Facts of Life. . .

I really have no "facts" about life. . . just some confessions since I feel my blog is the best way to tell my dirty little secrets since the only people that read this are some family members (who love me no matter what), few friends, and complete and utter strangers. Apparently I have a big Ukraine following. :)

And really, when looking back, I feel the Facts of Life only taught me that most things could be resolved in a half hour or sometimes an hour (when an episode was continued) and that George Clooney was going to be a star. And it really made me want to have my own Mrs. Garrett. I digress. . .

I feel that sometimes (okay most times) I will always be the 13-year-old me. Never fails. When it comes to guys, I will never think that they are interested in me. Granted, I have lost my crush on Damon from the MMC, but still love Tony Lucca. I still love my family and extended family and nothing will probably change that. I still cry for no reason and I will, without fail, watch Saved by the Bell. Plus, I still talk to a good portion of the people I was friends with at 13.

However, now the 31-year-old me does creepy things, like think Zac Efron's hot and on Tues night, I flipped between the IL game and this movie called Keith. Which if you read the synopsis, sounds really stupid. . . but it had JESSE MCCARTNEY! I always thought "What a cute kid!" and then he turned 20, and I was like "Woah, he's pretty hot is he legal?". In case you feel compelled to watch the movie, it's basically A Walk to Remember but with Jesse in Mandy Moore's roll. I'm sorry I just ruined the movie for you. I guess you could probably watch both movies side by side just so you can see Shane West. . . I don't feel bad about Shane West as he's my age. . . and I do know I have a penchant for 25-year-olds because they are so trainable when you're the older one in the relationship but I can't help but feel like a creeper when I think someone that's like 9 years younger than I am is cute. Wait. . . Jesse is 25. . . totally normal now. :)

I really do feel things are getting weirder for me at 31. I will instantly stop and watch Zac Efron's movies. . .and apparently watch Jesse McCartney movies. . . and now. . . I'm almost ashamed to admit this, but I am also now having dreams about Rob Kardashian. The only male Kardashian. We're dating in my dreams apparently. Thankfully, he hasn't introduced me to Kim but I have gotten to meet Khloe. I don't even watch Keeping Up with Kardashians or Dancing with the Stars and he's in my dreams?? Maybe I need to quit watching E! News or reading my gossip mags. I don't know.

It's scaring me. . . who knows what 32 will have in store for me!

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

I need to just let this out there as in a week's time I have talked about this 3 times now. THREE. So in my mind, that's quite a bit to be a repeat convo.

So. . . well. . .

Zac Efron is hot.

And not like a little bit hot, but a lot hot. Why can't he find me irresistible on Match?

Anyway, he's in a new movie, coming out today, which is probably why he's been brought up so much. On Saturday my roommate and I were talking and she says "I have to tell you something that might be inappropriate considering all the child molestation stuff coming out, but I really think Zac Efron is hot." I said "Umm. . . yeah. . .but he's totally legal now."

Then we got to talking about when he got his hotness. We are too old for the High School Musical stuff and I can't remember what TV shows he was on off the top of my head.

I told her for me it was 17 Again. She was like "Oh yes! That was it!! Then came Charlie St. Cloud." Oooh Charlie St. Cloud. Then we both got to thinking that he might have actually been 17 while filming 17 Again, and we felt dirty.

People, I probably won't see the movie New Year's Eve because all the reviews say that it's one of the worst movies ever made. If I do watch it, it will be when it's free on tv. And I will probably only rewatch the parts with Zac Efron in them. And Josh Duhamel. I seriously stopped what I was doing and watched Win a Date with Tad Hamilton one day. I love Topher Grace too, so it was win/win, but a really horrible movie.

Seriously, why can't those guys be here in Iowa in real life??

I also realized I am going through a beard phase. Like, I won't even look at a guy who doesn't have a beard. I love No Shave November for this purpose. I talked my best guy friend into growing a beard. He still hasn't shaved it. I bet it's because I keep mentioning how hot he looks with one like every time I see him.

I really better find a guy on Match soon or else I'm going to start pretending I'm dating someone famous and just "hang out" with them by watching their movies. . . .

Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself . . .

Life is funny. Especially my life, which I constantly just have to laugh at.

Yesterday, I was having a down day as I have gotten NO response on Match besides rejections if I did get one.

Then I was walking to the restroom in my office building (and I'll admit it, I'm a speed walker) and the heel of my shoe got caught on the hem of my pants which caused me to literally dive onto the ground about 10ft from the bathroom door. Luckily no one saw me, but I'm pretty sure I yelled "FUCK!" I'm also happy I didn't wet my pants as I have a tendency to sit at my desk until the last possible minute.

Now flash forward to 10am this morning. I had just gotten done with my meeting and went to open my car door. And BAM! nothing happened but the force as to which my door did not open, caused me to jam my fingers and subsequently, rip my nail off on my middle finger down to the wick.

Then an hour later, I am walking back into the building for another meeting at my usual fast pace, when my heel gets caught in a crack in the cement and my foot comes flying out of my shoe that is not moving with the rest of my body, scraping my foot. I didn't even realize what happened until my bare foot hit the cold pavement. A guy walking out of the building said "Woah, I thought you had tripped, until I saw you walk back for your shoe!"

I can't wait until this evening! :)

I think I found a sure cure to help with my self-esteem. . .

Oh wait, just kidding. It actually makes it worse.

Due to much pressure, I finally caved and joined Match.com. The only bad problem is that I really am only on there once or twice a week. The even worse problem is that I am apparently hideous. Which would probably explain why I am single to begin with.

The one and only time I tried Online dating, I didn't really read the guy's profile. He was super persistent on getting together, so I met him for lunch. He joked that he was short and I just thought he was 5'6". He was maybe 5'4" and portly. I can do portly. I need portly and sports active like me and at least 5'6". He also told me that he let his cat eat out of his popcorn bowl. That creeped me out.

In life, I am told that I come off very confident and self-assured and whatnot. And really in every other aspect of my life besides when it comes to the opposite sex, I am confident and self-assured. Then I start to like someone or think someones cute, and I become a complete idiot and self-deprecating.

When I first joined Match, I was told to email guys right off the bat and don't wink by one guy friend but then another guy friend said that I should send out winks to everyone. I initially signed up just to see what was out there but didn't pay for the service, so really all I could do was wink which I think I only winked at a few people. Then after much deliberation, one of my friends and I joined together. We decided on the 6 month plan, and if we don't find someone, then it's 6 months free. He's getting winks, emails, and all these ladies interested in him. The funny part, is that he has ladies interested in him outside the world of online dating too.

I've had 5 winks since I initially signed up in September and NO emails since I signed up to pay a month ago. I've sent 10 emails out in that month and either no responses or immediate rejection. So, if you're wondering, this is absolutely horrible for my self-esteem. HORRIBLE. Had I not been hit on by a very drunk man on Saturday night and by a 23 month-old child on Sunday who yelled "hi" to me at the store but then wouldn't talk to me and only smile, I would be very sad.

Maybe I am supposed to be single. However, I'm pretty sure God didn't make me a great cook to waste it on just me.

Put a Fork in it. . . I'm done!

Lately, I feel the news seems to revolve around 3 things:

• Sanduskey and Penn State


• Kim Kardashian


• NBA Lockout

I am sick of hearing about all 3 and I feel all of them have one thing in common: Money.

I'll start with Sanduskey. I'm not sure what people know about my job, but I am a children's advocate. So. . . I've read many a case files about children being abused or being the abusers to other children. The things that happened at Penn State make me sick. Do I feel it's Paterno's fault?? No. Do I feel that he probably should have had a red flag pop up the many, many times that Sanduskey was alone with random boys?? Yes. When I notice a friend's behavior is off, I ask another friend or my friend themselves. It's been stated that it was common practice for Sanduskey to take young boys to away games and stay with them in the same hotel room. Games his wife wasn't there. These are not family friends. These are random young boys. That is weird. I also find it funny (but not in a haha type way) that Sanduskey stated he isn't a pedophile and that everyone horses around in the shower and takes showers after workouts. That is true. But everyone usually takes showers in the locker room with people their own age or with people who are at the gym after their workout. . . and everyone is usually in a different stall. I never remember one of my coaches showering in the locker rooms with us after a workout. That would have been weird. I'm pretty sure the reason this was all covered up was because of the money Penn State would have lost. Why else would you repeatedly turn a blind eye and enable someone like that?

Now as for the NBA Lockout: You money hungry cry babies. They are so worried that the middle level prospect will be making $400,000 less a year but don't seem to care about all the games that are being cancelled that the lower income people who are relying on the job at the venues they play at aren't making any money at all. Good for you guys! Why don't the super money makers give up some of their money to the middle levels?? That's an idea. I quit watching the NBA after the last time they were in contract negotiations. I probably will never watch them again. This is why I stick to college sports. They still have a love of the game. Granted their love of the game might be to make a big pay check later on, but. . .

The Kardashians. . . specifically Kim. I'm not going to lie here, I get sucked into Keeping up with the Kardashians and their spin-offs from time to time. One of the days that my roommie and I got sucked into watching a marathon and they were in Bora Bora it was definitely portraying Kim as a spoiled brat who also was really annoying. Yet Kris Humphries STILL proposed to her after he just said how ridiculous she was acting. Good plan. If you're annoyed now. . . wait 20 years down the line. . . and then see how annoyed you are. If I have to see one more thing on Kim and Kris and how horrible Kim feels about. . . I might explode.

I already talked about how ridiculously expensive the wedding was and they should have donated money instead. Well instead of returning the wedding gifts after 72 days of marriage, she said she would just donate all this money to charity. Really?? If I had went to that wedding, I would want my gift back. And hmmm. . .let me see. . .maybe you should have just donated that money to begin with. . . especially if this wedding turns out to be a sham. Or maybe they are just trying to drum up publicity for Kim and Kourtney take New York. I just want to know when Reality Stars got to be actual celebrities?? Anyway, if I had to pick a Kardashian, it's Khloe. She keeps it real. She admits how ridiculous her marriage happened so quickly to Lamar yet her marriage is already over a year or so old.

I am done venting. Maybe I should just quit reading the gossip pages. . . but who am I going to live vicariously through??

To the Left, to the Left

Yet another one of my friends is moving from this great place.

She, too, was one of my first friends here. I will so miss her. I went to her wedding on Friday and it was absolutely amazing. The hotel we were staying at had a bar in the basement. Not just any bar though. A dance club. . . AND a bowling alley all in one. Best bar ever. :) I think I told you about Suz as she met the love of her life almost 8 years ago in Scotland when she was studying abroad. He came to visit last year to see if there was still anything. . . and there was. It's an amazing love story for sure.

Anyway, it got me to thinking about all the people who have moved away and obviously I moved away 7+ years ago. Whose job is it in a friendship to stay in touch? The mover? Or the people who have stayed?

I realized that I'm ALWAYS the one who has tried to stay in touch. I try and stay in touch with the people who have moved and I try and stay in touch with the people who I moved away from. Who is trying to stay in touch with me?? I've realized, not a lot of people. That may sound harsh, but after talking to my cousin today, I told her I think I'm starting to turn into a grumpy old woman, and I am tired of making an effort with everyone. She told me that she's glad I do because I'm the glue that keeps everyone together.

With all this technology have we just gotten lazy?? I have called one of my friends who recently moved 3 times. I have never gotten a call back. I got an IM that said she was in traffic once and couldn't answer. . . the next day, but have yet to get an actual phone call. I will admit, I do a lot of my calling when I'm in my car. I put people on speaker phone and drive and talk away. That's the only time I have I guess.

Back when people moved, it was a joy to write letters and send cards. But now with email, people send emails and e-cards. But I'm wondering if the introduction of Facebook and Twitter has just made us all lazy because we can just look on there and see what are friends are up to. I had a friend make a comment once she was worried about me because I hadn't posted on Facebook in awhile.

I know I've heard from people lately how they were going through their Friends and deleting people. I almost feel bad about that. I mean, I know everyone I'm friends with. And there are people from high school who I don't talk to regularly, but I like to be able to look up and see what their up to, so we have a different topic of conversation at reunions besides the standard "What's going on in your life?" I already know! It's on Facebook! Then there are those friends of friends who I occasionally hang out with, and it's nice to know what they're up to since it's hard to carry on a conversation in a bar. Plus some people have really great drama that tend to broadcast it on Facebook, and I like to read it. I know you all do too! And it's a great way to stay in touch with all my relatives from near and far. But I know it's true for me that I don't call my cousins and talk like I used to even if they aren't on Facebook a lot.

I also realized that I try and make an effort to visit friends. My friend Amanda and I (she lives in FL) just met this weekend when she was in the QC visiting her family, and I was there for a wedding. I thought the wedding was elsewhere but we were still going to meet there. She and I also talk about every week, but we BOTH make that effort to stay in touch. Amanda's been here to visit me a few times, but more often we meet halfway. She was saying the next time she's back, she's going to just leave her son with her parents and come see me here again. She hasn't seen my house.

But the sad thing is that while I make an effort to see some friends when I'm home, I can only count on my hand the few friends who have actually made a trip to see me. Some it took awhile, but they finally made it. Then I have some friends/family who always come and see me more than I see them. And I feel bad. (D$ and H--that's you!) I also feel like it's a problem with friends who live here. I moved to a different neighborhood and don't hang out with my friends in the old neighborhood near as much. Mike actually warned me we wouldn't hang out as much since I was moving 15 minutes away. I seriously thought he was joking, but he wasn't. But Mike is good about stopping by when he's in my neighborhood. Granted, 3 out of 4 times I haven't been home. But it's true with me too. I'm less likely to call someone 15 minutes away to grab a drink in my hood as opposed to calling someone already there.

I love how I completely went off subject, but really, if you know me, it's nothing new. First time readers might be surprised. . . :)

I guess my point is that I think Facebook has made most people more lazy than they already are in staying in touch. Not me obviously, since I am apparently glue-like. But we all need to remember that while we have the technology to stay in touch, we need to use it. Write on someone's wall, send them a text, or an email just so that person knows you still care. Facebook isn't developed enough yet, to where you can tell who's viewing your profile yet. And thank God for that one, because we might all look like stalkers! Wait. . .maybe just me. . .

You put your right foot in. . .

I have made a huge leap.

I'm putting in my toes to test the waters.

I'm starting a new chapter maybe.

I signed up for On-line dating.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's exactly what I'm thinking. The Match.com commercials kept popping up during football, so my roommate and I decided that I should just sign up and see what's out there. So I did. And now over 2 weeks later, I was just able to get on there again. Worst Match user ever. I told people I was too busy for online dating and I was right. I'm hoping next week will be slower so I can actually like email people and whatnot. I need sleep and refuse to get on there after 10pm instead of heading to bed. Gee. . . wonder why I'm single now?? Hmmm. . .

And I haven't written anything in my blog for like a month, so really, you all know how busy I am that I can't even write during the day when I should be working.

I also find it funny the people Match thinks I would be a good match with. You like Dogs, he likes dogs. You'd be a good match. I'm a little worried. Also, it seems the only guys that show interest in me are people that I don't find interesting. There were a couple of profiles that cracked me up and those are the ones that I'm most likely going to want to get to know, but those are not the guys who send stuff that they are interested in me. I tried to be funny in my profile, and my roommate helped me write it, and we both thought I was funny. Who knows?!? It's a guessing game I suppose.

Random thoughts:

Things you guys should be worried about though. Hobby Lobby had CHRISTMAS decorations up already. It's not even Halloween. I am refusing to participate. I really can only handle one holiday thrown at me at one time. I like to savor things like Halloween candy so Christmas, you shall wait until after Thanksgiving.

I'm in trouble. I have 2 ridiculously cute nephews who are going to be able to just win me over by smiles. Look at this guy:

My Dad told me that my nephew said "Papa, I have to tell you a secret. It's a big one and you can't tell anyone. I love you the most out of anybody." My Dad said a tear rolled down his cheek. I told Dad that he wasn't supposed to tell anyone that. I also asked my Dad if it happened before or after he took Caleb to McDonald's and bought him some cars. He sure knows how to work us!

Being a favorite of my aunts and uncles, I am hoping I don't show favoritism. I try not to. But Caden actually falls asleep on me and my sister calls me the "Baby Whisperer." My biggest fear is that he'll forget about me seeing as I don't get home as much as I did when Caleb was a baby. I try and love on him as much as I can though.

Well I should probably be getting back to work. . . I actually have a lot to do still!

But before I go. . . one last story:

I have a huge crush on a bartender at the bar by my house. We actually hang out and talk from time to time outside the bar. Anyway, on Saturday, we went up there with my friends Jamie and Tim for Jamie's birthday for a few drinks.

I introduce my crush to Tim and Jamie to which Tim replies "Oh nice to finally meet you, she talks about you all the time" and then later Tim tells him that he thought his hair would be less spiky. Really Tim? Worst. Wingman. Ever. But he still gave them free drinks. ;)