What is Love?!?

I hope the rest of you get the rest of this song in your head "baby don't hurt me. . . don't hurt me no more. What is Love?!?" and are also doing the SNL thing with your head. . . sorry to you now for having that song stuck all day. . . hehehehehe. . . .

Love is a many splendid things. . . Love, Love lifts up where we belong. . . Love stinks. . .


You've probably noticed I haven't talked about Dean Cain in awhile. . . I'm okay with it. And I had a very bitter post written about it, but decided not to post it because well. . . I'm not bitter anymore. the truth is. . . we haven't hung out in awhile and I stopped missing him. I stopped needing him. We are no more. And well. . . I'm finally okay with it. And actually am quite thankful for it. He turned into a person that I didn't even know anymore. I don't know if he was pretending to be this person I thought he should be when he was with me, or now, he's the person he's always been. I don't know. And frankly, I quit caring. My love stupor has warn off. Which I didn't realize I was in. . . but apparently I was. And well. . . I'm sort of glad that I don't have to worry about him anymore and that he's technically not my problem nor responsibility. It sounds mean, but really. . . it's not. You can't let other people help you if you're not willing to help yourself.

I am a person who is in love with being in love. I'm a hopeless romantic. I know it doesn't help my favorite movie is Hope Floats. But I know that somewhere out there is a guy who is ready to sweep me off my feet. Somewhere out there, there is a guy who can't stop thinking about me. Somewhere, there is a guy who is willing to tell me right then and there that he's fallen in love with me (or at least thinks he has). Somewhere out there, there is a guy who will come over with a kite and say "Let's go and fly this puppy" and then when we're out there, he'll say "This kite is kind of like us. When I'm with you, I get carried away." I want that. I need that. I deserve that. It took me awhile to realize that. Somewhere that guy is out there. He may be in France or Canada (visiting on a work visa, not a permanent resident) but he's out there.

But for now, I'll just relish the good times I'm having hanging out with my friends. Especially my guy friends. For some reason, they sort of backed off from hanging out. I'm not sure why. Perhaps they didn't want to step on any one's toes. . . I don't know. . . but for now I'm enjoying the calls during the week asking if I want to hang out and not just the emails asking if I'd like to do happy hour on Friday with the gang.