To the Left, to the Left

Yet another one of my friends is moving from this great place.

She, too, was one of my first friends here. I will so miss her. I went to her wedding on Friday and it was absolutely amazing. The hotel we were staying at had a bar in the basement. Not just any bar though. A dance club. . . AND a bowling alley all in one. Best bar ever. :) I think I told you about Suz as she met the love of her life almost 8 years ago in Scotland when she was studying abroad. He came to visit last year to see if there was still anything. . . and there was. It's an amazing love story for sure.

Anyway, it got me to thinking about all the people who have moved away and obviously I moved away 7+ years ago. Whose job is it in a friendship to stay in touch? The mover? Or the people who have stayed?

I realized that I'm ALWAYS the one who has tried to stay in touch. I try and stay in touch with the people who have moved and I try and stay in touch with the people who I moved away from. Who is trying to stay in touch with me?? I've realized, not a lot of people. That may sound harsh, but after talking to my cousin today, I told her I think I'm starting to turn into a grumpy old woman, and I am tired of making an effort with everyone. She told me that she's glad I do because I'm the glue that keeps everyone together.

With all this technology have we just gotten lazy?? I have called one of my friends who recently moved 3 times. I have never gotten a call back. I got an IM that said she was in traffic once and couldn't answer. . . the next day, but have yet to get an actual phone call. I will admit, I do a lot of my calling when I'm in my car. I put people on speaker phone and drive and talk away. That's the only time I have I guess.

Back when people moved, it was a joy to write letters and send cards. But now with email, people send emails and e-cards. But I'm wondering if the introduction of Facebook and Twitter has just made us all lazy because we can just look on there and see what are friends are up to. I had a friend make a comment once she was worried about me because I hadn't posted on Facebook in awhile.

I know I've heard from people lately how they were going through their Friends and deleting people. I almost feel bad about that. I mean, I know everyone I'm friends with. And there are people from high school who I don't talk to regularly, but I like to be able to look up and see what their up to, so we have a different topic of conversation at reunions besides the standard "What's going on in your life?" I already know! It's on Facebook! Then there are those friends of friends who I occasionally hang out with, and it's nice to know what they're up to since it's hard to carry on a conversation in a bar. Plus some people have really great drama that tend to broadcast it on Facebook, and I like to read it. I know you all do too! And it's a great way to stay in touch with all my relatives from near and far. But I know it's true for me that I don't call my cousins and talk like I used to even if they aren't on Facebook a lot.

I also realized that I try and make an effort to visit friends. My friend Amanda and I (she lives in FL) just met this weekend when she was in the QC visiting her family, and I was there for a wedding. I thought the wedding was elsewhere but we were still going to meet there. She and I also talk about every week, but we BOTH make that effort to stay in touch. Amanda's been here to visit me a few times, but more often we meet halfway. She was saying the next time she's back, she's going to just leave her son with her parents and come see me here again. She hasn't seen my house.

But the sad thing is that while I make an effort to see some friends when I'm home, I can only count on my hand the few friends who have actually made a trip to see me. Some it took awhile, but they finally made it. Then I have some friends/family who always come and see me more than I see them. And I feel bad. (D$ and H--that's you!) I also feel like it's a problem with friends who live here. I moved to a different neighborhood and don't hang out with my friends in the old neighborhood near as much. Mike actually warned me we wouldn't hang out as much since I was moving 15 minutes away. I seriously thought he was joking, but he wasn't. But Mike is good about stopping by when he's in my neighborhood. Granted, 3 out of 4 times I haven't been home. But it's true with me too. I'm less likely to call someone 15 minutes away to grab a drink in my hood as opposed to calling someone already there.

I love how I completely went off subject, but really, if you know me, it's nothing new. First time readers might be surprised. . . :)

I guess my point is that I think Facebook has made most people more lazy than they already are in staying in touch. Not me obviously, since I am apparently glue-like. But we all need to remember that while we have the technology to stay in touch, we need to use it. Write on someone's wall, send them a text, or an email just so that person knows you still care. Facebook isn't developed enough yet, to where you can tell who's viewing your profile yet. And thank God for that one, because we might all look like stalkers! Wait. . .maybe just me. . .