I am here. . . sort of. . .

I have a wrap up of my Holidays but decided it was kind of depressing, but then thought that maybe I should just post it anyway because the content was sincere. So I may still post it anyway or figure out a way to make it not so sappy and make you want to cry and hold a box of kleenex.

My parents are in Hawaii right now. I kind of hate them. They are really nice about calling and sending pictures to my phone though. Thanks Mom and Dad!

What I really was getting on to write about was an article I read today that while I may have already known this, it's hard to read things in print. And that I may need an intervention.

Mixed signal #5: He's always complimenting you and taking you on lots of "dates," but he doesn't even try to kiss you on the lips.
Let's get something straight: Most guys aren't interested in being just friends. If he's whispering lots of sweet nothings and treating you to nice dinners or fun outings, then he's into you—but he's scared that you don't feel the same. "Lots of guys are so afraid of rejection that they can't make that first move," says Feinstein. It'll be up to you to get the ball rolling, she says. "You may think that your interest in him is obvious, but you'll need to send some unambiguous clues that you want things to get physical," she says. So try going for a kiss yourself, or, if that's not your style, try some subtle moves: holding his hand, standing or sitting a wee bit closer to him than normal, or (here's the clincher) letting your eyes linger on his lips while he's talking to you. All clear signs that you're saying, kiss me you fool!

For people that don't know me all that well, this may seem like something that most people may know or figure out or maybe even have this happen to them once or twice. This happens to me on a regular basis. I mean, at the current moment, I could have this situation with 3 guys. Maybe all 3 like me and I wouldn't have a clue. I do know one kind of likes me and I kind of like him, so we have a definite one. In college, this was going on with about 10 different guys. All my good guy friends. All treated me to dinner and movies, out at the bars, walks to get coffee, ice cream, etc. I had guy friends who taped different tv shows for me while I had class at night. One that would pick me up at my night class on days it was raining or there was snow on the ground. My sister would always joke that I didn't need a boyfriend with different guy friends around doing things a boyfriend would do like fix my car or help me hang pictures or move furniture. And she was right. Maybe this is why I automatically make guys' my friends. Because I never realized they wanted or more and I, myself, was scared to lose that friendship. Who knows. I do think I need an intervention. Maybe I need to find more assertive guys??

I thought I would give you a Wine Rep update. The Friday before I left for Christmas, some friends and I went out and he happened to get off work early. Well I have apparently become oblivious to his charms as of lately because as he was walking by me to go talk to one of his friends, he nuzzled my neck and kissed me on the cheek and I didn't even stop talking to my two friends while he did it. Which then prompted MJ to say "Wait, did he just kiss you on the cheek??" to which Emily said "I wasn't even going to mention it!" I said "No, I don't think so." And they both were like "Ummm, yeah, totally kissed you on the cheek while you were in conversation!" I'm oblivious to him. Oblivious. I guess that's what happens when you make plans with me and ditch out like 4 months ago and I make you my friend instead. Apparently it's going to take you more than a month to get me to notice you otherwise. Even though deep down I really do want something to come of this. Plus Wine Rep made bonus points for talking to me on Christmas Eve (but while he was driving in bad weather, which wasn't good) and for asking me to do something before I could ask him! And for saying he really wanted to hang out. Which didn't happen because I had plans I was inviting him to. He did want me to try and fit him in for a bit though between our plans. How cute!! Baby steps though. . . baby steps. . .