I think I found a sure cure to help with my self-esteem. . .

Oh wait, just kidding. It actually makes it worse.

Due to much pressure, I finally caved and joined Match.com. The only bad problem is that I really am only on there once or twice a week. The even worse problem is that I am apparently hideous. Which would probably explain why I am single to begin with.

The one and only time I tried Online dating, I didn't really read the guy's profile. He was super persistent on getting together, so I met him for lunch. He joked that he was short and I just thought he was 5'6". He was maybe 5'4" and portly. I can do portly. I need portly and sports active like me and at least 5'6". He also told me that he let his cat eat out of his popcorn bowl. That creeped me out.

In life, I am told that I come off very confident and self-assured and whatnot. And really in every other aspect of my life besides when it comes to the opposite sex, I am confident and self-assured. Then I start to like someone or think someones cute, and I become a complete idiot and self-deprecating.

When I first joined Match, I was told to email guys right off the bat and don't wink by one guy friend but then another guy friend said that I should send out winks to everyone. I initially signed up just to see what was out there but didn't pay for the service, so really all I could do was wink which I think I only winked at a few people. Then after much deliberation, one of my friends and I joined together. We decided on the 6 month plan, and if we don't find someone, then it's 6 months free. He's getting winks, emails, and all these ladies interested in him. The funny part, is that he has ladies interested in him outside the world of online dating too.

I've had 5 winks since I initially signed up in September and NO emails since I signed up to pay a month ago. I've sent 10 emails out in that month and either no responses or immediate rejection. So, if you're wondering, this is absolutely horrible for my self-esteem. HORRIBLE. Had I not been hit on by a very drunk man on Saturday night and by a 23 month-old child on Sunday who yelled "hi" to me at the store but then wouldn't talk to me and only smile, I would be very sad.

Maybe I am supposed to be single. However, I'm pretty sure God didn't make me a great cook to waste it on just me.