To the Left, to the Left

Yet another one of my friends is moving from this great place.

She, too, was one of my first friends here. I will so miss her. I went to her wedding on Friday and it was absolutely amazing. The hotel we were staying at had a bar in the basement. Not just any bar though. A dance club. . . AND a bowling alley all in one. Best bar ever. :) I think I told you about Suz as she met the love of her life almost 8 years ago in Scotland when she was studying abroad. He came to visit last year to see if there was still anything. . . and there was. It's an amazing love story for sure.

Anyway, it got me to thinking about all the people who have moved away and obviously I moved away 7+ years ago. Whose job is it in a friendship to stay in touch? The mover? Or the people who have stayed?

I realized that I'm ALWAYS the one who has tried to stay in touch. I try and stay in touch with the people who have moved and I try and stay in touch with the people who I moved away from. Who is trying to stay in touch with me?? I've realized, not a lot of people. That may sound harsh, but after talking to my cousin today, I told her I think I'm starting to turn into a grumpy old woman, and I am tired of making an effort with everyone. She told me that she's glad I do because I'm the glue that keeps everyone together.

With all this technology have we just gotten lazy?? I have called one of my friends who recently moved 3 times. I have never gotten a call back. I got an IM that said she was in traffic once and couldn't answer. . . the next day, but have yet to get an actual phone call. I will admit, I do a lot of my calling when I'm in my car. I put people on speaker phone and drive and talk away. That's the only time I have I guess.

Back when people moved, it was a joy to write letters and send cards. But now with email, people send emails and e-cards. But I'm wondering if the introduction of Facebook and Twitter has just made us all lazy because we can just look on there and see what are friends are up to. I had a friend make a comment once she was worried about me because I hadn't posted on Facebook in awhile.

I know I've heard from people lately how they were going through their Friends and deleting people. I almost feel bad about that. I mean, I know everyone I'm friends with. And there are people from high school who I don't talk to regularly, but I like to be able to look up and see what their up to, so we have a different topic of conversation at reunions besides the standard "What's going on in your life?" I already know! It's on Facebook! Then there are those friends of friends who I occasionally hang out with, and it's nice to know what they're up to since it's hard to carry on a conversation in a bar. Plus some people have really great drama that tend to broadcast it on Facebook, and I like to read it. I know you all do too! And it's a great way to stay in touch with all my relatives from near and far. But I know it's true for me that I don't call my cousins and talk like I used to even if they aren't on Facebook a lot.

I also realized that I try and make an effort to visit friends. My friend Amanda and I (she lives in FL) just met this weekend when she was in the QC visiting her family, and I was there for a wedding. I thought the wedding was elsewhere but we were still going to meet there. She and I also talk about every week, but we BOTH make that effort to stay in touch. Amanda's been here to visit me a few times, but more often we meet halfway. She was saying the next time she's back, she's going to just leave her son with her parents and come see me here again. She hasn't seen my house.

But the sad thing is that while I make an effort to see some friends when I'm home, I can only count on my hand the few friends who have actually made a trip to see me. Some it took awhile, but they finally made it. Then I have some friends/family who always come and see me more than I see them. And I feel bad. (D$ and H--that's you!) I also feel like it's a problem with friends who live here. I moved to a different neighborhood and don't hang out with my friends in the old neighborhood near as much. Mike actually warned me we wouldn't hang out as much since I was moving 15 minutes away. I seriously thought he was joking, but he wasn't. But Mike is good about stopping by when he's in my neighborhood. Granted, 3 out of 4 times I haven't been home. But it's true with me too. I'm less likely to call someone 15 minutes away to grab a drink in my hood as opposed to calling someone already there.

I love how I completely went off subject, but really, if you know me, it's nothing new. First time readers might be surprised. . . :)

I guess my point is that I think Facebook has made most people more lazy than they already are in staying in touch. Not me obviously, since I am apparently glue-like. But we all need to remember that while we have the technology to stay in touch, we need to use it. Write on someone's wall, send them a text, or an email just so that person knows you still care. Facebook isn't developed enough yet, to where you can tell who's viewing your profile yet. And thank God for that one, because we might all look like stalkers! Wait. . .maybe just me. . .

You put your right foot in. . .

I have made a huge leap.

I'm putting in my toes to test the waters.

I'm starting a new chapter maybe.

I signed up for On-line dating.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's exactly what I'm thinking. The Match.com commercials kept popping up during football, so my roommate and I decided that I should just sign up and see what's out there. So I did. And now over 2 weeks later, I was just able to get on there again. Worst Match user ever. I told people I was too busy for online dating and I was right. I'm hoping next week will be slower so I can actually like email people and whatnot. I need sleep and refuse to get on there after 10pm instead of heading to bed. Gee. . . wonder why I'm single now?? Hmmm. . .

And I haven't written anything in my blog for like a month, so really, you all know how busy I am that I can't even write during the day when I should be working.

I also find it funny the people Match thinks I would be a good match with. You like Dogs, he likes dogs. You'd be a good match. I'm a little worried. Also, it seems the only guys that show interest in me are people that I don't find interesting. There were a couple of profiles that cracked me up and those are the ones that I'm most likely going to want to get to know, but those are not the guys who send stuff that they are interested in me. I tried to be funny in my profile, and my roommate helped me write it, and we both thought I was funny. Who knows?!? It's a guessing game I suppose.

Random thoughts:

Things you guys should be worried about though. Hobby Lobby had CHRISTMAS decorations up already. It's not even Halloween. I am refusing to participate. I really can only handle one holiday thrown at me at one time. I like to savor things like Halloween candy so Christmas, you shall wait until after Thanksgiving.

I'm in trouble. I have 2 ridiculously cute nephews who are going to be able to just win me over by smiles. Look at this guy:

My Dad told me that my nephew said "Papa, I have to tell you a secret. It's a big one and you can't tell anyone. I love you the most out of anybody." My Dad said a tear rolled down his cheek. I told Dad that he wasn't supposed to tell anyone that. I also asked my Dad if it happened before or after he took Caleb to McDonald's and bought him some cars. He sure knows how to work us!

Being a favorite of my aunts and uncles, I am hoping I don't show favoritism. I try not to. But Caden actually falls asleep on me and my sister calls me the "Baby Whisperer." My biggest fear is that he'll forget about me seeing as I don't get home as much as I did when Caleb was a baby. I try and love on him as much as I can though.

Well I should probably be getting back to work. . . I actually have a lot to do still!

But before I go. . . one last story:

I have a huge crush on a bartender at the bar by my house. We actually hang out and talk from time to time outside the bar. Anyway, on Saturday, we went up there with my friends Jamie and Tim for Jamie's birthday for a few drinks.

I introduce my crush to Tim and Jamie to which Tim replies "Oh nice to finally meet you, she talks about you all the time" and then later Tim tells him that he thought his hair would be less spiky. Really Tim? Worst. Wingman. Ever. But he still gave them free drinks. ;)

Wanna be a baller. . .

Wanna be a baller, shot caller, 20 inch blade on the Impala
A caller gettin laid tonight

and that's all I know of those lyrics. . . I hit the highway. . . making money the fly way. . .

Actually I don't think that's what the lyrics are but I was going old school this weekend.

And by "old school" I mean I pretended I was back in college and drank for 11 hours. It was my friend's birthday and we were supposed to tubing down a river and camping, but the weather had other plans for us. So instead of being on a river in the downpour and sporatic lightening, we opted to watch college football and do a bar tour of sorts. We also played 2 rounds of circle of death. I don't know what's wrong with us either. I think it was because we were at a well known college bar in town. But there were no college kids to be seen. haha!

At the end of the night, we ended up at my place making s'mores. But wasn't it pouring down rain, you say?? Why, yes. Yes it was. My roommate had the most brilliant idea to make them in the oven. We got out the metal sticks we use for our fire pit, turned the oven on broil, and roasted the marshmallows. And they even catch fire if you put them too close. Just like the campfire folks!

Anyway, I also want to discuss something of importance. Well "of importance" I basically mean phrase I've decided to coin. :)

"Juke" is a term, often used in sports, when you fake someone out.

My friends and I use this term often when trying to get someone to change the subject or with other random things. Like when they're giving you a hard time about something and you then say something completely off subject like bring up a natural disaster. You're conversation juking.

I heard the term "Jesus Juke" one time and I thought it was hilarious. And sooo true. It's when you're talking with someone in a clearly joke filled conversation and they completely reverse the conversation into something serious and holy. You know people who do this. They all of a sudden become holier than though. It's annoying!

Anyway, last week my friend and I were talking, and we came up with the term "Boyfriend Juke" or "Girlfriend Juke". I guess really it could be called "Significant Other Juke" but I don't think it has quite the same ring to it.

It's when you're talking to someone. . . . say it's a stranger or a friend of a friend and all of a sudden he/she says "Well my girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife. . . blah, blah, blah . . . ."

This happened to me Thursday night. I was talking to a guy who is a friend of several of my friends and an acquaintance of mine. I've probably known him for 6 years now. We run into each other every week at softball during the summer, and we even go to the same church. On Sunday at church, I saw him, and we had a seat behind us open, so I motioned for him to sit by us. Well he mentioned last night that we should exchange phone numbers and maybe we could always save each other seats if we know the other is going. Great idea, really. Anyway, right after we exchanged numbers and had been talking for about 10 minutes, out of nowhere he says "Well I couldn't get my girlfriend to come to church on Sunday or most Sundays so I usually go by myself."

He "Girlfriend Juked" me. I was not hitting on him. I was talking to him about our church. And probably softball prior to that. And his job interview went that he was supposed to have.

Later that night, the same thing happened to my friend. It had to do with the shirt she had, so this guy had tried it on and said "Too small??" And she started laughing and then he said "well maybe my girlfriend could wear it." They were in a group of 5 people when they did this and played softball together all summer and never brought up that he had a girlfriend. And then BAM! it's like he thought she was hitting on him when she wasn't.

I've seen this happen many times. It's annoying. And hilarious when it's at the most awkward moment possible.

And now that I've brought it to your attention, I'm sure you'll be on the look out for it!

I want to go back.. .

I was listening to the radio
I heard a song that reminded me of long ago
Back then I thought things were never going to change
It used to be that I never had to feel the pain
I know that things will never be the same now

I wanna go back

And do it all over
But I can't go back I know

I wanna go back
Cause I'm feeling so much older
But I can't go back I know



Thank you Eddie Money. Thank you! I always think of that song when I hear things that make me wish I could go back in time.

One of my best friends is moving. She was the third friend I made here when I moved to this great state. I literally cried the minute she told me. I had to run to the bathroom and grab some toilet paper. It will be weird not having her around. I've known her for almost 7 years now. She's been to my parents house. She's hung out with my IL peeps. I dog sit their dog, Max. My life slightly revolves around hers. I mean, we work in the same building (which is how we met) so we go to lunch weekly and sometimes every day. We do happy hours. We've played volleyball for 6 years together and kickball for the last 4. Now a lot of my routine will change.

I also realize I have a lot of friends moving coming up. Booo. We have a month or so. . . so I will make the best of it. I'll miss her. I finally understand what it was like for my friends. And at least she's doing it with her husband, so she's not entirely alone like I was.

I miss back home all the time. I miss my family and my close friends. I miss my parents or my sister just dropping by. And every day I wonder what it would be like if I hadn't gone and where I would be. I've made some great friends here that I know have helped me grow and maybe that wouldn't have happened where I was at.

I know I can only live in the moment. Maybe my Prince Charming is here. . .I guess I'll wait and see. . .

**Original post written on 7/7/2011. I didn't post it because not everyone knew she was moving yet and then just noticed I hadn't ever posted it.

MTV--I think I'm over you too. . .

Apparently Adam Levine made the comment how he's over the VMAs because MTV really doesn't care about music anymore.

And, well, he's right. I just looked up the schedule for MTV and there's no music on there until like 3am. Then at 7am, non-music programming starts again. 4 hours of music--and that's it!

I remember when they had TRL at least. . . and played music videos in the mornings until like 11am. . . what happened???

Doesn't the "M" in MTV stand for Music?

They were innovative when they aired "Video Killed the Radio Star" but really it should be called "Bad Reality TV killed the music videos" or something like that. They had funny shows about music and comedians who had their own 30 minute shows. Then The Real World and Road Rules. Then. . . somewhere. . . it went horribly wrong.


Do they really make that much money off of the shows that it's cost effective to no longer play music videos?? You can find music videos on their website though. . . or you know. . . just go to You Tube.

I guess I can go online and watch music videos. . . and maybe that's what they want you to do. Or have we as a society become too dependent on our computers and they just expect us to do that?? I don't know. I do go to my On Demand and watch music videos and sing and dance around my house. That's totally normal by the way. . .

Even VH1 only has music from 6am-11am. I guess that's 5 hours at least. But still. . .

I miss the old days. When music television played music videos. I miss when sitcoms were well written and quirky. I miss when people were famous for doing something great in movies or television or for having been musically talented, and not for a sex tape. Does that make me sound old???

My latest Gripe.

I hate to really say anything controversial on my blog, but my friend and I last night go into quite the talk about it last night. We were on the same side, but I looked at the numbers today and well. . . yikes.

College Athletes

I'm not sure if you're an avid readers of sports news, but do you notice how often college athletes get in trouble?? I'm also not sure if the news media only mentions the college level football and basketball players who get in trouble and never seems to mention the lesser money making scholarship athletes.

What made us the most sad, are the college athletes who feel entitled to everything when they are there playing. They think girls should just fall all over them and that people should bow down to them. (Not all college athletes are this way, but I've met quite a few as had Liz.)

Anyway, with the recent news where 9-11 Hurricane football players are being suspended because they took money from a donor. Reggie Bush lost his Heisman for taking money from a donor. See also Ohio State Athletics. And recently even Tim Tebow made a comment about how college athletes SHOULD be paid because of all the work they do.

Hey Tim Tebow. . . you're on an athletic scholarship correct?? You're getting your school for FREE. How is that not getting paid??

I took out financial aid and had academic scholarships to help pay for my college education.

I looked at current amounts for the University of IL and the University of Iowa. I am going with the highest amounts on the ranges they provided.

The University of Iowa is one of the least expensive colleges to attend in the Big 10 and the University of IL, is in the middle range according to things I saw.

Also, keep in mind that some college athletes with full rides get Room and Board paid for as well as books and supplies. The University of IL used to let students ride the bus for free. . . well when I was there anyway.

At the UofIL
Tuition and fees: $19,238 for in state and $33,380 for out of state
Books and supplies will set you back: $1,200
Room and board with 10 meals/week in the cafeteria: $10,080
Other expenses you might incur: $2,510
Total Estimated Costs: $28,204 for in state and $47,170 for out of state

At the Uof Iowa:
Tuition and fees: $7,765 for in state and $25,099 for out of state
Room and board: $8,750
Books and supplies: $1,090
Personal expenses: $2,625
Transportation: $890
Estimated total costs: $21,120 for in state and $38,454 for out of state

Let's go with the University of IL's estimated tuition since they are in the median. I know several college athletes on full scholarships who also received free clothing and apparel and shoes that were university initiated. They get free warm up clothes and work out clothes. I had to buy mine with the University logo and I'm pretty sure there wasn't a Nike logo on them. I also know people who worked in college to help pay for their schooling and sometimes it was 2 jobs. I know people who were on full ride academic scholarships who had to keep a certain GPA or they would lose their scholarship and they had a job.

What are college athletes asked to do? They are asked to go to practices, do schoolwork, perform on game days, and lead by example. They did this in high school and didn't get paid? What is different now? Now, they have the opportunity to perform well in hopes that it might turn into a professional career and subsequently, make millions of dollars.

Not all college athletes these days are doing that. They think because they are a good athlete that at the college level they are entitled to anything and everything. Who cares if someone offers them money to sign merchandise? They need the extra money.

So I ask Tim Tebow why he decided to play at the collegiac level? Was it to get paid later on for your talents as an athlete? Because technically you did. Your JOB in college was to be a football player. You were paid with a top notch education and the $28,000 you received to live and attend Florida.

Oh, the places you'll go!!

I love Dr. Seuss. I always have. . . even when I was little.

It's weird though how things that he wrote can have such an impact as an adult as opposed to when you are 5 and learning to read.

I miss Josie soo much sometimes. It's been 2 years and there isn't a day that goes by sometimes that I just want to call her or text her and say something. I know that goes away. . . but it hasn't yet.

One of Josie's favorite quotes was "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind."

It always amazed me how in life everything always seemed to work out for Josie. I mean, minus the whole getting breast cancer at 25 and subsequently dying at 30 from it. Monday it was 2 years, and I thought about that. I wonder if things always seemed to work out because somewhere else, someone else already knows our story. And hers wasn't supposed to be that long, so that's why she loved life even before she got sick.

Of course, then you see those people like Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan and you keep thinking "Why is life working out well for them??" I digress. . .

I was going to talk about how disappointed I am in all the coverage of Kim Kardashian's wedding and it almost sickens me that she spent somewhere between $10-$20 million on it (and that's with apparently much of it donated) and was going to be making around $18 million from it and also had a wedding registry for her guests to get her a gift. Think about how many people you could have helped forgoing a gift and just asked people to donate the money for a gift to a charity??? That's what 2 of my friends did. And they don't make the big money that she does.

I always thought marriage was about being happy with the person you're supposed to marry and spend the rest of your life with and being surrounded by the people who love you the most. Yet you're forced to cut people from your wedding, so you cut your step-father's family. Like 50 of them. Nice.

Sorry, I digress again. It just irritates me how some celebrities go on and on about how charitable they are, and how you the average person should donate money, yet, look at what you just did??

Anyway, I wish that I really took to heart the things that I learned from Dr. Seuss when I was 5.

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." --I really need to remember this one. A lot. Especially with my friends moving. It makes me sad but life goes on.

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."--I'm waiting on this one. . . :) Actually, I know that I've had great days with someone that I adore and I don't want to go to sleep because then the day was over.

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells."I'm 31 and I love to fly kites. . . this is nonsense really. . . but it's fun. I also like to pretend I have my own theme music now and then. . . sue me.

"I'm afraid sometimes you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win because you'll play against you." --It's sad, but I play against myself all the time. It's hard to not get down on one's self from time to time. . . it's the rising up out of it, that's the key.

"I'm glad we had the times together just to laugh and sing a song, seems like we just got started and before you know it, the times we had together were gone."

I think that's my favorite one. It makes me think of Josie the most. And really it makes me think of other friends I've lost and of friends who moved away, or of the friends I moved away from. I'm a firm believer that people don't happen into your life by chance. There's a reason, a season, a purpose. Maybe you help someone grow and maybe they helped you. Maybe you got into some trouble and learned a lesson. Maybe you got someone into trouble and taught them a lesson.

I often think how different my life would have been how I not went to college at Illinois. What my life would be like had I not moved here? I miss my family and I hate they can't just come down for lunch or supper or a Saturday shopping trip. I miss happy hour with my old friends.

There's a reason I'm here. . . I just have to find it. . .