Valentine's Day Can Suck It

Gee, can you tell by my title that I am NOT a fan of Valentine's Day?

Even when I had someone (which has been rarely on the day) I didn't like it. I feel you should show someone you love them every day or randomly, not on a commercial holiday. Plus if I have to see one more "happy" couple commercial I might explode.

I remember in college I wasn't really dating this guy although I had a huge crush on him and he bought me the Dawson's Creek Soundtrack, Gerbera Daisies, and a Universal TV Remote. Super sweet. I think I made him dinner in return . . . and did I mention, it wasn't Valentine's Day? It was actually Sweetest Day (What is that even?!?) and I was completely shocked he brought me anything so I made him dinner. However, this was the same guy when we first started dating, at Schnuck's bought me a $.25 ring and gave it to me when we were getting into the car. Now that is super sweet.

The last few days I've been having a lot of love type questions thrown at me. I realize that I am a hopeless Romantic which might explain why I don't like Valentine's Day. I want romance all the time! However, this also might be the reason I don't acknowledge small gestures of love with guys. I am expecting the grand gestures of slaying dragons and killing the mean guy who kidnapped me.

This match thing is not working out for me as I've discussed on here before, but I am really stuck. I am giving it a shot and it's not working at all. Maybe I am the exception to the rule, who knows?!? I was talking this morning to Alexa and we were wondering what happened to guys who would ask for your number and then gasp! Call you?? Is technology making guys lazy?? I can't remember the last time a guy called me and asked how I was doing or what I was doing. It's usually a text message. "Hey, want to go hit some range balls?" "Want to go to the 6pm movie?" Are we that afraid we are now inconveniencing people with a phone call that we would much rather text?

And with Match, I realized that either I am completely hideous, or my worst fears have come true, and no one wants to date me cyberly NOR in real life. I'm starting to think the latter. I have done every Match has asked of me too. My friend Dan said that dating is hard work online or in person. The problem with online is that I'm working for nothing. At least if I was at a bar, the guy would feel the need to buy me a drink. I really have become that lonely, spinster lady I have dreaded. Love has made me jaded.

I have always had a ton of guy friends. Always.

My first realization that I am clueless came to me when I was 19/20-years-old. I was in love with a boy. I mean, mind-numbing in love. I could have cared less about any other guy. I wanted to spend all my time with him. He did not want to spend all his time with me. He wanted to sleep with my friend. He slept with my friend. I told him off when I was drunk for leading me on and didn't talk to him for 2 months. Luckily for me, it was the end of the year and summer came. Then our other friend told him where I was living, and he showed up at my door on a Friday afternoon telling me he couldn't live without me in his life. We remain friends to this day. I never doubted his love for me after that, but I know that I never fit into his cookie cutter mold of what he wanted his wife to be. And he broke my heart in a million, tiny pieces.

Then following that, I had a guy friend who always protected me. He was the one who told above guy where I lived, but he always had my back. He started dating someone and I found myself jealous as I realized that I wanted to date him. His best friend told me that he always wanted to date me and always had me on a pedestal, but I never gave him a 2nd thought because of above mentioned guy. The first moment I realized I was a big idiot. And we're still friends to this day.

After that I fell for a co-worker who would always drunk call me (sometimes 7 days a week, depending on the week), and actually drive and sit outside my house when he was drunk just so I would come outside and talk to him. (I do realize this was never a safe idea.) He actually told me one time at work that he drove around the vicinity of where he thought I was living but wasn't sure. I drew him a map on a napkin and the following weekend, I got a call he was outside. . . . with the napkin in his car. We had a "will they or won't they" summer which was a won't they. I do not, to this day, know if there ever could have been more than friendship as this guy was a HUGE flirt and I never thought there would have been a chance. But having told this story to a few guy friends, apparently if a guy keeps calling you drunk all the time and slightly stalks you, that might be a check in the yes category. We are still friends to this day. Sarah--I am sure you know who this is! :)

Then I met the former love of my life who just last week called me to see how I was because we hadn't talked in a month or so. He's married with kids now, but anyone who knows him, knows how awesome he is. And how stupid I was to never say anything about how I felt when the chance presented itself. I am the epitome of Julia Roberts in My Best Friend's Wedding.

Then I had the guy friend tell me that I automatically make guys my friends. Not sure why he thought that. . .

I also had the sort of whoreish guy friend who I think that all my friends think I hooked up with. He might have stayed over numerous times, and we might have slept in the same bed, but from what I remember, we only cuddled. I know people might not believe me, but we did.

The above guys are all happily married to really awesome people.

It's funny the guy I was with before I moved to Iowa, we had a pact that we would get married when I was 34. It was supposed to be 30 because at 24, 30 was sooo old. He wanted me to move Iowa, meet someone, date them for awhile, and then realize he was the only one I should be with. He's not married that I know of. But we also don't talk anymore. I got a drunk phone call 4 years ago from a karaoke bar in Canada from him, but that's it.

Iowa has not been any better for me than my college years. I stayed on the hook for 4 years with a guy. However, I know I am better off without him, although 2 years ago, it broke me. Even though in between those 4 years, I dated other guys, but I think deep down, I always thought there would be more.

My rebound from that got married 13 months after he broke up with me.

Then I went on a few dates with a guy I didn't know had a girlfriend and I'm glad it wasn't more!

I know I've shared various dating disasters in this blog, and it almost saddens me I don't have any. I figured Match would be a gold mine of bad dates.

My old roommate could tell you of the great (bad) dates I had. I mean, I could write a 300-page book of my bad dates.

I'm sounding really jaded in love right now, but sadly, I think I still have hope that I'm not going to end up alone. People meet randomly all the time. My own parents grew up 9 miles apart and had a lot of friends in common. My Dad was even engaged to a girl my Mom graduated with. They didn't meet until their early 20s when my Mom went on a date with a friend, who happened to be my Dad's roommate. And the rest is history.

I think it would be easier to know the cards that are going to be dealt, but I guess life wouldn't be exciting that way. Some of the cards make us really happy, some make us super sad. Some we don't understand, and some fit together after awhile. I'm not sure what my future holds, but maybe I'll learn a few things along the way. . .