I'm going out with a bang!!

This was my last birthday in my 20s. So. . . apparently I thought it was completely okay to get totally HAMMERED 3 nights in a row.


I also have determined as did my friends that they tend to on the most part drink more than I do on my birthday.


Thursday was my actual birthday and the plan was to just go out after work for happy hour for a couple of drinks because Jamie had a baby about 3 months ago and had to be home at 8 to put Izzy down. Well after her first drink, she called her husband and said that she was going to stay out all night now. I should also state that I decided it would be a great idea to drink Rum and Diets all night. And when mixing with the shots I did. . . not a very good idea. Oh and I had been drinking since 3:30pm. Rum and Diets. Yeah. . . .


My night was basically this: Sober, sober, DRUNK. I remember things. I do. . . but some things are just really blurry and I don't remember. Basically according to Sarah, my eyes were almost closed and I couldn't form complete sentences. She said she yelled at the waitress "We need water. Stat!" haha! I remember doing a lot of dancing and Jamie said that she had burned 4000 calories on her Biggest Loser monitor that day and when she got to the bar she had only burned about 1000. So dancing was definitely a big part of the evening.


And Wine Rep came out. . . and paid my bar tab plus 2 drinks. Oh and did I mention he told me "Hey, so I won a trip to St. Lucia for me and a guest, would you want to go with me?" I also couldn't get past this that night because Sarah's pretty sure I told her 3 times. I'm calling DOUCHE BAG on him either way. You can't be kind of about a girl and then ask her to go on vacation with you. I mean, granted, if he brings it up again, I'm totally going to go because it's a free trip. To a warm, tropical place. With sand and the ocean. And I'll need that in February when I am ridiculously pasty white. That's all I'm saying. But we'll see if he brings it up again. Which I'm 100% sure he won't. Because, well have I mentioned, he tends to be a douche bag??


Also, that night, Dean gave me a ride home. He came out after he got off work. Now, it's never a good idea to ride home with someone that you used to be in love with when you're that drunk. And have no idea what you could have possibly said. But apparently we're still friends, so that's good! haha! He said I was quite comical. I'm sure I was. . . I'm sure I was!! I mean, I was practically falling asleep at the bar. . . well falling asleep, passing out. . . either way. . .

Friday all day during work I am pretty sure I was still drunk. At about 3pm I decided that I needed to go home and take a nap because I was supposed to go out to the piano bar for some happy hour drinks. So I decided instead to stop by the mall and buy new jeans and look for a shirt. No nap. At all. Earlier in the day I had mentioned to my friend Sheryl, that she needs to smack me if I say "I'll have a rum and diet." Did I also mentioned that I talked to Sheryl on Thursday night?? I talked to her. I remember at the time having a completely coherent conversation with her. Friday? Did not remember one bit of it. So I had to email her and ask her what we talked about. Lovely. Anyway so I get to the bar at about 4:30-5 and I state clearly to those around me that I am not drinking any hard liquor tonight.

Yeah this went well. I turn about 15 minutes after that and Stacey has a shot for me. A Vegas Bomb to be exact. So since I couldn't make it to her birthday the week before, I go and buy her one so we can do birthday shots together. This is where things went downhill. Now while I was drinking beer, I also had 2+ in front of me at any given time. And my lovely neighbor Mike after the shot decided to buy me a Kansas City Water. Which is a drink. Which apparently is all alcohol and is sweet, so you don't know you're drinking alcohol. Oh and did I mention as I'm drinking it he says "You may not remember anything in a half hour." Thanks.

Also about this time, we decided that the word "Shot" was our favorite word. In fact, it was the word of the night. I cannot tell you how many shots I did. I counted 6 by the pictures. And that's not including the one we didn't take pictures with. But I did stick to my guns and continued to drink just beer. And the bad part of it, when I got my bill, I had 5 beers on there. That's not including the beers that were bought for me. This night was not turning into a low key night again. And pretty much again, everyone was more drunk than me. Perhaps because I was slowing down at the end??

Since it was a dueling piano bar, I somehow missed the whole 'everyone with birthdays' get up on stage, but don't worry, my friend Suz took care of that and I got called up on stage all by myself with the one piano player while they sang "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw." Good times. Good times. Oh and I totally asked if I could play something and proceeded to play the accompaniment to Chopsticks. Yes. Oh yes. The end of the night ended up with some girlfriends crying and the next day not remembering that they cried at the bar. And my friend Dan was for sure drunk. I love drunk Dan! And Mike kept telling me all night how I need to give Wine Rep a chance because everytime Mike's out and he's with us, he's all about me. I told him that we'll see but Wine Rep was supposed to call and come out after work on Friday. That didn't happen. The exact reason I won't be giving him a chance, but will take him up on any free trips.

Saturday morning, surprisingly I didn't feel hung over. Maybe it's because my liver was still deciding whether or not it was still drunk. Not sure. I had to go earlier than expected to get my car fixed and then just laid on the floor watching movies at my friend's house with her kids. However, laying on the floor, wasn't exactly what I was doing. I kept having to get up and get Alli or Cooper because Renee had a severe migraine that was causing her to vomit. And since her husband was fixing my car, I was trying to help her out. When I left their place around 2ish, I realized I hadn't eaten all day, so I went to Subway and told the guy to pick out whatever for me on 6inch white. And he said "Whatever??" So I said "Well pick between meatball, chicken/bacon/ranch, or chicken breast then." It was like no one had ever done this before. Well maybe not. Not sure. I was too tired and too hungry to make a choice. And in case the anticipation was killing you, he chose meatball. :)

Saturday night was supposed to be going out to dinner with a huge group of friends and their hubbies because Thursday was mostly girls besides the single guys that came up. Well, pretty much everyone got sick, so it ended up being Suz, Kattie, Emily, Luke, and Dean. And Suz, Kattie, and I were doing shots like no one's business on Friday night. And Suz was pretty sure she was still drunk from the night before still at 7pm. Dean had drank a lot on Friday as well and said he wasn't feeling all that well. And I felt bad because he had taken off his second job to hang out with our old friends who were all sick.

Well in the end, it ended up just Dean and I going out to meet some of my friends bowling. But since we had some time to kill, we stopped by this dive bar and had a few drinks. Which turned into 3. And Dean telling me he was feeling better and said "Game on." No one should ever say "game on" to me because I can never back down from challenges. I'm very competitive by nature and so when someone says "game on" I'm going to bring the 'A' game.

We ended up splitting 2 pitchers of beer between us at the bowling and when everyone else left at 10:30ish we stayed until close to finish our beer. I should also state, I bowled the worst game of my life. It was a 62. I bowled a gutter, a 3, a gutter, a gutter, a gutter, a gutter, a gutter, a gutter, and ended up with a 62. I have never not broken a 100 in my entire life. This was horrible. And of course, no one believed this was the first time! After the bowling alley closed, we decided to head back to the dive bar that was close again. For more drinks. I had a margarita at supper and he had 3 beers. We were going down fast.

Since we were alone, it also gave us a lot of talking time. Which isn't good for us. I mean, it's good, and it's not. Because I turn into the very blunt me when I drink a lot, and he tells me things that I'm pretty sure I don't want to hear, so I give him very blunt responses. Like basically the only thing he likes about the girl he is dating is that she likes to have sex all the time. And he does like her a little bit more than he used to but he's no where near in love with her. And then I tell him he's a big jerk for doing that and he justifies it because he kind of likes her. I tell him that there was a period of time he turned into this person that I didn't know and wasn't sure I even liked as a person anymore. And he becomes offended and I said "Look, if I thought that you were that same person, I wouldn't still be talking to you."

Then the bartendar, anytime Dean leaves me, asks me what's up with us. And that he's pretty sure we're going to hook up tonight. And I tell him that "we're just friends" and "He has a girlfriend" and the bartendar is not having any of it. He continues throughout the next two hours to say that he's pretty sure we're hooking up tonight, and that we are definitely not 'just friends' because he sees a lot of couples coming in here that are just friends, and we are not them. He said that we do not act like two people who want to be platonic friends and will probably get together in the near future. Then at the end of the night the bartendar asks for my phone number. Did I mention he was 45?? Oh and I totally gave it to him! hahahahaha! I was hammered. What do you expect? And he was nice looking for a 45-year-old. :)

We had some problems with getting our taxi. Initially the bartendar called and said we wanted it at 2am. They came at 1:30am, five minutes after we called, and we still had a full pitcher. Then Dean called from his phone to get one. After Dean called to see when it was coming, the lady at the cab company said "Well, Dean, it's only been 9 minutes since you last called and we're at our busy time, so it might be a little bit longer than 10 minutes." And Dean said "Well you don't have to be bitchy about it!" We were pretty sure our cab was never going to come and Dean said that he could just drive. This wasn't a good idea. He and the bartendar were doing shots and he drank as much beer as I did. . . but he drove home anyway. Not a good idea. But we made it. I think I probably should have driven in terms of who can drive better drunk. We took residential side streets because we thought that might be safer. For other people. Not us. I hate doing things like that. Absolutely hate it. And I try very hard not to. Having lost someone in a drunken driving accident, I should know better. So, hopefully I am forgiven.

Then on Sunday, I detoxed. I literally drank 12 glasses of water, 2 large cokes at lunch, and only peed when I woke up and then again at 6pm. I might have been a wee bit dehydrated. I definitely went out with a KABOOM on my last birthday in my 20s. Maybe 30 won't be sooo bad.