Things that strike me as funny:

My mom is a teacher and usually gets to school at 7:30ish and leaves around 4ish. Even in the Summer, she seems to always call me at 4-4:15pm and always says to me "Hi. What are you doing?"

And I say "Working."

And then she says "Oh that's right." She knows my standard working hours are 8am-4:30pm. She then proceeds to carry on a conversation and says "Well I guess I'll let you go since you seem distracted.

And I say "Well Mom, I am at work trying to get things done so I can leave early."

The sad part is, once school starts, she also calls me before work and then asks why I have her on speaker phone and I always tell her it's because I am in the middle of getting ready. But the even sadder part is during the summer I miss the before morning work calls.

__________________
My Grandpa this weekend says to me "Man, these guys look kind of short. And why is Hawaii playing Louisiana?"

I then inform him we're watching the Little League Championships.
__________________
My nephew told my sister this morning that he was throwing away his donut. When she told him not to do it that she would eat it he said that it was junk food and bad for you. And he wasn't eating it because he knew junk food was bad and that he was smart like that. My sister still ate the donut.
__________________
My nephew told my sister that I have small boobies and she has large ones. Thank you little man for informing her what we already knew. And also the reason I probably can't pick up men with my body.