Some people are just. . .

My friend Alissa invited me to a concert last night for the St. Jude's Foundation. I was super pumped.

And I will make an announcement right now: I like Country music. I grew up listening to it and I have never quit really. I grew up listening to the greats: Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson, George Jones, Kris Kristopherson, Alabama, etc. I have even gotten other people to listen to Country music. I've listened as Country music turned from Blue Grass with a little Rock to downright Pop music. Yes I'm talking to you Taylor Swift and Faith Hill. Anywho. . .

The benefit had Jack Ingram, Keith Anderson, Jessica Andrews, and the great Randy Owens, lead singer for Alabama.

It opened with Jack Ingram and Keith Anderson sitting on stage together, each taking turns singing one of their songs and chatting. It was really cool.

Then Randy Owens and Jessica Andrews came out. This is where things got weird. Keith Anderson and Jack Ingram are pretty equal in their talents and hits. Randy Owens has been a legend in the music business for 40 years. Jessica Andrews has had one #1 hit and is like 26. There is no comparison here people. Jessica is a great singer but really she should have been up singing every other song with Keith And Jack. Heck, even they have had more hits than she has and have been in the music biz a lot longer.

Randy Owens started playing his song first and then Jessica made a comment when he looked at her to banter and start playing she said that she could just step off the stage and watch him instead of playing. Weird. Well then Randy played his 4th song (Mountain Music) and then just was like "Goodnight Everyone!!!" Just like that. No Jessica playing one more song or anything. She didn't even play her only #1 hit. It was just done. It was the strangest ending to a concert I have ever been to. EVER.

The music is not what made the night so entertaining though. It was perhaps the 2 older couples that kept groping each other and practically having simulated sex in front of us. And as they got drunker, it got worse. And made me vomit in my mouth.

At one point in the evening, Jack Ingram was at the bar getting a drink, like 5 ft from me and Alissa and I saw this girl seriously flirting with him hard core. Almost embarrassingly flirting. He mentioned during the show he was married with children ages 2,5, and 7. Anyway, as Alissa and I were saying what poor taste that was, drunk older lady #1 from gropefest came up and grabbed his arm and then other drunk older lady #2 from gropefest #2 came up and they wanted a picture with him. So drunk older guy #1 took a picture on his phone of them. This really pissed off the girl that was throwing herself on him. Anyway, you could tell that Jack was feeling very awkward around the drunk gals, and he kind of made an exit. Except about the time he made the exit, I was getting up off my chair to go the bathroom and almost ran directly into him. AWKWARD. This would have been a perfect time to get a picture, but I was just soo stunned.

So when I get back from the loo, drunk older lady #1 says LOUDLY "I can't believe we just talked to AND got our picture with Keith Anderson!!!" Oh did I happen to mention that Keith Anderson and HIS ENTIRE FAMILY were sitting right behind Alissa and I. I'm pretty sure Keith himself heard it. Jack Ingram and Keith Anderson look absolutely nothing alike. Keith's arms are like the size of my leg. And I am not joking. He is ripped. I really wanted him to pick me up, throw me over his shoulders, and carry me away and play the guitar for me. I'm a sucker for a guy who can sing and play the guitar. So not only was she drunk and groping/rubbing up against and making out with her husband, she had no idea who the people were she was watching at the concert.

Anywho, Alissa and I were trying all night to figure out how to get Keith's picture since he was behind us. Take a self pic and have him in the background?!? Just stand up and turn around and take a candid?!? Most of the night he stood behind me over my head watching the show, so it would have been pretty obvious. I could have literally just turned around and grabbed his leg through the railing. And had it been George Clooney or Jensen Ackles or Justin Timberlake. . . I probably would have. . . but I'm not an uber Keith Anderson or Jack Ingram fan, so I didn't want to look or act like a nutso. Plus it was a pretty chill concert at a small venue and most other people weren't acting like screaming fans, so we didn't want to be those people. Because trust me, those people stood out.