Do as I say. . .not as I do. . . or had done. . .or whatever that saying is. . .

Have you ever given people advice and then think "Oh I hope that it turns out exactly opposite of what happened when someone gave me that same advice and I took it?"

I also don't know why people come to me with love advice.  Ummm. . . we're friends, so you're completely and utterly aware that I have no love life right??  

Anyway, I tend to get myself in these awkward friendships with guys that ultimately turn into this "Will they? Won't they?" scenarios.  The latter usually being "They won't."  I always had friends say to me "you guys should date.  Would you date him??  If so, just tell him how you feel (especially in the case when feeling were there).  However, I seriously gave my friend the advice of not losing something that seems so great due to a friendship because it's far worse than not knowing what could have been. 

I. Completely. Lied.  

The one time I actually came out with "I have feelings for you," I was shot down faster than it took me to get the words out.  Well maybe not that fast. . . but pretty quickly.  I was so heart broken.  It crushed me.  I mean literally crushed me.  I have no idea why I gave her this advice either.  I know that I really think it will turn out differently than my situation. . . although hers is very similar to what mine was like.  It's probably the optimistic romantic in me.  I am the exception to the rule in all cases and I've learned to accept that.  :)

However, I did run into this guy on Saturday, and he was telling me about something sweet he did for her. . . so I'm thinking she will fair better than I did.

And on that note. . .

I feel that everyone should volunteer.  If not for the benefit of knowing you helped someone less fortunate, but for the sheer value of just helping. . . or in my case, I volunteered at Baconfest this past weekend.  And they stuck me and my friends at a bar so I ended up bartending for like 5+ hours.  It was awesome.  The guy in charge of our bar didn't want us to leave, which is why we worked a few hours after our shift.  I am pretty positive I will volunteer next year as well.  We definitely contributed to the intoxication of hundreds if not thousands of people.  Wait. . . I can actually say thousands because it's an over 21 event AND the 8,000 tickets available for purchase sold out in under 4 minutes.  It's insane.  If you don't like bacon, I would probably not go to this event.  If you love bacon. . . you will actually get sick of it by the end.  But it's delicious.  :)  I had the best slice of pizza with the oddest combo on it imaginable.  It was called "the Elvis" from Gusto here, and it had a peanut butter sauce, topped with bananas, bacon, and cheese.  It sounds absolutely horrible, but before we started we gave them some Bloody Marys in exchange for some slices, and let me tell you, that was the first thing I went back for when I was finally able to walk around because I only got a bite the first time.

I also think I missed my calling in being a bartender.  I was a barista in college at a small cafe and then was a barista at Starbucks for almost 3 years.  I do have the innate ability to have people yell 3+ mixed drinks at me and be able to make them without question.  Granted, most of the ones made were Bloody Marys but we had regular, bacon (bacon Bloody Mary mix) , or bacon bacon (Bacon vodka, bacon Bloody Mary mix).  But I mean sometimes people wanted to try the cucumber vodka with the Bloody Mary instead.  I had about 7 Pearl Vodka flavors and often people would ask what is good with them.  My favorite was part blueberry vodka, part orange vodka, and lemonade.  It was really refreshing.  Oh I might have gotten to drink on the job. . . in fact, our manager encouraged it.

I'm looking forward to a calm weekend for sure.

Have a good one everyone!  :)      

Just stating the obvious. . .

I am a hopeless romantic.  HOPELESS.  Those who know me, know that someday, I keep hoping my life will be that rom-com.  I do know that now, well into my 30s, my life will not turn into a rom-com.

However, after having a conversation with a good friend, I realized. . . I might actually get my rom-com.  Or at least my romance/tragedy movie.  You see. . . I made a pact with one of my good guy friends that we would get married when I was 34.  Which I thought seemed so far away. . . until I realized I am frickin 33.  I haven't seen Jake in huge YEARS.  I'm talking like 6 years.

What are the odds that he remembers this?

I mean, in my head, this is how my rom-com would play out:

I am randomly minding my own business and my phone rings from a number I don't know.  I answer it, and he says "Hey, we haven't talked in a while, but I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to marry you."  Then we start this long distant talking back and forth.  And we pick up where our friendship left off.  Then my 34th birthday comes, and he comes to see me.  He gets down on one knee and proposes. We marry and live happily ever after.

However, my life has never been this simple.  I don't ever realize when a guy is interested in me, let alone, think I would ever have a chance with a guy I could possibly be interested in.  These last couple of weeks, I keep running into a guy who I had the biggest crush on.  I hadn't thought of him in ages and BAM! I literally run into him everywhere.   It's really starting to creep me out.  Like what if Fate is telling me "Hey, don't forget about him."  haha!  If only it worked like that.

Then on Tuesday, a friend of a friend needed a euchre partner and I said I would play with him.  Ummm. . . he is gorgeous.  And tall.  And Funny.  And he actually knows where my hometown is.  And people from my hometown.  And I know pretty much his entire life story in those 3 hours we played.  I, however, did forget to say get his last name.  Who does that?? I do.  My flirting consisted of me high-five-ing him after every hand we won.  I don't have game anytime, let alone playing euchre.  I do know where he works, where he went to college, and where he lives.  So I'm sure I could easily find him.  But how creepy would that be?
I hadn't watched HIMYM yet this week and they had a whole episode about it.  When does the action go from Dobler to Dahmer?  When are you John Cusak in Say Anything and when are you being Jeffery Dahmer?  With internet these days, there is definitely a fine line.  And there's always this peace of me when I meet someone, I wonder if they are googling me like I am googling them.

And now I'm starting to ramble and my friends who read this are starting to wonder if they should worry about me and get restraining orders for any future men in my life. . . ;)

It's my Party and I'll cry if I want to. . .

I went to go write a blog post and that's the phrase that pops in my head. . . awkward.

I've been busy people.  Busy.  I think I'm going to state something I've been noticing as a trend. . . when I first started reading blogs. . . everyone was blogging and updating their blog like every day. . . sometimes numerous times and I would be soo excited to read them.  Then more and more people I think joined Facebook and less blogging happened. . . then I'm guessing these same awesome writers joined twitter so then they had all these other outlets to pour out their hilariousness so then they don't update their blogs every day.  That or they got married and had kids, and apparently kids are time consuming. . .

I've never been a daily updater. . . so I'm at least safe from ridicule, right??

I turned 33 yesterday.  I feel old.  Man, do I feel old.  I'm getting to the age where I wish I had a crystal ball that would tell me my future. . . because honestly at 22, I thought my life would be different.  It also makes it pretty obvious I am not in control of my life.  If I was, Channing Tatum and I would be happy together with like 3 kids.  

My New Year's Resolution was to "not sweat the small stuff" and to not take things personally.  If you're a long time reader, you will remember that I like to make my resolution rhyme with the year, but you try and rhyme thirteen with something creative.

I realized that I take things way to personally.  This really became apparent while doing online dating and it only made me feel ugly and undateable.  I instantly went with "why am I not pretty enough for this guy" or "what's wrong with my profile that he won't respond" or "what's wrong with me."  And then my guy friend said something to me as we were driving to the bar (and as a visual, he poked me in the head) "Your problem isn't with the guys that don't want you and what's wrong with you.  It's in your head (which is when he poked me) because you don't see what all the rest of us see.  You don't see how funny, pretty, and caring you are, and you can't expect a guy to see that if you don't."   This was the same guy that was mad at me for doing online dating in the first place.  I tried telling him how I grew up with everyone always telling me how beautiful my sister was and I was always this fat, ugly version of her.  I showed him a picture which then caused him to hit me and say "Oh my God. . . you look exactly alike you idiot."   As I type that out, I'm starting to realize he might be an abusive friend.  :)   But he's right.  I was telling Wyatt about it and he said "Umm, thanks for listening to someone you've been friends with for a few years and not listening to me for like the last 10."

So that's basically what I'm working on this year.  I do take things personally and automatically think "what's wrong with me" when it's really "What's wrong with that person??"  I really don't know what happened to the little confidence I did have.  I'm thinking the weight I gained the last few years ate it.  I realized that I never work on myself either.  It's a habit.  I'm always wanting to help other people and not help myself.  So I'm doing that too.

I'm also really beginning to see the reason certain things happen.  And happy they happened that way.  If, 6+ years ago, I would have told the guy I was in love with, I was indeed in love with him when we asked, would  my life be different??  I've seen the way he's changed and not in a good way.  And I couldn't imagine being with the person he's become.  All the guys I've "dated" over the years have each taught me something about what I do and don't want in a guy.

I'm also stuck in a job that I love but without any love back from my company.  Yet, yesterday I got an email that said "You are a miracle worker and a blessing to me. Thanks for all you do for the youth, and for answering all my questions."  I know I'm good at my job and I know the people that really matter know that.  Now if they could give me raises, that would be nice, but. . . baby steps.  They do send me jobs I might be interested in from time to time because even they hate my boss.  I'm sure what I do could definitely be leading me somewhere else. . . we shall see.  

Happy New Year everyone. . . hopefully I can keep my resolution all year!  :) 

Still Here!

I wish I could tell you that I was on some awesome adventure. . . I haven't been.

I'm just finding time now and then to catch up on life.  Kickball started and we're losing.  I am not used to this. But I'm also playing with a team full of people who haven't played kickball since grade school and don't know how to appropriately run the bases to win games.  ;)  But we're having fun and that's the important thing!

I discovered some things from the last time I wrote:

• The Lumineers--Seriously where have I been that I just NOW know who they are.  I love them. 
• My nephew Caden keeps getting cuter.  He keeps "kissing" me on the phone.  
• The one thing that's good about the upcoming election is that I keep getting political emails which I fact check before I form an opinion being an Independent and all.  I also discovered that all of those emails hold no truth, but I learned something like actual facts, so that's good.  I also can't figure out why others don't fact check such things before they hit Forward.  (On a complete side note, most of these non-factual emails are all against the current administration which I also found to be really odd.) 
• Things that make me think the actual President isn't all that bad. . .in Sioux City, IA on a stop, he stopped at a local dive bar to just have a beverage and talk to people.  He held up some friends of friends going to a wedding reception by doing so as they had just stopped in for a drink between the wedding and the reception.  He ended up writing a congratulatory note to the Bride and Groom AND a "I'm sorry your friends are now late to your reception" note as well.  The best part:  He was at a dive bar and not like an upscale bar.  Also, while in Des Moines recently, he was at another stop and incidentally held up a wedding.  Turns out he and Michelle sent a gift to the Bride and Groom and a "I'm sorry note." The Bride was a Republican and said while she was most annoyed, it was very thoughtful they sent her a beautiful gift.  But she still wasn't going to vote for him.  haha!   It doesn't matter what affiliation you are, you have to admit that is pretty cool on 2 levels.  
• One thing my Dad and I do agree on politically at the moment is that everyone in Congress needs to not be re-elected, and we should just start over there.
• I watched this show on Starz called Boss.  Claire from 90210 is in it but if you're expecting innocent, be prepared to see her boobs at least 3 times every episode.   Kelsey Grammer stars in it.  He plays the mayor of Chicago.  I asked a friend is it's somewhat close to accurate to which I was told, some of it for sure!  If you like corruption, mob like stuff, and pure "woah" factor, this is the show for you.   

Until we meet again! 

I'm about to piss some people off. . .

I have to vent. . . and stand up on a soap box.  We are all entitled to an opinion, but lately. . . things have gotten out of control. . . especially with this upcoming presidential election and honestly, I haven't seen anything but the other side bashing the other side.  When did we stop becoming a Government for the People by the People?  WHEN???

And what really bugs me are issues that each side takes up and honestly, while it's an important issue, it really shouldn't be the issue that it is for one reason:  Our Fore Fathers established a Separation of Church and State for a reason and it's written in the First Amendment which states:  Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.

Marriage quit being a religious issue when you could be legally married by a Justice of the Peace.  Or when state governments started recognizing common law marriages.  Or even better yet, when you could become an ordained minister online for $19.95 just to officiate a ceremony.  Did you know you could be an Atheist and be an ordained minister online?

Back when my Mom was in college. . . and this was the late 60s. . . It was almost unheard of that people of different religions got married.  My own Grandma had a problem with my Mom dating a Catholic. . . because we were Lutheran.  She didn't approve and couldn't support it if they were to have gotten married.  Now my Lutheran cousin is married to someone who is Jewish.  GASP!  :)

I think this all got me thinking a lot this last week because I have gay friends who are in committed relationships (and I just saw the play Rent on Friday), but you shouldn't dislike/hate someone because of who they love.  I, of all people, know you can't help who you love.  How many times have we really pondered why someone we know is with a certain someone???  I usually am just attracted to douche bags.  :)  But that's why you should dislike/hate someone. . . because they did something horrible to you and treated you like crap and killed your puppy.  That's a good reason to not like someone.  They are a jerk.  It makes sense.

I just don't understand how these so-called "Christians" speak of all this hate when they talk about how marriage is only between a man and woman because it's in the Bible.  The Bible also says you should love everyone and says to forgive.  Maybe people should start putting THAT on the signs back to those people.

I just think that same sex marriages should be legal. . . and leave it up the church to decide if it should be religious.  Because in America (and I'm guessing all over the world) not all marriages are religious ceremonies anymore.  So if we are supposed to have this separation of church and state, and kids get in trouble for praying in school before tests because of religion, then we need to take the church out of marriage because it's not there anymore anyway, and let the Church decide what they want to do with it.  And let our government get back to being for the people and for equality for all.

And end rant.  

Oooh Kobe. . .

Did anyone see that Kobe Bryant made the comment that the '12 USA Team could beat the '92 USA "Dream" Team?

I'm sorry Kobe Bryant. . . You guys are admittedly good.  But there's one thing that you're forgetting:  This '12 Team is a bunch of pre-Madonna, cry babies.   You will never play as good as they did since most of you have huge egos.

The Dream Team had talent and they worked well as a team.  They played with heart. . .they cared about the game and the love of the game.

I loved how Michael Jordan laughed about what Kobe said.  I would too.  Kobe Bryant will never be as good as Michael Jordan.  Michael Jordan was larger than life before the internet, before social media, heck, before the media tuned in on every single thing.

They were legends, not because they were holding press conferences of their next move, but because of their talent.  They were talented plain and simple.  The guys on the '12 Team, learned things from watching the guys on the Dream Team.

His statement his team would beat them, proves how arrogant Kobe is.

I hope that Deron Williams takes Kobe aside at some point and says "Dude, you're an idiot."  Deron Williams, while he might not get the hype that Kobe does, I feel is a better player inside and out.  And you know why??  Because he actually realizes there is no "I" in Team.  Because if you ever watched him play college ball, he passed almost as much as he shot.  And when someone else wasn't hitting shots, he took over making them.

I'm sorry Kobe Bryant but you will never be as good as Jordan. . . can you make an MLB baseball team too???

I'm Weird. . and I know it. . . .

To people who are normal readers of this blog and/or know me in person, you know that I am not quite right. . . but in a good way.

I act like I'm a 12-year-old girl around the guys I like.  I get nervous and either get diarrhea of the mouth or just say really awkward things.  It's a sickness all much.  Maybe I should call it "12-year-old girl Syndrome" or something.

I know random Pop Culture facts and can surely kick your ass in "Six Degrees of Separation of Kevin Bacon."

These are facts.

But lately, I've been a believer of some weird things. . . especially my dreams.  The other day, I'm pretty sure that I half-way controlled my dream.  I was in my house getting ready in my bathroom and at some point I said to myself "This is a dream!"  And the next thing I knew, I had a pool in my backyard.

I'm also had this weird six sense which I've talked about a few times on here.  But on Wednesday night, I dreamt of my Grandparents who have passed away.  We were in their old house.  My Grandma, sister, and my Mom were all laying in my Grandparents bed which is something we all used to do when Grandma was putting something away or looking for something.  We'd sit or lay on their bed and talk to her.  Anyway, my Grandpa comes into the room and I get up to give him a hug.  As he's hugging me, he asks me how the dating thing is going and I said "Ugh!  Disappointing!  No attraction to any of the guys I've gone on a date with."  And then he tells me that it will be okay and that I just need to have patience.  "It will happen.  I promise," he said.

Cut to yesterday when this guy I had been talking to on Match, all of a sudden emailed me out of the blue saying he was officially moved back and wanted to meet if I was still fishing.  It was just weird.

Sometimes dreams have meanings in them like when you dream of being pregnant (when you aren't).  Which was also my dream on Sunday night.  Apparently when you dream of being pregnant (and you aren't) it symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing.  It could also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project, or goal.  I do hope it means something and it's something about my personal life.  :) It's just a lot of weird coincidences that I find it hard to believe it's not something. . . .