Thursday, April 28, 2011

Tsk. . . Tsk. . .

I had a pretty bad Monday. It just didn't start out well. The plumber was supposed to be at my house at 7:30am and didn't get there until after 8:30. Why?? They put it on the main schedule but not on the individual technician's schedule. Luckily, it wasn't anything major and my home warranty should cover it. Ooh yeah!

Then my check engine light came on as I was heading back to work at Lunch. But it didn't just come on and stay. . . it proceeded to blink. That is not a good thing. Luckily, my friend's a mechanic and loves to work on my car. "Loves" might be a strong word, but he does like saving me money when he can. The only down side is that now I can't drive to see my Gramps on Saturday.

So today I'm at lunch with my friend Sarah and we were talking about the whirlwind that has become my life lately.

I actually inadvertently know someone that was killed in the random attack in Afghanistan yesterday. This family is going through so much right now too with cancer and then to have their son die. :(

And then my friend Jenna's husband's brother-in-law died in the tornadoes last night in Alabama. They are on their way now down there.

Horrible!

It's always weird to read the paper and see the bad things on the news and feel soo happy that you're not affected by it. And then to know people personally who are affected by it is a different story. I feel so much for them. Soo much! Please keep them in your thoughts.

Anyway, I digress. . . So Sarah and I are talking and she says "I didn't know you were having a bad day on Monday, you weren't in a bad mood at all!" And I said, "Well, lately my life has just been just one bad day, and I'm really trying to just move on from it."

Cut to 5 minutes later we are walking in the skywalk and I nail my elbow on the window pane. I mean NAIL it. We both just start laughing. . . because really. . . that's all I can do at this point.

Laugh.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

You're Welcome

I apologize in advance for anything that may be stuck in your head after you read this.

For some reason yesterday. . . the song montages running through my head, had no rhyme or reason. And then of course I try to think about why all of a sudden the little man in my head, would go to the file cabinet in my brain and pull out the 8-Track to specific songs and play them.

And am I the only one who pictures someone doing that?? Anyway. . .

I was sitting there working on reports when all of a sudden this came into my head:

You take the Good
You take the Bad
You take them both
And there you have the Facts of Life.
The Facts of Life.
When the world never seems
To be living up to your dreams
And suddenly you're finding out the Facts of Life are all about you.
All about you. . . .

Lyrics are missing but that's all that was running through my head. So then I get to thinking that man, that is soo true. Thank you Alan Thicke. Thank you. Side note: Alan Thicke from Growing Pains wrote the theme songs to the Facts of Life AND Diff'rent Strokes in case you didn't know that. . .but really who would???

My neighbor growing up who was like a Grandma passed away on Friday morning. I was supposed to stop and see her on Friday morning as well. . . about 3 hours after she passed. We got the call at 7am. I was happy to be home with my family when that happened. I was super sad though because I didn't get to say Goodbye. My parents and my sister did and told her that I was thinking about her and appreciated all that she had done for me through the years. We were all going to go on Friday but as her condition worsened, they all went Monday. And all of them were glad they did.

Also found out from my sister and my parents that apparently I don't handle death well. And they really worry about telling me people have died. Could you guys not tell that from when my friend died?? I stopped to see Ruth at Christmas, so I didn't have as much guilt when she died I guess as I could have been so I wasn't as upset as they expected me. And I think I handled both Grandmas and my Grandpa R's passing very well. I mean, yes, I got sad and cry, but I moved on. I do know Josie's has been harder to move on from. And really for the Age of 31, I have experience death a little too much for my age and I don't like it one bit! And I do know for awhile I will be near inconsolable when my Gramps dies. I spend almost every Saturday with him. It will be hard.

The other song:

Drowning deep inside your water
Drowning deep inside your sound

Love me Faster than the devil
Run me straight into the ground
Drowning Deep inside your water
Drowning deep inside your sound

It's Love and Memories from OAR. Not sure why that was in my head either. It was only the chorus. Maybe it's because I feel somewhat abandoned lately. A few of the guys that I used to be super close to and who were there for me all the time just sort of disappeared. I am really starting to think one of them was just wanting to get in my pants. I apologize for the bluntness for any relatives that read that. . .

But the other one really makes me sad. Scratch that. . . I guess more shocked. We really haven't talked since December. We used to talk all the time. Whenever I was back home, he always seemed to go out of his way to see me, even when no one else did. We were close. And then I found out Friday, that I didn't get invited to his wedding when I was out with our mutual friends. The mutual friends who are friends with him because of me. He used to drive once a year to Iowa to come visit me. But apparently driving 5.5 hours to see someone on a yearly basis doesn't mean you're good enough friends to invite to your wedding. Now, I was invited to his first wedding that got called off 4 months before. I know this because I was going to a Cardinal's game that next day and had to make sure when the wedding for sure was. His response to me asking when his wedding was and if I was invited so I could make the plans for that were "You're one of my good friends, of course you're invited! It wouldn't be the same without you!" And now, 3 years later. . . not invited to his wedding. I do know that I've only met his future wife a few times. But still. I've gone to a few friends weddings where the weddings were the first time I'd met the husbands because we all live soo far apart.

I think our mutual friends are more upset with it than me though. And I feel like I should be more upset with it. More angry. But I guess for me, it's going to take more energy to be angry so I'm just not going to worry about it. And I do understand weddings are hard because you only have a set amount of money and can only invite a certain amount of people. It's hard to make a guest list and you have to add and subtract people and whatnot. I've had to help a few friends with the guest list when they asked me who they should or shouldn't invite just because they weren't sure. And I guess my answer was "if you're questioning it, maybe you shouldn't invite them?" There were a few friends from high school whose weddings I wasn't invited to and I still hang out with and keep in touch with sporadically. I wasn't upset. I realize I live far away now and maybe it's just easier to not invite the person who has to travel far and who might not come.

The last song I had was:

Gone, let it wash away the best I had
Gone and when I disappear
Don't expect me back
Don't expect me back

Matt Nathanson--Gone.

Apparently in my mind I'm letting someone go. . .just not sure who though. . .

I should also state it was not the WHOLE song running through my head. . . just those tidbits of the song. . . over and over. . .

Also, for those keeping track, I realized that my roommate and I do have an issue. And it's pretty bad. She. . . She. . . it hurts to say it right now really. . . but. . . I'll just say it. . . she hates Reba McEntire. I love Reba. Always have loved her. It's hard. We couldn't watch the CMAs because she was hosting. And Toby Keith is like a close 2nd of Country Artists she doesn't like either. It hurts because I enjoy both of them as artists. So I guess Sarah will always be the #1 Roommie since we both liked Reba. And can belt out "Fancy". . .or some other Reba tune. . . while we danced around the apartment. :)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A Little Light Rambling for your Tuesday. . .


  • First off Happy 32nd Birthday to my dear friend Josie Jan. I'm sure she's partying it up in heaven as we speak. I'll be cracking open a bottle of wine (or 2) in her honor tonight.



  • This weekend my Great Aunt celebrated her 100th birthday. I hope that I can be just like her when I'm that age. When we got there I wished her a "Happy Birthday" and told her how great she looked. She told me "It's because I don't do anything! I should look great!" Then I asked her if she was having a great time getting to see everyone and she told me that she could go without everyone coming up and talking to her. She doesn't need the attention. haha!

    Later on she was presented with plaques from both the Senate and the House (my Dad's friend being on the Senate side) and he said he asked her what her secret was to living that long and she said "Minding my own business!!" Seriously. I think I just want to get that old so I can say whatever is on my mind and no one gets mad!



  • It was also great to have my parents in town and the awesome Butch. On Thursday night we got back from dinner and I started to get ready for bed early. He took this as the cue I was going to bed, and when I went to grab my glasses, he was already curled up on my bed like old times! What a stinker! When I didn't go to bed, he just followed me out to the living room with my parents.



  • The month of April is almost over and I am looking forward to it! :) Apparently, up North today they have snow. . . it better not come here!



  • My roommie and I were talking and she asked if I thought she was an awesome roommate. I told her that it would be hard to top my old roommate, Sarah. Although, compatibility wise, we get along almost the same and have about as much fun. I told her though, that if we come up with a song and a dance routine, she might just tie for first place with her. Although, she'd have to get an awesome boyfriend, too, that I could hang out with when she wasn't around. Then I got to thinking that not only did Sarah and I have "a song" and a specific dance routine to that song, we'd often sing and dance around the apartment when we'd clean. And in our friend Wyatt's head, we did this while wearing a our tank tops and panties and in between pillow fights. I actually think once he might have come over in the middle of us cleaning and was sadly disappointed. Oh the memories we had.

Happy Week people! Happy Week!!!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Spring a ding, ding. . .

It's funny how life can just be sad. Not funny "haha" obviously. You don't mean it to be, but there are just hard months once in a while. Months you just wish you could skip over year after year.

For me, it's the month of April. Well the last week of March through the first week of May. I've had 5 people close to me die in between that time starting in April '98 and in ending in May '03. And now I have Josie's birthday to remember during that time. It's always been just a sad period of time. Today is the last time I saw my Grandma before she died 4 days later. I was soo happy I got to say goodbye.

But it's also the beginning of Spring. When the world awakes around you and the trees begin to bud, and the flowers bloom, and the birds start chirping. Those birds can seriously quit chirping at the crack of dawn. . . but that's for another time. Spring is absolutely my favorite time of year. It starts to get warmer and everything starts to turn green. And now that I can drink legally because obviously I never drank before the age of 21, I really appreciate the outdoor patio at places. :) Even with all these bad things happening to people I love recently (seriously I've had it up to HERE with Cancer), I can't help but still enjoy the season.

A basic flaw I have is that I often care more about other people than myself. I blame my parents. It has to be their fault I'm this way. Probably more my Mom's fault. . . Anyway. . . Recently while my world felt like it was crushing in on me I was randomly reminded of something. My friend Will and Dan on Wednesday night had commented to me that it's probably because I smile at everyone that makes people want to come up and tell me their life stories. Dan said that I bring it on myself since I really don't care to hear about random people's problems.

Then on Thursday night at dinner, Will was giving me a hard time about being able to talk to anyone. And one time he actually witnessed me carry on 8 different conversations with people around me all at once. And never at any time lose what I was talking about with those people. The next thing I know, the person next to us asks me if I can take a picture of their table. I do. Will didn't know what happened to me and then realized what I was doing. He then laughed because of the 4 of us at the table, she chose me to do it. I said it was probably only because I was sitting right next to her. He didn't buy it. He went with my sunny disposition.

And that's when it dawned on me how many times I heard the phrase "sunny disposition" when describing me the last few weeks. Man, if only all those people read my blog. And that's when I realized that the only time I let my sad show is on my blog. I write about it and it feels better. I have very few friends who I call and say that I'm depressed to. I do have a few friends who know how I bottle things up and will purposely call me or email me and say "We're hanging out. I can tell you need to talk." And it's weird when you're the person with the sunny disposition because when you call your sister and are upset about something, she will call you three times a day to check on you for a good 7 days.

This weekend I took a "me" weekend to just relax and have some time to myself. I was laying outside, soaking up the abnormally warm weather and realized just like Spring, I'm ready for a new beginning. I'm not sure what the new beginning is per say, but something new. Suggestions are welcome. Maybe I'll take an archery class or something. Or learn a new sport. Take up running. Who am I kidding?!? I will probably never take up running again. That was sooo college me. Learn to make sushi. I do realize though I am pretty awesome the way I am. It's not my fault if others don't see the awesomeness. ;) Or can't seem to accept that's the way I am. Not necessarily the awesome but my personality.

On my Facebook for some reason the one and only note I posted popped up. It was the one a few years ago where you were supposed to write 25 Things People Didn't Know About You. I reread them, and really it does describe me to a "T". And my cousin's comment on the end made me smile. She said "This could also be titled "25 Reasons to love A." And what was most funny about the note is that during the last week or so people brought up to me at least 15 of those things in describing me. And because of that, I am going to take it as a sign that I am all right.

If there is one thing you can take from my endless rambling today is that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you but what you think of yourself. There's always a place to start over and nothing lasts forever. Life is for living and you should never take it for granted. Sometimes there are risks, but if you never take a risk, how will you know if you could have made it better? I think that's enough cliches. :)

Happy Hump Day!!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Deep Thoughts by A. . .

I know I can't stress it enough but I really do miss "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy". I don't even really watch SNL anymore or as it was appropriately called back in the day "Saturday Night Live." When did we as a society just start shortening everything?? I blame texting. I do.

Anyway, that's not what is really bugging me. Chances in life are what has been weighing on me. As I was watching the NCAA game last night, it really came to fruition since I didn't pick either of those teams in the Finals. I wasn't as invested in the game as in years past when I had great picks for the Tourney. I did want Butler to win, and again, I face disappointment. :( But with everything going on in my life right now, it's amazing how little choices can affect you. Saying "yes" when you should have said "No." Or saying "No" when you should have said "Yes." I think my life is full of those moments. The "what ifs" if you will. A few years ago my New Year's Resolution was to say "Yes" to new things. I think I did a good job. I at least enhanced my life a little bit. I'm sure losing a good friend in the process has helped me to put my life in perspective in too many ways to count. (Side note: John moved this weekend out of the place he and Josie shared.)

I'm really trying to not dwell on what happened last week but it still just bothers me. I was told by a friend that I have an innate ability to step outside a situation and see all sides. And how when I'm in a situation that I know is bad, I will be the first to say it. (Whether or not I do anything about it is a different story. My job would be a great example of this. . .) I need to realize that other people don't have this ability. I think that's the hardest part. I can't expect people to behave or react like I would in the same situation. Granted, my way isn't always the best, but I'm also known for my level-headedness so maybe it is a good majority of the time! ;) I think we are all like that in some way I guess.

I think a great weekend always helps put you in a good mood anyway. I also met some really awesome people this weekend. Random strangers who made me just smile and happy about life.

On Friday we went to a fish fry which is like my favorite thing about Lent--Catholic Churches have these everywhere it seems. One of my friends grew up in a small town in Iowa and had never heard of this. I absolutely loved that she said "I assume you don't have to be Catholic to go??" Her fiance's response "No, you don't need to show your denomination card at the door." Hilarious. She even went to Catholic School so I am just surprised they never had them. Maybe I just grew up in a big Fish Fry community.

On Saturday, we went to my favorite bar for my friend's Surprise 30th. As we are waiting for Matt to get to the bar, we get all excited when someone walks in and get ready to yell "Surprise!" only to find out it wasn't Matt and then all say "Ahhhh" to the people who walk in. Now this one guy walks in for the party when this happens and he quips "Way to help with the self-esteem people!" This guy I will state for the record is super cute and apparently has an awesome sense of humor. Later on this couple walks in and we do the same thing and he says "See, now you guys just ruined their whole night too! Probably a first date." Finally Matt arrives and he's super surprised. I don't know why I love surprise parties but I do.

Anyway, later on this guy and I are talking and I make a crack to him about his low self-esteem and it's probably because he's so ugly. (not ugly at all guys. SUPER cute.) And then he says"Great, now you called me fat." And I said "noo. . . I never said fat. I said it's hard because you're soo ugly." Then he said "Great, fat and ugly. You're really making me feel better." So I asked if he wanted to hug it out and he said "Sure" so I get up to hug him and then mess up his hair. . . which really wouldn't move. He then says "Great, I'm already dealing with being ugly and you just mess up my hair." I come to find out later that his Dad is like the CEO of a very large international company that most of my friends (including the bday boy) work for. No one really knew it at the time until someone asked him what his last name was. Too bad I probably completely ruined any chance with him if I had a chance to begin with. I apparently make really bad decisions people. Really BAD.

And why do people always put "fat" and "ugly" together. I think as a fat person, I am kind of cute.


Now if you watch HIMYM you are well aware of the phenomenon called "The Crazy Eyes." I didn't get to witness this first hand although I thought something was amiss. But apparently one of the girl's at the party would laugh but her eyes wouldn't laugh with her. I believe the term my friend used was "Her eyes could kill things just by looking at them." She said she noticed it once and then that was all she could pay attention to when we were all talking. She said she would laugh but her eyes were still piercingly angry. I wish she would have let me in on this that night as opposed to the next day. There were a lot of laughs on Saturday. A lot. I think I would have laughed even more.

I also suffer from a phenomenon called "Diarrhea of the Mouth." If you don't know what that is, come hang out with me when I'm attracted to a guy and can't seem to shut up when I talk to him. I'm a talker anyway, but if there is a guy that I like somewhat. . . I will tell a story and then just keep adding minuscule details and the whole time in my head I keep saying "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!" but I don't. I mean, I can't tell a short story to save my life anyway, but the diarrhea of the mouth is the worst. I think it's a nervous trait but nonetheless annoying. When I worked at Starbuck's there was a manager at Target who was like 15 years older than me. I often called him a DILF (he was maybe 40 at the time). Anyway, whenever I talked to him it was like I couldn't shut up. He probably thought I was one flighty 25-year-old. This happened to me on Saturday with the hot bartender. It didn't help that he was there partying for his Dad's birthday as well and that he kept buying shots for him and I to do. I wish I could remember all that I said to him but I know I said at least 5 times "Hey I got a new glove. I'll have to come over and we can play catch so I can break it in." He said I should do that as we are almost neighbors but I still can't tell if he was just humoring me. I think this might be one of the moments I need to say "yes" though. :)

It's also allergy season. I'm not sure if you have allergies or not but I am horribly affected by this. I sneeze approximately 10 times in a row. And. . .the only thing that really ever helps me is Tylenol Allergy/Sinus. Guess what was just recalled??? I do use the generic brands but apparently SuperTarget was out of it on Sunday. So I went to Walgreen's yesterday to get it. And thanks to the ingredients in it, I have to swipe my ID and am limited to how many I can buy in a week. Thank you Meth Addicts for that one! I am doing my neti pot too which helps to sleep. There really is nothing like being woken up from a sound sleep with a huge sneeze (and then several more). I think for the time being I should work at an 800-sex line because my voice is perfect for it with it being all raspy and whatnot.

Random funnies:



  • Add this to things my Gramps says: We were talking about an older lady friend of his who wanted to date him after my Grandma died. I asked how she was doing and he said she was still with the same guy "Getting her ass spanked I assume". Thank you Gramps for the mental image on that one. And the reason he never dated after Grandma died "[he] listened to a woman tell him what to do for 55 years, why do it for another." Plus, I'm pretty sure my Grandma would be hard to replace considering she did absolutely everything for him. I mean EVERYTHING. And if he did get a lady friend, I'm pretty sure Aunt Ruby would quit bringing him over treats. :)

  • On Saturdaya before the surprise party, I stopped at Pizza Hut to bring some to the bar so another friend and I could eat. While in line waiting for pick up, the guy behind me (maybe in his early 60s) says "I'm sorry this is going to sound creepy, but you have really nice hair. It's beautiful." I say "thank you" politely. And then he says "It really is just gorgeous." So I say "Thank you. I actually took the time to do it." And he laughed. :)

  • My Dad's birthday was Saturday and my sister and her family came to visit him and Mom as well as our close family friends. Belen is in the early to mid stages of Alzheimer's so her memory isn't obviously all there. Anyway, she absolutely adores my nephew. Well all day she kept asking him how old he was. Apparently after the 2oth time of saying "6" he says "21" without missing a beat. Everyone lost it and Belen just laughed. He is a character. . . which I think he inherits honestly. . .


    Thanks for reading my babble. It means a lot! :)


    Happy week people! Happy Week!