Kim and Kourtney take New York. I just want to know when Reality Stars got to be actual celebrities?? Anyway, if I had to pick a Kardashian, it's Khloe. She keeps it real. She admits how ridiculous her marriage happened so quickly to Lamar yet her marriage is already over a year or so old.

I am done venting. Maybe I should just quit reading the gossip pages. . . but who am I going to live vicariously through??