I know. . . I promised. . .

I realize that I break a lot of promises on my blog. . . and most have them are with regards to me actually writing or finishing a post. I just don't do it. Good thing my follow through in life is better than my follow through on this blog. . . or is it?!?

Anyway, I promised no more sad blogs. But I am struggling today. Just to make it through the day. I am counting the hours until I can get home and cry. Except I will have to do that between the gym and home since my friend Rachel is coming over to hang out and have dinner.

Today, one year ago, was the last time I got to see Josie. The last time we laughed together. The last time she told me it was okay to have a mojito for lunch because this place had the best mojitos. The last time we made fun of each other. The last time I told her how much I loved her and that I knew if anyone could beat this, it was her. The last time she hugged and kissed me on the cheek goodbye. The last time we waved goodbye. The last time.

I knew that day. I knew she was really sick. I knew it would most likely be the last time I saw her. I cried the entire way home from Chicago and the minute I walked into my house, my Dad hugged me and I cried more. I just didn't want to believe it. It's that one time you wanted to be wrong. Like when you think you catch your friends husband/boyfriend kissing someone else. You pray to God it wasn't him. I wish I was wrong that time.

Last night while watching TV I just started crying. I was watching that new show Covert Affairs, so really crying was inappropriate. I was lucky that I got to spend an almost week with my family. I needed it. Even if my nephew was being a stinker. I needed hugs from my Mom and sister when I came home from work. I needed to see my aunts, uncles, and cousins from my Mom's side that never all get together anymore because the grandparents are gone. On Sunday, I needed my Mom, Dad, and sister sitting outside while the meat cooked on the grill, with us talking, laughing, and having a few adult beverages.

But I keep going back to that day. With her calling me in a panic a few hours before I was supposed to meet her because she had told me to go downtown to her office for lunch and she was working from home that day. Luckily, I wasn't too close to downtown yet so I could still head to the Northside. She forgot about the Cubs game, so I did hit some of that traffic, but that was fine. I remember Kaci's wedding and everyone asking me how she was and I kept it real. I hated that. But at least the wedding was beautiful. It just sucked that Kaci was moving across the world right after that. I was going to need her very soon. And she called me at 1am her time, days after Jos died, to talk to me.

I get to see Kaci and Steph next week. I am beyond pumped. One, Steph's never visited me here. And Kaci only saw my house on the way through moving back from Seattle. That was one great road trip. I flew out to Seattle and rode back with Kaci as she moved back to Chicago. And they both get to see my new house. It's going to be. . .Legend. . . wait for it. . . ary.

I also found out today that one of my best guy friends, Brophy, is moving to Madison, WI. I will miss him. We haven't gotten to hang out a lot this summer, but how will Sunday Funday survive without him?!? He's the one that plans it. I told him he sucks and that I will miss him very much. I also had to double pinky swear that I would come visit soon. I suppose I could do that. I've only ever driven through Madison.

Maybe I hate change. Maybe. But that's what life is. Changes. What good would I be if it stayed the same?? I would never have met Brophy if I hadn't moved here. There are a lot of awesome people I wouldn't have met. And for that I'm thankful. It just sucks.

Need to Vent

I'm really hoping my friend doesn't read my blog. . . I'm pretty sure she doesn't but. . . I need to say something to her.

My open opinion to my friend who was recently dumped*:

I know that many times I keep telling you over and over to not talk to him. And I know I am right. And no matter how many times you keep telling me how he's your best friend and you're always friends with your exes so you can't quit talking to him, here's why you should not talk to him for awhile:

1) He told you that he's thinking of maybe asking some girl(s) out from his office because they seemed interested in him. He broke up with you 2 weeks before that.

2) He keeps telling you that somethings missing and there's no spark but maybe it will work out later on with you guys.

• Ummm. . . he's basically telling you that he doesn't want to be with you, but if he can't find someone else then maybe it will work out. And here you keep talking to him like old times with the hope that maybe he'll come around.

3) He's not your friend. He's a jerk. For these reasons:

• If he was your friend, he would have openly shouted from the mountain tops that you were his girlfriend. After you two went on vacation to a tropical place, he still didn't tell anyone you two were dating.
• Also, when I had said something to his co-workers about you two dating, and they were in shock, and I told you and you and him talked about it, he said "well after you move here, we can officially say we're together, why do it now??" If he was your friend, he would care about your feelings, and tell his old co-workers that he liked you a lot, but since you two live far away from each other, you didn't want to make it official.
• When you officially applied for a job to move there and then the day before you found out if you got it, he broke up with you telling you there was something missing, and he didn't want to be with you anymore.
• If he was really your friend, he would tell you to move on and get over him. He wouldn't keep telling you that maybe there's a chance sometime in the future.

4) He sucks. Period.

Okay, that's all I have to say. I'm sorry if it hurts, but it's the truth. A sad truth that I know all too well. Heck, I've been him. I've said things like that even when I didn't want to be with that person because I couldn't be honest with them and the thought of hurting their feelings hurt more. But you know what?? He already hurt your feelings. He's a coward, and he's leading you on. You know after a month or 2 if something is missing in a relationship. Since you've dated off and on for 3 years, he should have known by now.

I love you and I don't want you to get hurt more than you already are. He was selfish when he moved and told you the night that another guy hit on you that he was in love with you and I think it was mainly because this guy had hit on you. You deserve better. You deserve some guy who asks you to go on vacation and then will admit to his friends that you're dating.

Sincerely,

Me. Been there, done that.

*I use the term dumped instead of broken up with since he literally dumped her as they had even looked at houses to move in to if she got the job there.

Reality Check

I know what I'm about to say might offend some people, and for that I am truly sorry. . . but I need to get this off my chest.

I hate Reality TV. *gasp!

I know. I know. I'm all for juicy stories and everything but Reality TV has changed over the years. It's not the same as when I first started watching the Real World New York. I mean, people didn't do it for the fame. . . they did it, just to do it. Well except maybe Eric Nies who subsequently went on to some other things. Maybe Survivor, Big Brother, and Amazing Race have stayed the same . . . but not the others. The Hills is completely fake. I want my Laguna Beach back. Not the ones with Lauren's sister. Those were horrible.

The first Housewives they came out with, was a guilty little pleasure. Now it's out of control. And now I don't watch any of them. I mean there's 2 of them and I'm not sure which show but Bethanny Frankel (sp?) and Danielle Staub that are seriously just fame whores.

I remember growing up where you were actually famous for doing something like sports, being on tv, being in the movies, or for some heroic deed. Now there are all these Reality TV people acting like mega stars. . . but you know?? You're not a star by any means. You're a fame whore. I think that's why I can't watch Jersey Shore. It hurts. I simply just can't watch Reality TV anymore.

Now don't get me wrong. . . I love my food reality shows on the Food Network and the Travel Channel. One of my favorites besides Man vs Food is Three Sheets. . . I'm pretty sure that's not a reality series. . . but it kind of is. . . Just watch it though. It's airing on the Travel Channel at 10 and 10:30pm Central Time on Wednesdays for awhile. If enough people watch it, they are going to start making new episodes. Please do this!

That's my beef with Reality TV. I miss the old original Reality TV. I do. I love the original sitcoms. I'm glad they're making some good ones.

Now let's talk about Lindsay Lohan. She is a spoiled brat who has horrible parents. The End.

Having bad parents doesn't make you a bad person. I should clarify that. Having really good parents also doesn't necessarily mean you'll turn out good. I've seen it both ways. But what I will say is that if you are saying how horrible it is that your daughter has to go do jail and the judge is just being hard on her because she's a celebrity, you should read this thing we call "the law." It clearly states in the law that if you are put on probation instead of going to jail and you break the probation, you will go to jail. I know people that this has happened to. He was on probation for a DUI charge. He got caught driving 3 times when his license was suspended. The judge was very lenient on him and since he had a great job, said "I will put you on a curfew" so sort of like home confinement and had a curfew. And you know what?? He broke it one weekend, and what do you know?? He was sentenced to 30 days jail. He only served 15 days. . . but still. . .He broke the law and his probation terms and had to go to jail. I did also make fun of him for say thinking he was above the law and such on a repeated basis. But still. . . he learned not to be a douche.

Okay, enough talking about her. . .I'm done! :)

I got to meet Ingrid Michaelson on Thursday. It was pretty awesome and she's an awesome singer.

I think that's all I got! Hope all is well!

That's a Lovely Scent You're Wearing. . .

First things first as I have been horribly busy and haven't had time to put anything up:



I think that I am the only person in the history of house buying who has never taken a day or 2 off of work to move and then been out of town every weekend since. And let me tell you. . . I still haven't fully unpacked. My goal this weekend is to at least get the spare bedroom unpacked and in order. Then I can breathe a little and work on the stuff downstairs. I did get the kitchen unpacked and most of my bedroom stuff. I still have a ton of boxes though. It will get done. As one of my friends said "I wouldn't worry about it. You'll be here for a few years." True. True.

Anyway, what brings me to the topic at hand has to do with my house. I keep wondering what the smell is in my house. Last night it was the shrimp fajitas I made. But I wonder what people smell when they walk into my house. As a person, I am told that I smell good on a regular basis, so I would hope my house smells good too. But I have no idea. My friends growing up always said they loved the way our house smelled and honestly the only time I noticed its scent was when we'd be gone for vacation and then it would fade.

But then that brings me to other things. Like how your grandparents smelled and such. My one Gramps wore Old Spice and every time I smell it, I think of him. Or Lilacs always remind me of my other Grandma because she loved them. My Dad always used to wear some weird cologne which I can't remember the name and now I think he wears something completely different like Drakkar or something.

Or how you're out and then you get a whiff of cologne and it reminds me you of an ex boyfriend. I hate that one. Especially if it's a recent break up so the smell makes you want to cry almost instantaneously. That's the worst.

This past weekend I was in the Windy City. Soo close to home that I could smell it almost. :) My dear friend Josie loved clothes. She loved shopping especially at thrift stores and she never threw her clothes away. She had style. Anyway, last weekend her husband did a thing called "Josie's Closet" where a bunch of her good friends got together and went through her closet and took things that they wanted. It was one of her wishes that her friends would get a piece of her. As Josie was way smaller than me and even if it was a miracle that I could fit into her pants, they would be crop pants as she was like 4 inches shorter than me. Miraculously I fit into a dress. I think she got it when she was jacked up on testosterone and was bigger for awhile. I took mostly jewelry and some scarves. Out of curiosity, I smelled a scarf, and it smelled like her. I then wondered if her husband John curled up with some of her things.

He said in order to be able to move on, he had to get rid of almost everything. Josie died in the place they shared, and he said everything reminds him of her and soon he'll be moving to a smaller apartment and there's no use in keeping everything they shared. And it's been almost a year, he needs to start. I worry about him. Anyway, as souvenirs of our day, we got wine glasses that said "Josie's Closet" and her mom, sister, and sister-in-law made wine glass charms for the glasses from beads she had.

Man, I got way off target. How are you all smelling today?? :)

Hopefully soon I'll have some wacky house adventures for you all, but for right now. . . that's all I got!

Have a good rest of the week and a great weekend!

Oh and I did have one more thing to add as this has come up like 5 times in less than a week. If you have Starz and like to watch shows that make you feel awkwardly uncomfortable watching the characters, then you need to watch Party Down. John and I were talking about True Blood and he giving me a hard time about missing the premiere since I would be driving back home at the time it was on, and we got to talking about Party Down. Then he said "Man, I feel like you need to be their spokesman." It's true. Watch it. It's funny. And if you liked Dawson Creek, Joey's college professor that she dated is in it, except he's absolutely NOTHING like his character on that show.

Tonight. . . Tonight. . .

I think the title needs to be song ala Smashing Pumpkins. . .

Anyway, tonight is the first night I'll be staying in my new house! Eeeek!!! All my furniture gets moved in today. I can't wait! I'm super excited. And nervous. And excited.

It's a mixture of things really!!!

Happy Hump Day!!

Send me on my way. . . .

I don't know why but that Rusted Root song is in my head. . . I don't know why. But now, dear readers, it can be in YOUR head! :)


Things that have happened to me since I last wrote. . . (and I'm not counting Mother's Day!)

I am closing on my house May 24th!! EEEEEKKKKK!!! This maybe one of the scariest things I have ever done on my own. I am completely terrified and excited all at the same time. I won't be all moved in until the first weekend in June though, but nonetheless, I need to get packing now. Yeah, I should have most everything packed. I do not. :)

I won tickets and a private concert with the band NeedtoBreathe. Click here if you don't know who they are. But they are awesome and are very talented!! And put on one helluva show! :)

I had an awkward moment at my favorite Mexican place with Kattie. Dean was seated with his girlfriend at the table right next to our booth. His back was right next to me the whole night. I held off pushing or kicking it. You see either he has turned into a complete and utter jerk (Or always has been) or his girlfriend doesn't let him call or hang out with me. And I thought we were friends. It's weird. I've never had a break up with a friend. Well once I did, but it's because she moved away and became a little crazy. . . so. . . not my fault. Then the next week Kattie ran into her ex-boyfriend. We decided we are never going there on Thursdays ever again even if it IS our favorite place.

My nephew is still adorable.

My Grandpa still rocks. I get off the phone with him sometimes, and I just want to squeeze him!

Did I mention I'm closing on my house?!? EEEKK!! I looked at about 80+ houses, I hope this one is good!

Apparently, one of my favorite guys got married over the weekend. I will always love you Jensen Ackles. :)

I also noticed I'm over a few things:

• Facebook--I post status updates from my phone now and then and comment on status updates but I don't look at people's profiles anymore. Not sure why either. It's weird. I used to LOVE it!!!



• Rachel Uchitel--I wasn't ever really fascinated with her, but now that it's come out that one of my favorite people (David Boreanaz) was in an affair with her, I really just want to punch her in the face. Now I'm not getting on my soap box of how cheating is wrong as I have been pursued by a married man before and heavily contemplated the risks involved, but in the end, if the roles were reversed, I'd kill the other woman. Plus he can't give you what a real relationship should. His time and energy. And I'd been cheated on before and it's not fun. And if he's married, he's automatically cheating on you all the time. Anyway, what gets me about her is that she made the statement that David pursued her. Really?!? I find it funny that married men keep pursuing you. You're not cute. But what's even funnier, is that she wanted to blackmail him to keep quiet. And according to the texts that were "leaked" she got pissed at him for spending time with his WIFE. Yeah, so that tells me that you're an idiot. Unless the guy has an open marriage, his first priority will most likely always be his wife. I wonder if Jensen Ackles has an open marriage. I'd be for that! :) Anyway, you're stupid and I'm upset that you have now extended your prior 15 minutes of fame. If you accept money for sex, you're a prostitute. I'm not sure what it's called when you ask for hush money to keep quiet though for having sex. Either way, here's a heads up famous men, if Rachel Uchitel asks to sleep with you, run away. Far, far away.


• Lindsay Lohan--There really isn't anything else to say besides whoever is her keeper is a complete idiot. What manager in their right mind would tell her to go to Cannes when her court date was soo soon?!? I hope she goes to jail and not the jail famous people go to for less than 24 hours because the jail is supposedly overcrowded. I mean, she needs to go there for like a year. That girl apparently thinks she's above the law seeing as she missed depositions and was late for one she actually showed up for. Her Mom should be fired. She already fired her Dad.

I do realize that the post date on this will say Monday. But I started to write it and just now got back to it. So it's Friday, and I'm not even close to being done packing. YUCK. I wanted to be mostly packed and ready to go besides my furniture. I have to dog sit overnight for Max E. Pad* on Tuesday, but then on Wed, I'm hoping to have the majority of my boxes moved. Can I just say I hate moving, and since I've lived at my current place for 3 1/2 years, it's ridiculous?!?

When I was packing I came across these polaroid pictures from when Josie, John, and I went boating when they were trying to set me up with that one guy. They were great pics of Josie and I. I miss her. I'm sure she'd like my house. Maybe I can still get John to visit!!

Happy Weekend Everyone!!

*I call my friend Sarah and Mike's dog Max, Max E Pad because I find it hilarious. Sarah does too. Mike does not. haha!

Happy Mother's Day!!

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mommies out there!!

Happy Mother's Day to mine too! While I am sad that I couldn't be there with you this weekend, I hugged and kissed you through the phone this morning. Hopefully the flowers I sent meant a lot to you and when you look at them, you know I'm there in spirit!

Love you Mom!! Thank you for all you do.

Love, me

XOXOXOXOXO