Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Oh no, not again. . .

I think it's time to just quit reading things. I mean ALL things. They depress me.

And now maybe this will depress you. . .

The number 1 and 2 things on there. . . are exactly what I like to eat when I am hungover. Nothing says, "I love you" to a hangover more than a Burger King sausage, egg, and cheese croissanwich and hash browns in the morning.

Now since the weight loss I cannot tell you the last time I even ate that. This might explain the weight gain. . . hmmmm. . .

Now what I have when I am hungover: yogurt and a can of Coca-Cola and maybe an iced vanilla coffee from McDonalds. Or I'll make myself a scrambled egg with cheese, onions, and bacon and some homemade hashbrowns. But if I'm in a hurry, just the yogurt and Coke. It's got to be Coke. And I have no idea why.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Hello, My Name is Samantha. . .

Well. . . my bar name is anyway.

The only times I actually use it are when a complete weirdo/old weird guy/creepy guy comes up to me and asks my name or when a completely and utterly drunk guy comes up and asks. Saturday night the latter happened.

Now the reason I use the fake name for the completely drunk guy is because one of two things could happen:

1) He somehow will remember my name and yell it at me across the bar/street/parking lot, or

2) If around microphone equipment, he will somehow remember my name and say it on the microphone and make me come up and karaoke and then keep saying it until I actually come up. (Sorry, repressed memory. . .)


So on Saturday night at Oktoberfest this super drunk guy comes up to my group of friends and says "Hey come up and dance with us!" Then starts talking to us and asks the ladies in the group their names. Well I'm the last one, and I say "Samantha" at which point, my friend Laura spits out her beer and rolls over laughing uncontrollably. She apparently had never heard me say this before. The guy, who was an attractive looking guy mind you but extremely drunk, looks at her and says, "I know. . . I'm druuunnnk. . . but I just don't want this awesome polka music to go to waste!" He continued to get us to try and dance but to no avail. I wasn't drunk enough yet, and there were 2 people dancing and one guy I was really surprised could even stand. He was doing more of a walking-kick dance. I think to obtain balance. However, after giving the fake name Chops decided that he would call me Samantha the entire rest of the night. And we figured Laura's bar name should be Tess. Well as we were walking around drunk guy actually apologized for trying to get us to dance. His friends were in the band and apparently they had recruited him and some others to get people to dance. It thought that was nice on his part. Now I'm kind of wishing I wouldn't have given him the fake name! ;)

As we are leaving Oktoberfest just Laura and I, this group of 4 guys and 1 girl comes up and 2nd drunk dancing guy comes and puts his arm around me. Again, I think for support. He asks our names and of course I say "Samantha" and Laura says "Tess." He then also asks if one of us would like to make out with him later. To which I say, "Oh darn, I would, but I don't even know your name." So then I ask his name and he says "Peter." I ask him if I can call him Pete because I really like that better and Peter just sounds dirty. He says no. And I say "Didn't you watch the show Pete and Pete?" And he said "Yes but I don't have a dancing tattoo, so I can't just call myself that." He is now approximately a block behind his friends to which the girl in the group yells back "Ted, Hurry up!!" Drunk guy gave me his bar name! haha! What are the odds?!? And I'm guessing he used Peter because he indeed was wanting to be dirty. So I started giving him crap about giving me a fake name. And he tries telling me that his real name is Peter, blah, blah, blah. Well we leave him and go to the bars.

I then proceed to get drunk. I'm not sure how this happened. I was normal, normal, then drunk. Out of nowhere. Well Wine Rep was bartending and wanted me to come see him, which I did want to do but when I texted him and asked if I came there if he would take me home since I didn't have a vehicle, he never texted back. Now if he's wanting to get out of the "Friend" zone he's needing to do these things. So after the third bar we went to, I'm standing at the bar and who should walk by?? Peter/Ted. So I yell "Hey Ted!" and of course he turns to look and I say "Ted, Ted, Ted. . .it's not nice to give people fake names" and then walk away shaking my head.

Then as I was also standing at the bar, this really drunk guy doing this swaying stance asks to buy me a beer and if I could tell him what he was drinking. To which his friend informs me it's his bachelor party. So I smell his drink and he was drinking Red Bull and Vodka. He thanked me and then proceeded to put his hand on my arse. And as I moved his hand off of me, he apologized, and then I told him he needs to be drinking water. His friend agreed but made him finish the drink first. Apparently the guy was a founding member of the band Slipknot. Yeah, can't remember his name. And the other guy was some famous drummer. No idea whatsoever what their names were. But the guy on the other side of me knew who they were.

So as I proceed to get drunker, I texted Dean to see if he was out and about and would come and pick me* up. And you know what?? He was almost asleep and in bed. But he came the 20 minutes to get me, drove me the 20-25 minutes home, and then drove to his house the 20 minutes. Now that's a friend. And since I was drunk I think I talked non-stop from the very moment of getting into his vehicle. I now probably owe him. But I think since he broke my heart, he owes me these kind of things, right??


*I don't mind taking cabs. . . but as a girl, I really don't like taking them late at night to my house. I have in Chicago numerous times, but it's a little different. This town is a lot smaller and easier to remember where you dropped someone off at 2am.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Do you know what's sexy??

Me blowing my nose this week.

Or sneezing 100+ times on Monday.

Or on Tuesday, losing my voice at 8:30am in the middle of a phone call.

Or just sounding all raspy and nasally when I talk.

Or me blowing my nose. Wait already said that. That HAS to be the sexiest.

Dearest Allergies--I still hate you.

Seriously. . . I can't make this stuff up. . .

I think even PETA has gone too far. See this.

I understand the cruelty of animals. But God made dairy cows for the sole purpose of producing milk. They were not made in a lab somewhere that way. I realize that perhaps with the addition of all the machines they use now to milk the cows. . . maybe not the best. . . but still.

PETA you have gone to far. And obviously haven't tasted breast milk. Either have I, but did dare my brother-in-law to. And not good according to him.

Why is it okay to make a woman a human milk producing machine and not an animal?? Does this make sense? PETA you are basically saying that an animal's rights are more important than a woman's rights. Because not sure if you realize this, men can't produce milk naturally. Or is PETA saying just use baby formula as a substitute for milk. In that case, go for it! However, I have accidentally tasted baby formula and it was really, really, really gross.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Off of my chest. . . and onto yours. . .

Things that I need to say:

WAMP--where'd this go?? It's been a while and I miss it. This guy didn't though.

Clay Aiken--Really?? I think everyone had their own suspicions. And really who cares?? It's your life, live it the way you want to.

Lindsey Lohan--Again? Love Line is where you admit it? And really who cares?? You're happy. And your Dad is insane.

HIMYM (How I Met Your Mother to the non 'in the know' crowd)--I love you. Each and every one of you. And Barney. I really love you. Did Robin lose a lot of weight or is it just me??

I just ate homemade Mac&Cheese for lunch that my neighbor made. It was delicious. And totally not in the diet that I need to be on.

I think I am just going to be destined to forever have weird guy relationships.

Dean on Tuesday night Volleyball to our team said "Sometimes I think you wish I was gay." Just because I always have him do little dances. Which by the way, he does on his own without my help. He also makes up little raps/jingles sometimes. Not my fault on this one people.

Wine Rep told me that I put him in the Friend Zone. I'm sorry, your actions put you in the friend zone. Not me.

Whew. .. much better. Thanks!

Oh and my dad is talking to me. He just forgot to call me and tell me he got back home okay. Which if it was me, he would have called me 8 times in an hour.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Why I Am My Dad's Favorite. . .

Now I wasn't always my Dad's favorite. Any relative and close family friend could tell you that. My sister was always number one even though my parents always swore they had no favorites. But it was obvious.

Anyway, this weekend my Dad came to see my Gramps and on Friday told me that he was going to spend Saturday night with me. It mainly was because he was still really jealous that my Mom came in May and spent the ENTIRE weekend with me for Mother's Day. And she, of course, always brings up how she and I had such a wonderful time that weekend, how I pampered her, and bought her a really cute purse.

So on Saturday, Dad and I went to go buy some beer for him for the thing he had on Sunday. He wanted to buy the Miller product Land Shark. And I said "Dad, that's not brewed by Miller. It's Anheiser-Busch." And he said "No it's not. It's Miller." And I said "Dad-I was at Katie's and they had a coaster on their bar, and I said to Katie that I was surprised and didn't know it was brewed by Anheiser." You see, my friend Katie's husband is a brewmeister for Anheiser-Busch. He was adamant about it so I called Katie to clarify. Then later, Katie called back to tell me, that yes I was right. On the label it says Margaritaville Breweries but it's actually Anheiser. They just package it that way because it's a Jimmy Buffet thing. Of course, my Dad cannot tell me that I'm right and says I'm still wrong.

Later on in the night we were talking about something and he says, "So you think you're right about everything, huh??" and I said, "Well obviously I am. Look at earlier today with Land Shark."

And yes, he still hasn't talked to me. :)

Dear Allergies,

I HATE you.

Sincerely,

Me

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I just realized something. . .

I miss Dawson's Creek. And you know how I came to this conclusion? It wasn't because the former Love of My Life (LML) and I used to watch it on Friday nights after we came home from the bars. And because the only reason I couldn't watch it on Wednesdays was because LML wouldn't watch it at his place because his friends made fun of him. Even after we broke up, this was our ritual. An awkward ritual, considering I would still lay on his lap on the couch and he'd still run his fingers through my hair while we watched the show. But nonetheless and I digress.

I miss it because I watched Fringe last night. And I realized I'm still in love with Joshua Jackson. I loved Pacey. I had a crush on Charlie in Mighty Ducks I, II, and III. I want to be from Canada just so I can say "Hey Joshua I'm Canadian too, so maybe we should date and maybe get married." I also have secretly watched every movie (good or bad) he's been in. I haven't watched his newest one though. The horror movie one. I'll watch it soon though. I'll make Dean watch it with me. I still haven't paid him back for making me watch Belly. It was a horrible movie and had bad acting, but it had a great soundtrack!

But Fringe is awesome if you haven't watched it. I love JJ Abrams. Well I loved him for Alias--I couldn't get into Lost. I liked the X-Files every now and then. (Okay so I watched it for David Duchovny* who now has a sex addiction.) But anyway, it's awesome and you should watch it.

Also Congrats to D$ and her engagement! YEAH! And you better call me with details. :)

*When I just spell checked this, an alternative to Duchovny was Douching. I just thought that was HILARIOUS considering what's been going on with him!!!!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Adventures in Travelling.. .

Things you should avoid doing: Running through the airport in your new shoes.

Why would someone do that?? Oh because you had to sit on the runway with the plane off for 40 minutes BEFORE you could taxi to your gate and then had to literally sprint with all your luggage from B1 to B42. And barely made the flight. AWESOME. They were waiting for you though because they knew you and 5 other people had to make that connection. Now I have to wear big band aids on the back of my heel for the rest of the week. They are adorable shoes though. Even with the blood stain slightly on the back.

I'm in Miami this week for work. And it's HOT. And Humid. It gets pretty humid here in the summers, but nothing compares to this humidity. That is why I am never moving to Miami. I was sweating just walking the 4 blocks to the train. And my hair is now all wavy and poofy. It was sleek and straight before I left. Glad I took the time to do my hair this morning.

Last night I ventured out alone to eat at the Brewery next to my hotel. I know. I NEVER go out to eat by myself, but I was basically forced to since I was all alone. My goal was to just sit at the bar and eat and maybe some cute guy would come up and talk to me. Well when getting to the bar, there are only old men. And old men for some reason love me and they usually turn out to be creepy, dirty old men, so I am freaking out on where to sit. Then I see this girl sitting by herself and since there was no place to sit without sitting next to someone, I sit next to her. She happens to be from St. Paul, MN, and is there for work as well. What are the odds?!?

And yes, there was a creepy guy that kept looking at me that was sitting a chair away from me. I was lucky to have a normal person! Too bad the creepy guy couldn't have bought my meal! :)

I am still in the process of writing the post from the roadtrip. . . it will get done. . . sometime. . .

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

I knew it!!!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26205250/

Sorry no time for update yet, but I came across this article! HILARIOUS! I'm glad it's true and almost hate to admit that perhaps I've been victim to it. . . :)

14+ hours later. . .

And Brophy and I are still friends. . .

I'll write about our adventures once I get a chance! :)

Friday, September 5, 2008

I'm confused. . .

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26551009/

Basically (in case you don't want to read the article) it's saying how Ashton Kutcher's ex-girlfriend was murdered and they think they have the guy in custody that supposedly killed her.

Now the thing that has me thinking is the whole ex-girlfriend. See, I guess I'm perplexed at what makes a girlfriend. It says that this woman was killed in her apartment. And the night she was killed, Ashton was supposed to pick her up for an awards thing. He went to the door, she didn't answer, and he then walked around back and saw what he thought were wine stains on the floor and left. He was not the one that discovered her dead though. It was another friend of hers that did.

Now, I would hope if they were actually dating that my boyfriend knowing that we had a date especially for something say an awards show, would take more time in trying to locate me. I mean, if we had plans, I would hope that he would be the one to find me dead. He should know me well enough to know I'm not going to flake on something important to him. Now as a friend, it would make total sense in say thinking that maybe I forgot and then didn't call and let you know or something. And you would just go around the back and be like "Oh well!" That's a little bit more forgivable. However if you're my friend and you're supposed to go to something important with me and skip out. . . I would be pissed!! Perhaps I am the type though that if my friend said they are going to go to something with me and I go to pick them up and they aren't there, I would be calling them or calling a roommate or another common friend and be like WTF?? Because I wouldn't be taking just any friend to an awards show. I'd be taking either a boyfriend or a good guy friend that I know would be a blast. I just find it all around weird. But perhaps this is before everyone and their grandma had a cell phone so Ashton had no way of getting a hold of her. It was in 2000. I guess I'm quasi disappointed in the lack of effort Ashton had in finding the girl. Because if it were me, I'd be at the girlfriend/friend's house after the awards show and be like "Thanks for ditching me!" I also talk a big game, but I am completely a non-confrontational person and probably wouldn't do that, but I might tape a post-it note to his/her door.

I don't know if they are just trying to generate some media coverage for the killer by saying Ashton Kutcher's ex-girlfriend. Who apparently also killed several other women. I think he should be locked up for life. However, I also feel that if they are putting this in the media like they are, that it will be tough to find a jury that won't be partial. Which then irritates me because his victims might not get the justice they deserve if he was in fact the killer.

That is my Friday rant. . . Have a good weekend!!!!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Were you DYING in anticipation???

Things have been hectic here in A-Land.

I have work and my gramps had surgery on Tuesday. He's fine which is good. But I went and saw him in the afternoons and also Wednesday morning and this morning. He's being discharged this afternoon (well that's what they told me this morning) so that's good!

This weekend I'll be in IL visiting the family briefly and then am going to the Cardinals game! WAHOO! YEAH Busch Stadium! And really the only reason I am going to the game is because Brophy asked me to because it's Albert Pujols Bobblehead day. This is the only reason he wanted to go. I wanted to go because I hadn't been to the new Busch Stadium. His girlfriend was giving me a hard time about stealing him away this weekend, but we worked out a deal that she would pick up guys for me this weekend, and I would hang out with her boyfriend. haha!! And technically I didn't steal him away. We made these plans before he had even met her, let alone started dating her. And I jokingly told her as such. Have I mentioned how awesome his girlfriend is?!? Technically I've only met the girls Brophy has gone on like one date with, but I think this one is definitely a keeper!

Tonight is my first night of Kickball. And in case you were wondering, yes I am 12. :) And our team name is The 5th Grade Bullies. I thought it was appropriate. We're still trying to decide on shirts. I was thinking of the picture of the kid who played the one O'Doyle kid in Billy Madison. Remember "O'Doyle Rules!"

Oooh you might possibly be wondering how my Tuesday night went. It went well. Wine Rep actually showed up. We lost 2 games but won 1. :( We were in the SUN though for the 2 we lost. I got hit in the face (not hard) with the ball because I lost it in the sun. Nice. Wine Rep left right after the game, and when I asked why, he said it was because he needed to eat before his other volleyball game at 8:30. Not sure if I believe that considering the place we play at has awesome food and a full menu of more than just "bar" food. I'm thinking it might have a little more to do with Dean being there, but whatever. Not worth wasting my time thinking about his weirdness. Also, he hasn't called me all week. Oh well!

Anyway. . . so later Dean and I went and grabbed some food at another favorite bar place of ours. And while we're talking he says "so. . . this is going to sound weird, but Wine Rep is really good looking." And then high fives me and says "Good Job!" I cannot make this up people. The awkwardness that I felt at this moment is beyond words. Even my friend Sarah who feels Wine Rep is beyond HOT didn't even high five me after she met him. Dean then went on to say that I know he's not into guys and I said "well I've had my suspicions at times." And then he proceeded to tell me about his male whoreness over the weekend. We split soup and when he asked why I got two spoons I said, "I don't know where your mouth has been and really don't want to take any chances." Yes, I'm nice like that and I went there. I did try to ear muff him out but he wouldn't have any of it. Lovely. I'm glad that we're back to being friends and all, but seriously!! TMI. T. M. I.

I'll let you know how my weekend is. . . I'm sure it will be great! We're staying with one of my good college friends in St Louis--whose husband just so happens to be the brew meister for this little company called Anheiser Busch. Not sure if you've heard of them. I'll let you know how it is! :)

Did you chuckle too???

I don't usually talk politics in my blog. Maybe because for the most part, I don't like to talk politics because some people take it to the extreme and are super touchy about it. These are the same people you don't talk religion to. I will say that I do lean more towards the liberal side, and I do tend to vote with the Donkey. However, I will admit--I did not vote for John Kerry. Do not judge me. Had another Democratic hopeful won the candidacy, I would have voted for them in a heart beat. But not John Kerry. He got botox before a debate so he looked better on TV. This is wrong in my eyes. And I have an issue with partial birth abortions. My cousin was born at 25 weeks. I do believe it is a woman's right to choose, but I cannot accept partial birth abortions at this time. However, in the long scheme of things, abortion is a small matter in comparison to the larger things happening in this country.

Enough about politics. . . but the reason I even brought it up is because I love Jon Stewart and thought this was very interesting.

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=184086

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Things I need to do every weekend

RELAX.

On Friday for some reason I was so tired. And despite my friends best attempts to get me to go to happy hour, I refused and went home instead and took a nap. For 2 hours. Now I should say, I guess I did a mini-happy hour with my work people downstairs at the brewery. . .so I guess I didn't say "No" to happy hour all together. I just said "No to happy hour and then staying out until 2am." Now don't be worried that I didn't go out at all. At about 6:30pm I got a text from my friend Kattie asking where in the world I was at. I said "Home. Just woke up." And then I got "What are you wearing?" I knew at this point it wasn't Kattie but couldn't pick out who it was from our friends seeing as one of the main culprits of the dirty texts was playing volleyball. So I said "What do you want me to be wearing?? Jeans??" And I got "Daisy Dukes" back in response. And then said "Are you coming out?" I thought about it and said "Sure." So I met them out. And then Brophy was disappointed when I didn't show up in my Daisy Dukes.
(FYI-I do not own a pair of these, so how on earth I would show up in them is any one's guess.)
Then after about 2 hours, we decided to leave. I then went home, made homemade salsa, and went back over to Kattie's where we sat on her porch, drank, and ate salsa until about midnight.

Saturday morning I woke up feeling refreshed and went to the Farmer's Market with Christine, where we ate an egg roll and homemade ice cream for breakfast. We also had a fair share of wine samples from about 4 different wineries. I tasted two different wines that literally tasted like Welch's sparkling grape juice. These could be dangerous. And delicious. And dangerous. I'm going to the winery to buy some of these. :) Then after I bought some veggies, we decided to go to one of our favorite outdoor patios and have a Strongbough. If you haven't ever enjoyed this beer, it tastes like apple juice. Slightly carbonated apple juice. With a higher alcohol content than regular beer. And well, apparently I was a little bit more happy than I thought because I knocked my beer over when it was half-full. Apparently an egg roll and ice cream aren't good fillers. This is also where my sickness of talking with my hands can turn deadly. I only knocked about a quarter of it out so not that bad of a party foul. I came home and took yet another 2 hour nap. I started to wonder if I was coming down with something but realized that I could not remember the last time I purposely didn't make any plans so I could do whatever I wanted to.

Saturday night, Kattie and I decided to do Mexican and drink margaritas. This is always a good idea. Unless you go at 6pm. And drink several of these. So by the time I get home, I decided to ditch out on watching movies with friends and opted to just lay on the couch and watch the IL game instead. They need to learn how to tackle. That's all I'm going to say.

Sunday I got up and Dan and I went to church like we usually do. Then Christine, Robb, and I were supposed to go to the winery but Christine got sick. At this point, I realize a lot of people aren't really wine people at this point in time. And a lot of people are out of town or had birthday parties. Oh well. Kattie and I went shopping instead. And I got some new sunglasses. Sunday night, I went to Dan's and played Rock Star. If you haven't played this, it's awesome. However, after playing it for 4 hours, different parts of my body hurt. My ankle that I sprained has been hurting from playing the pedal on the drums. My wrist hurts from strumming the bass. And playing the drums in real life and playing them on Rock Star are completely different. Also I realized that while I am not tone deaf, I apparently am "Pitch-y". I finally realized what Randy Jackson was talking about. However, I completely rocked a Good Charlotte song. I think it was a Good Charlotte song. Doesn't matter though, I rocked it. :)

Monday I went to the ICubs where Brophy somehow managed to get me to drink more than I thought I was going to. And by that, I mean, I wasn't going to drink anything and ended up drinking a beer at the bar AND a 24oz at the game. And a water. You know, for hydration purposes. :) I made a frittata for my cousin and I for dinner and just talked.

What a good way to top off the long weekend! I hope this week goes just as well.

Things that might be awkward tonight though: Dean and I play volleyball together. We need a player because 2 people are on vacation and my cousin now has to go out of town for work. So Wine Rep is "Supposed" to play. I use quotes because he sucks at keeping his word on doing things. . . so I'm not holding my breathe. We'll see if it goes well though. I mean it should. Dean and I are friends. Wine Rep and I are friends. There is absolutely NOTHING to feel awkward about.