Things you shouldn't do. . .

Unless you are purposefully wanting to give someone a heart attack!!

Last night I get done with softball around 9 and stayed for a few beverages afterwards. . . and as I was leaving around 9:45 my aunt calls me. My Gramps hasn't been doing well recently so having my aunt call me at a rather odd hour made my heart stop. And then her cell phone cut out. And I started hyperventilating. She then calls me back on her home phone. She was just calling to verify all the information with regards to my Grandpa's surgery. When is it? What's all going to be done? Did the doctor say anything else that Grandpa is leaving out??

You see. . . I am the only one Gramps tells his FULL medical problems too. I was going to be a doctor but seeing as I only play one on TV now, he still tells me everything. Occasionally, I will "diagnosis" him half-way and say "Go to the doctor. You might have this. You need stuff to treat it." Then he'll tell me had I gone to Med School like I was originally going to do, he wouldn't have to worry about such things, and then he goes to his doctor and tells her what I said he might have and how he wouldn't have to go to her had I actually become a doctor. The scary part is that I've been pretty accurate with his diagnoses. So since I realized Gramps only tells me the rest of the story so to speak, when he's doing bad, I'll call my aunt and tell her so someone will go and keep an eye on him just in case. If Gramps wasn't so stubborn, I wouldn't have to worry about such things. . .but alas, he's a VERY stubborn 83-year-old and needs to be kept in check!

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Yesterday my nephew had his first day of pre-school. So me, being the favorite aunt and by far one of his most favorite people in all the world, called him to see how his first day was. I left a message on their answering machine. I missed his return call that went something like this: "A!! A!!! (my sister in the background then says "It's her voicemail, ask her to call you back) CALL ME BACK!!" click!

So after some phone tag, he calls me back and says "I went to school today." And I said "I know! I'm sooo proud of you!! What did you do??" And he says "I learned a lot and I played on the playground. I went on the white slide." And I asked "Was it a straight slide or a curvy one?" and he said "STRAIGHT!" and I asked "Was it fast?" and he says "Not really. Bye. I'm done talking now."

My sister then gets on the phone and I say "It hurts sometimes. When he just gets off the phone like that." She then tells me how he had to listen to my message 4 times and after everytime I said his name, he yelled "A! A!" and then asked her to repeat the message. So finally my sister said "Why don't you just call her and talk to her?" So he did. . .and then gets off the phone in 2.5 seconds. I can't win. Even with my nephew! :)

Here's a picture from our vacation. It just shows what a little stinker he his!

Things that remind you time flies. . .

My little nephew started Pre-School today. PRE-SCHOOL.

I can't believe it. When I moved here almost 4 years ago in September, he was just a little zygote* in my sister's stomach. And he's turned into an absolutely adorable child. I might be slightly biased though. . .not sure. . . :)

This just totally reminded me though of a funny story that my friend Mark told me last night. Mark and his wife are the ones that moved here in June a year ago but thought that I lived somewhere else in the state and never bothered to call and verify my whereabouts. And in November they found out they had been living a mile from me. Anyway, I had called Mark last night to see if he wanted to play on our kickball team. I knew Kristin couldn't because she's pregnant. Anyway, I asked Mark how the pregnancy was going and he starts telling me all this information. I told Mark how impressed I was with his knowledge especially for being a guy.

And then Mark tells me that apparently he never told me what Kristin did. So when Kristin found out she was pregnant, she signed Mark up for the "What to Expect When You're Expecting" emails so every week Mark opens up his email and it says "Mark Congratulations! You are in your 10th week. Your baby is growing inside you even more rapidly than before." And then goes into more detail. He finds it very entertaining. And I was cracking up. I love Kristin. And will do that to my husband (Or Baby's Daddy) someday!


*I'm not actually sure if the proper term is a zygote but he was about the size of a blueberry!

This is my confession. . .

And if you have Usher now in your head. . .You're welcome!!

Anyway. . . I have a few things I must get off my chest so I can have a clear mind.

Confession #1: I like the Jonas Brothers. I can't explain this. I'm also kind of sad I missed the Disney channel movie "Camp Rock."

Confession #2: Besides having the weird thing of unzipping my pants when I walk into the office bathroom, I noticed yesterday I pre-lift up my skirt as well. Yesterday I inadvertently mooned a guy coming out of the men's room while the door shut behind me.

Confession #3: I watch 90210 on Soapnet. I purposefully watched 90210: The Final Goodbye on Monday night. I know. I know. It's sad. But I'm in love with David Silver--aka Brian Austin Greene.
Sub confession: I watched What I Like About You because Jennie Garth was in it. However, she's also from Champaign, IL, so maybe that was why.

Confession #4: Apparently now when people are in the car I like to talk to other people. This happened today when I went to lunch. Like I said things such as "You had BETTER stop" and so on.

Confession #5: I sing in my car every morning on my way to work.

Confession #6: Sometimes when I'm flipping through the channels at night, I'll watch Hannah Montana and then my brain actually yells at me.

Confession #7: I watch Saved By the Bell sometimes in the morning and my mother was right about the bad acting and how bad the show actually was.

Confession #8: I really do enjoy hanging out with my family and extended family. While most people feel it is a burden for me to drive up and see my Gramps almost every weekend, I kind of look forward to it.

Confession #9: I might have drank a little too much last night. I mean not enough to be drunk but a lot for a Tuesday night. It's Dean's fault. He suggested we go out for one more beer after Volleyball. And I let him buy all the beer last night.

Confession #10: I think my old neighbor lady is crazy. H can attest to this. And as much as I would like to tell her she is nuts, I feel so sorry for her because I don't think she has any friends and I feel like I should just let her think that we are friends.

Whew! I feel better now! Thanks!

I have to add another confession: I think John Mayer is hot with his new haircut.

Yeah. . . I'm here. . .

Sorry I haven't updated. It was a hectic week last week and I was gone for the weekend before to the Wisconsin Dells. I'll start with the weekend before.

I forgot how much fun family vacations are. I mean most of my family vacations growing up were going to spend time with my grandparents and seeing my extended family. Occasionally we did fun traditional vacation things like go to a lake in Minnesota or Wisconsin or went to tourist-y places such as the Badlands and Mount Rushmore.

Well my sister's best friend Marla got married in the Dells last weekend and so we as a family to make it a little mini-vacation. And by mini I mean I got to spend Friday, Saturday, and three hours on Sunday with them and then had to drive back home on Sunday because my boss was coming into town either Monday or Tuesday. He never told me when exactly, so I just had to be back.

Things that are awesome to do: Stay at a water park resort.

It was a blast and it brought back all my favorite childhood memories. Plus even though my parents are 60+ they still LOVE to have fun at water parks.

Things that are bad: Your body doesn't recover like it should. My body ached for days later. But totally worth all the fun we had.

Funniest comments:

My mom, dad, brother-in-law and I playing mini-golf and my bro-in-law saying "oooh, I should have hit her harder!" and then my mother saying "That's what she said!"

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My sister and I at night going down a new slide on a double tube that was 3 stories up--
Me: Oh Shit! Oh Shit! Oh Shit! (It's pitch black and I can't see, and we're heading straight down.)

My sis: Quit saying Oh Shit!

5 second pause

My sis: Oh Shit! Oh Shit! Oh Shit!!!

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My nephew: I don't like you anymore because you wouldn't give me a cookie. That's not you aunt A.

Soo. . .

My family continued the family vacation and visited Gramps and the extended family. Did I get to go?? No. . .my boss was in town. Further proof he is an ahole. :) My family was sooo kind to call me and tell me all the fun they were having and how they wished I could be there to partake in the fun. Thanks family!!

I did get to enjoy the 2nd most fun place to go besides Las Vegas though with my sister and her family for a few hours on Thursday. That was fun. And I got a corn dog AND funnel cake. Yummm!!!

Last weekend was pretty boring seeing as all the fun I had the weekend before. Good times. I know I have more stories.

And You're OUT!!!

I prefer in my love life to give the Slow Pitch Strike Policy. You start with a 1-1 Count so after 2 Strikes, the Batter is out.

Wine Rep is out. Well not entirely out of my life because I will still be his acquaintance for the mere reason I get free wine. Which I know is horrible, yet deserved considering he has caused me some anguish.

Last Monday he called me wanting to come and meet him out. I was busy making desserts for my friend and roommates birthdays. So I said I couldn't. Then he called. Two more times to see if I would come out. And then he asked what I was doing Wednesday. So I said nothing and he said he would call me after work. Well work came and went. I went home, worked out, and then got to thinking that maybe I was the one that was supposed to call him when I left work. A message was left with no return. Then Friday I got a text that said "Are you ready to drink tonight??" That text was not answered. Then yesterday he called and I accidentally answered it. And yes, it was an accident. It was a miss call that I had just missed so I just called it back so the person wouldn't leave a message. He, of course, wanted to do something but I was busy again. So he wants me to call him this week if I have time to hang out.

I'm debating if I should. I like wine. Free wine. And I like company. Cute company. I think as long as I don't fall for his BS, I'll be okay. Right????

Update

So. . . Wine Rep called me on Saturday and guess what??

He broke up with her. I told him I was calling "Shenanigans!" until I could get further proof. We'll see though. We'll see. . .

Now what is a girl supposed to do!?!

So You Think You Can Dance??

So did I. . . So did I. . .

I was wrong. Sooo wrong. Sure, I've been told that I carry an excellent beat. I can even purposely clap off beat to be funny. I can do such inspirational dance moves such as 'The Sprinkler', 'The Running Man', 'The Roger Rabbit', 'The Shopping Cart', 'Throwing the Dice', 'Bowling', 'Going Fishing', and my personal favorite 'The Lawn Mower'.

Last night I took a workout class with my friend Anna. It's called Zumba. I only thought I had rhythm. I do not. I was trying to do this salsa move while moving from side to side and it turned into the 'Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em' Dance. Seriously. Apparently I am not that coordinated to do swing my hips and move side to side. This could explain my lack of femininity with the male species. I'm just not that sexy enough. Note to self: Read Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou one more time.

And the Zumba workout itself kicked my arse. It was a great workout, and I'm really glad I went. I sweated profusely though so there's no way a man would come up to me afterwards and ask me out. Oh wait. . .they don't do that even when I do shower! I do shower every morning and after sports when I'm super sweaty, thankyouverymuch!

Today I keep making 'ugh' noises every time I sit down. I workout regularly (like 5+ times) a week not to mention the sports I do. So you'd think that I would be able to handle this. Richard Simmons should be worried. So should Eric Nies. Does he even still make 'The Grind' Workouts?? I'm going back to do it again. Why? Because I like pain. And I like the feeling that I'm about to die. And I like that maybe with a little more practice I can salsa and not look like a complete moron. . . okay. . .maybe less of a moron than I do now normally.